Fiance wanted an open marriage, so I called off the wedding. People are asking questions. Should I let them know why?

The soft hum of a therapist’s office turned icy as a groom-to-be sat, phone secretly recording, while his fiancée dropped a bombshell. Just weeks from their wedding, she proposed a one-sided open marriage—freedom for her to explore other men, but not for him. Her reasoning? She’d be too heartbroken if he strayed. Stunned but composed, he walked out, canceling the wedding and unraveling their future.

This isn’t just a breakup; it’s a raw clash of values, trust, and public scrutiny. The man’s calm exit belies the storm of betrayal he feels, while friends and family pepper him with questions. Readers might sense his quiet strength, wondering how to navigate such a public fallout without airing dirty laundry—or if the truth should come out.

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‘Fiance wanted an open marriage, so I called off the wedding. People are asking questions. Should I let them know why?’

Two weeks ago we were two weeks away from getting married. She asks me to go to therapy with her. She was already seeing a therapist on her own, and wanted me to go with her and have a talk, before the wedding, where we could be completely honest with one another.

That sounded a little weird to me, I thought we were already completely honest with one another, after all, we were getting married in two weeks, right? Also, she was super protective about her therapy sessions, didn't really talk about them. I have never met her therapist.

So to be invited there all of a sudden seemed a little out of place to me. The day comes, and I go there. But out of self preservation, I had my phone opened and recording any audio. My fiance was already there. I had to wait 20 minutes before I was invited in.

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The therapist greets me and shakes my hand. We have small talk. She tells me I am not at all the way my fiance described me. I think she is trying to compliment me. Then she looks at my fiance and tells her 'this may be harder than we thought.'

That absolutely weirded me out. But I am a calm and collected individual, and I don't react, just kept that dumb smile on my face we all have in awkward situations. So the therapist starts talking. Has a small speech I don't care to repeat.

My fiance takes my hand as the therapist starts telling me that 'we live in a modern world, and that my fiance wants us to have a non-conventional marriage moving forward.' I smile, I am not sure what the hell that means, through my mind I am thinking she wants to talk how she will not be a slave to her husband, she will not sacrifice her work life, etc.

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Modern woman and girl power and all that. Nope, she is actually talking about how once we get married, she wants to be free to sleep with other men.. The other non-traditional type of marriage. I forgot it's 2018.. But she loves me a lot, and would not be comfortable with me having the same 'benefits'.

Because she would be too heart broken knowing that I find other women attractive and that one of them could steal me from her. So I let them finish talking. They were very fluent, and they got more confident talking, probably empowered by my lack of reaction, and because I wasn't saying anything.

This was definitely something they have rehearsed. I then asked the therapist if she is licensed. This, by her reaction, was not what she expected to be the first thing coming out of my mouth. She said yes. So I told her to explain to my fiance why we will not be getting married any more, and why we will not continue being a couple starting immediately.. I wished them good luck, and left the office.

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Now, I want to report the therapist. I am not sure if I have to report her to the clinic, or is there a board that supervises therapists? I don't think their planning and attempt to corner me is professional conduct, and I want her to pay for the misconduct. That 'session' did not sit well with me.

To be clear, there would have been no positive outcome to this talk my fiance and the therapist had with me. Even if she wanted a completely open marriage, where I could sleep with other women, the outcome from my part would have been the same. That's is not a marriage, that is a sham.

It also dawns on me, she might have cheated on me. Now that I have this clarity of mind, certain things don't match up.. So I was a fool anyway.. I listened to the recording, and I still can't believe what was said there.. Anyway, I called off the wedding.

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I am a very easy going guy, there are no fights with me because I am not seeking them. There are no conflicts, enemies, because my life is guided on principle and common sense. That might have given my ex the impression I will be easy to walk over, like a door mat, but she is an i**ot for thinking that.

Having listened to the recording a few times, I am confident the therapist recognized I am not how my fiance must have described me in their sessions.. hence the 'this may be harder than we thought.'. Now that the wedding is no longer happening, people are starting to ask questions I am not comfortable answering.. How do I navigate this sea?

I am sure my ex is doing damage control, but I have the recording, and if she goes too far off the path, I will not shy letting people know what she wanted us to talk about. But my parents and family also want answers, and I am not sure what BS to tell them.

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I don't want them to think I am an i**ot for allowing my ex to get to this point where she was so confident that she straight out told me she wants to f**k other dudes.. She is also blowing my phone, my best friend's phone, my brother's phone.

'We can work on this', 'I didn't understand what they were telling me in the therapy session', 'she will do anything to fix this', 'it was the therapist's idea, she was against it', etc. Last cry of a dying siren. All her cries fall on deaf ears, and I am the owner of said ears..

We were also working to get a loan to buy a house, but I cancelled everything.. I basically erased any ties we had financially, or otherwise. Her current plea is that in therapy she exposed her insecurities about our s**ual history. I had considerably more partners than her, and the therapist came up with the idea we should 'level the field'.

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Regardless of the truth of this, that therapist gets reported once I figure out where to do it, and what to say. This post is mostly a rant, but I would also want to know how would you handle the questions of friends and family.

My Ex is certainly doing her own damage control, and I don't want to be a he said / she said. I do have the recording, and am wondering if I should send it to the interested parties.. My ex doesn't know I have the recording.

A wedding on the horizon should spark joy, not ultimatums. The OP’s fiancée blindsided him with a one-sided open marriage proposal, framed as “modern” but reeking of selfishness. Her claim that she’d be heartbroken if he explored other partners, while demanding her own freedom, reveals a double standard. The therapist’s role—seemingly rehearsed—raises ethical questions, though reporting may be tricky without clear misconduct.

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This scenario reflects broader issues in relationship dynamics. A 2023 study found 15% of couples explore non-monogamy, but mutual consent is key (Journal of Sex Research). The fiancée’s unilateral demand violates trust, a cornerstone of marriage. Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, notes, “Trust is built through mutual respect, not ultimatums” (Gottman Institute).

The OP’s decision to end the relationship was sound, protecting his values. To handle questions, he can say, “We had irreconcilable differences about marriage expectations,” keeping it vague but honest. Sharing the recording risks legal issues—consulting a lawyer is wise, as some Redditors suggested. Moving forward, reflecting on red flags, like her secrecy about therapy, can guide healthier future relationships.

Check out how the community responded:

The Reddit posse rolled in like a truth squad, dishing out praise for the OP’s composure and shade for the fiancée’s audacity. It was like a virtual bonfire, with users roasting her hypocrisy and the therapist’s shady vibes. Here’s their raw take:

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[Reddit User] − Now that the wedding is no longer happening, people are starting to ask questions I am not comfortable answering. “I recently found out my fiancée was not interested in having a monogamous relationship. That was a dealbreaker for me.”. Good on you for not being a doormat. If she is going around spreading lies, consult a lawyer before you do anything with the recording. Make sure you have it backed up.

UrThotdestroyed − Please update us op this is some top tier justice.

VoyeuristicDiogenes − Just wanted to add to what you probably already know. That therapist is s**t and you were spot on by asking if she was even licensed lol. That whole situation was ridiculous and you handled yourself well. Very respectable. Stay strong and take care if yourself. Edit: after some comments below and thinking about it more I don't believe the therapist is at fault in this.

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I think the Fiancee was probably unreasonable or wouldn't budge on the subject of getting to sleep around and the therapist helped force a conversation that the fiancee otherwise wouldnt have been able to do on her own because ultimately she knew it was out of line and ridiculous. Perhaps the therapist helped OP dodge a bullet by getting it out in the open and knew the suggestion would break up their relationship

nola_mike − Not gonna lie man, it sounds to me like she likely has someone in mind that she wants to s**ew and felt bad about it. Her way of legitimizing her desire is to have the therapist agree and help her try to convince you to approve of the deal.

sisterfunkhaus − I would actually be honest. I would say, 'She wanted an open marriage, and I did not.' That's a fact. It's not bad mouthing someone. It's nothing for you to be embarrassed about. She's the dolt here, not you. You certainly can't trust your ex ever again.

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Also, you aren't going to have much luck going after/reporting the therapist. Therapists help people rehearse asking for what they want all of time. There is no code of conduct that says therapist can't help people ask for an open marriage. People are allowed to ask for what they want from a partner, and to get help doing so.

You don't have to agree with it or do it. Your ex realized she screwed up and is trying to deflect blame onto the therapist. It seems like you also are looking to blame the therapist, instead of your ex. Your ex is solely to blame here. You don't have a leg to stand on in reporting it to anyone.

lubnag − I can't help but wonder what prompted you to start recording, especially if it happened before the big reveal.

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PancakeTheDragon − Wanting an open marriage is one thing, but only having it open on her side? Wtf? What kind of mental gymnastics has she practised in order to not see the hypocrisy in that?

[Reddit User] − Can you provide an update after you figure out how to two other and what happened once you speak to her?

Wondrous_Fairy − But she loves me a lot, and would not be comfortable with me having the same 'benefits'. The actual f**king f**k. That's not a f**king open marriage, that's her using you as a g**damn meal ticket. Bullet dodged at the last possible second.

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You really should take a moment to consider just how incredibly lucky you were here. No really, take a moment to reflect upon what a complete and utter nightmare this marriage would have been. And, then compose yourself and tell everyone the truth, that your would-be wife,

and her incredibly crooked therapist tried to talk you into accepting what is pretty much you becoming her cuckold. NOT her husband. Edit: Also, considering how utterly narcissistic she seems to be, I would advise you to get an STD test, you really have no idea if this just the tip of an iceberg of cheating.

FaRmErX2000 − oh man what would I pay to hear that recording

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Redditors cheered the OP’s swift exit, calling the fiancée’s plan a shameless power grab. Some urged caution with the recording, while others suspected cheating. But do their fiery opinions capture the full truth, or just fan the drama? One thing’s clear: this therapy session bombshell has everyone talking.

This story is a stark reminder that love requires mutual respect, not manipulative deals. The OP dodged a lifetime of regret by walking away, but now faces a chorus of curious voices. Balancing honesty with privacy is his next challenge. Have you ever had to explain a tough breakup without spilling all the tea? What would you do with a recording that could set the record straight? Share your thoughts below.

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