[FINAL UPDATE] AITAH for kicking out my husband after he went to go see and comfort his ex-girlfriend?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Imagine coming home, heart heavy with suspicion, only to find your world unraveling. A young woman, battered by arguments and a gut-punch job loss, faced a marriage teetering on the edge. Her husband’s late-night visit to his ex-girlfriend, Angela, set off a chain of events that left her questioning everything. Picture her, curled up at her parents’ house, surrounded by flowers and apologies from a man she no longer trusts, wondering how it all went so wrong.

This story isn’t just about a single betrayal; it’s a whirlwind of broken promises, workplace sabotage, and a woman finding her strength. From prank calls to a drunken night with lipstick stains, her husband’s actions—and Angela’s shadow—pushed her to a breaking point. It’s a tale of resilience, where walking away became her loudest statement.

For those who want to read the previous part: Original post, [UPDATE 2]

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‘[FINAL UPDATE] AITAH for kicking out my husband after he went to go see and comfort his ex-girlfriend?’

Hi everyone, it’s been a while and I know an update has been overdue and I feel like I can finally now give you guys one. It’s been a few weeks and a lot of stressful things have happened so I apologize for not updating sooner. I finally have a minute to update and I’m going to try to summarize events as a lot has happened so I’m sorry if details seem to be missing.

When I went back home, my husband wasn’t there (he was at work) I contemplated a ton and was very nervous to confront him as I dislike confrontation and what comes out of it, I was also sick and feeling weak so I just decided to go to sleep, and confront him the next morning, the next morning came and we did talk.

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At first it was awkward small talk over breakfast, he was being extra sweet though since he bought me coffee before I woke up, it was nice. I didn’t want to make a huge deal out of it so I just mentioned the picture, he was somehow offended and asked to see it.

I showed him and he said something like “oh it’s just song lyrics and means nothing” we went back and forth on this, don’t fully remember what was said but ultimately I just let it go. I went back to work the next day, and for the next few days me and him would argue about Angela almost everyday, the only times we didn’t argue is when we would ignore each other which was done 90% of the time.

I know this was childish of us to do but I was mad at him and just didn’t feel ready to try and repair things, getting a divorce or separating also felt extreme at the time as I had no evidence of him cheating, and it was just a theory. Work was honestly like an escape as I had my friends/coworkers there and was able to just be away.

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for reference I worked at a small independently owned office as a receptionist, I’ve worked there for 5 years and it was my favorite job, our boss was great, pay was good, I had friends there and benefits were amazing and despite occasionally being yelled at over the phone, It was honestly the best job I’ve ever worked at.

Then randomly at work we started to get prank calls, now it’s not totally unusual but these ones would happen everyday, it would usually be someone just screaming and then hanging up. We were instructed to wait for the other person to speak first during this.

After a few days these prank calls did stop but we kept getting calls from different people asking to talk to our boss, which was odd because rarely would we get this request, this happened multiple times a day for a few days. My boss usually sends these calls to voice mail as he’s busy so few days later I’m about to leave when he asks if I can stay for a bit and talk to him in his office.

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I did and this is where he showed me the voice mails and asked if I knew these people, they were all complaints about me. I didn’t recognize any of the voices so I said no. My boss assumed these weren’t real but to try and find out who these people might be, because of this when someone would call and ask to talk to our boss we had to ask for a phone number and name.

Some would provide it, some wouldn’t. Eventually this would happen every single hour and again all complaints about me, my boss decided to just send me home for a few days to see if the calls would end which they didn’t. A few days turned into a week and then I got a call and was fired.

From what my coworkers told me the calls continued and my boss was just sick of it as he would have to call back each time and decided it was just easier to fire me. I suspect this was Angela and her friends doing this to try to get me fired and they succeeded.

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During the week I was home, it was driving me crazy as sometimes I would have to be home with my husband and all I wanted to do was just argue, though no issues until I caught him stalking Angela’s Instagram, he would sleep on the couch and I would sleep in the room, I caught him when I saw him on his phone from the hallway.

I honestly was just tired from it all so I did blow up at him, his excuse was he just wanted to check up on her. When I told him I was fired and that I suspected it was Angela he basically called me crazy and said she would never do anything like that.

I was so drained that I didn’t even argue, in fact I didn’t even talk to him anymore, which is probably why he felt it was okay to come home late one night, drunk with faded lipstick on and glitter, we had another argument and he left. He didn’t come back for days and sent flowers and my favorite food to me with a note that said “I’m sorry, I love you.”

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He came home later that day and he looked pretty distraught and wanted to explain, I let him. His reasoning was that he felt awful about how our relationship was and needed to de-stress from it, he went out with a few friends for drinks and some girl kissed him and was dancing up on him, he said he rejected her immediately and felt disgusted.

I don’t know if I believe that still. I asked about Angela and if he was still talking to her to which he said no but she did reach out a few times and he did see her once. I asked if they ever slept with each other and he said no but she kissed him and he rejected her. I asked a whole bunch of other questions about our relationship and some of the answers did hurt.

I told him I wanted to separate just for a little bit, he broke down crying and begged me not to leave him, I apologized and packed most of my things as he was on his knees next to me apologizing. I ignored him and left. For the last 2 weeks I’ve been at my parents house, I finally told them what happened and they despise him.

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He’s been up here almost daily trying to talk to me and my parents refuse to let him see me (my parents live in the next town over).He’s sent me food, flowers, gift cards, literally anything you can DoorDash, he’s sent. I’ve gotten spam calls and messages from him, and I’ve blocked him. Yet he’s gotten his family and some of my distant relatives to do the same.

Honestly I’m tired of him and have begged him to stop trying to contact me, obviously hasn’t worked much. For my next moves I am thinking of divorce but I’m just not ready yet, none of this feels real, I just need to take time and heal a little before making that decision, I have a feeling divorce is going to be hard so I just can’t handle that yet or another option is therapy and try to reconcile.

I’m currently trying to find a job in my parents town, and I plan to stay here for a while until I’m able to move on fully. Also I know I didn’t talk about her much but as for Angela I have no idea if he’s talking to her still or anything about her

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and I want to keep it that way. I don’t think there is going to be another update since our relationship is pretty much over, thank you to those who checked up on me and commented advice I’m forever grateful.

When a partner’s ex lingers like an unwelcome guest, trust can crumble fast. This woman’s ordeal—losing her job to suspected harassment and facing her husband’s questionable loyalty—highlights the chaos of unresolved boundaries. His dismissal of her concerns, paired with Angela’s alleged sabotage, turned a marriage into a battleground.

The prank calls and complaints, likely orchestrated, were a calculated blow to her stability, while his drunken night out screamed disrespect. Dr. Shirley Glass, an expert on infidelity, wrote, “Secrecy is the breeding ground for betrayal”. Her husband’s secretive meetups with Angela, even if not physical infidelity, breached trust.

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Studies show 60% of marriages face boundary issues with ex-partners, often leading to conflict (source: Psychology Today). The job loss, potentially actionable as harassment, adds a legal layer—she could explore wrongful termination claims with a lawyer.

Her choice to separate reflects a need for self-preservation. Therapy might help her process this betrayal, while documenting all incidents, including calls and messages, could strengthen any legal case. For now, staying with her parents and blocking contact offers a safe space to heal and plan her next steps.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit didn’t mince words, rallying behind the woman with a mix of outrage and encouragement. The consensus is clear: her husband’s behavior, from stalking Angela’s Instagram to dismissing her job loss, was unforgivable.

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Many suspect he cheated, pointing to the lipstick and his weak excuses. They urge divorce, legal action against Angela for harassment, and a fresh start, emphasizing that she deserves respect and peace. Their fiery support paints a picture of a woman wronged, ready to reclaim her life.

MaryEFriendly − You're better off without him and his crazy ex girlfriend, OP. Ask your boss if you can't get a list of the numbers that called in and left messages about you. You'll likely be able to trace them back to Angela. Explain to him you were being stalked. You may have a case for wrongful termination and I highly suggest you talk to a lawyer/file a police report about what she did. 

DeepFudge9235 − With all this drama and mental anguish and if you don't have kids, divorce sounds like the best thing for you. The trust is broken and it will truly never be back.

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[Reddit User] − OP. GO TO A LAWYER. The time to develop self respect was months ago but you can start now. Don't talk to him. Don't respond. Document everything and make it very clear you aren't coming back

Head_Professional_21 − Honestly OP, leave him. If he stalking her page, he talking to her or wants to. You got fired from your job and it sounds like he doesn't care at all. 5 years is a long ass time. I wouldn't dare deal with a man like that disrespects you. You literally told him no multiple times and still saw her. Do yourself a favor and leave. You will be happier. Best of luck OP

Nosy_Neighbor16 − Sorry you're going through this, OP. I hate to be the one to say it, but he definitely cheated. I 100% don't believe for a second that he pushed Angela away after she kissed him or that it was only a kiss (and not Angela) that kissed him while he was gone. He is giving you a little bit of information hoping it will be enough and you won't dig for more.

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He should have cut off contact and not seen her again at all after all of this. I hope you do leave him and I hope you get a new job that you love. You might need to get a restraining order on your husband to get him to leave you alone.

justabiddi − This can’t be real—the disrespect is insane. OP, why are you entertaining this??

PeppermintEvilButler − Hun his mistress got you fired and he didn't care. Seriously get some self esteem 

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HauntingReaction6124 − time to get an investigator and get some evidence. At the very least you have a case of harassment the most you get some answers on what exactly is going on with hubby and angela.

neatfreak1517 − Sorry but you are dumb for believing anything that man said. He slept with her. He’s been cheating on you with her. It’s right there in black and white. Stop being a f**king doormat Jesus Christ. At this point if you go back to him then you deserve everything he puts you through.

AgentMaryland2020 − That's wrongful termination most likely, considering those calls could very likely be backtraced to their source. The police should have been contacted so that they could do it from a recent call.

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This woman’s journey is a stark reminder that trust, once shattered, is hard to rebuild. Her husband’s ties to his ex and his failure to stand by her cost her a job and her peace. Choosing separation was her way of drawing a line in the sand, a bold step toward healing.

As she rebuilds in the safety of her parents’ home, her story resonates with anyone who’s had to walk away from betrayal. Have you ever faced a moment where you had to choose yourself over a broken relationship? Share your experiences—what helped you move forward?

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