Fiance (36F) didn’t want to sign a prenup with me (33M), got inheritance, now wants prenup.

Picture a cozy dinner, candlelight flickering, where a couple toasts to their future, love binding them through life’s twists. For a 33-year-old man, this dream felt real with his fiancée of four years, their bond weathered but strong. Yet, beneath the glow, a financial storm brewed. He sought a prenup to shield his hard-earned assets, scarred from a past divorce’s sting. She balked, seeing it as a betrayal of their shared life, and he relented, trusting love would prevail.

Then, an unexpected inheritance landed in her lap—$800,000, a fortune that flipped her stance. Suddenly, she demanded a prenup to guard her windfall, but refused his, leaving him stunned. What was once a shared vision now felt like a ledger of distrust. Money, meant to secure their future, had become a wedge, exposing cracks in their foundation.

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‘Fiance (36F) didn’t want to sign a prenup with me (33M), got inheritance, now wants prenup.’

A little background here is that I make around $250k a year, my fiance makes around $65k a year. We've both been divorced. I asked for a prenup protecting my existing assets: two rental properties (worth around $400k together), my retirement account, my house which I live, existing savings account, and just sentimental things.

I offered to pay for a lawyer for her, and make anything earned AFTER the wedding fair game in a divorce split. In my previous divorce my ex took a lot that I had before we ever even met each other, and took a lot of things with sentimental value just to hurt me. I floated the idea of a prenup and she was not OK with it.

It hurt her feelings, and she said I was planning for a divorce if I want a prenup. She had this idea that when we marry everything becomes ours. We've been dating for 4 years, and had very few bumps so I don't see a super high risk of divorce but I do acknowledge it's there. Anyways, I love her, and I said sure.

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Fast forward a couple months, her grandmother abruptly died (wasn't expected. Grandmother was quite healthy before. Had a heart attack). Apparently the grandmother left the entire estate to her; Worth roughly $800k.

Now, the tables have turned and she wants a prenup protecting ***these assets from me which I was fine with, but she doesn't want to sign my prenup in return for that.*** Her reasoning is that her grandmother wouldn't have wanted her wealth to 'leave her direct family and that there's a reason it was left all to me and not my siblings or parents'.

And that the prenup must not have been important to me because I threw out the idea after minimal pushback... I'm at a loss here. In one regard I'm glad we had prenup discussions because it brought out these sides of us.

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But I'm really wondering if this 4-year relationship that has been full of nothing but love and support for each other until now is even salvageable. She's not willing to budge on her OWN prenup like I was, and I'm finding this whole situation very frustrating.

Money can spark love’s brightest flames or its fiercest fights, and this couple’s prenup saga proves it. The man’s initial request was pragmatic, shaped by a divorce that left him burned. Protecting pre-marital assets like properties and savings reflects caution, not disloyalty. His fiancée’s refusal, rooted in a romanticized view of shared ownership, clashed with his need for security, yet he compromised, prioritizing her feelings over his fears.

Her inheritance changed the game. Demanding a prenup for her $800,000 while dismissing his request smacks of hypocrisy. Dr. Jane Greer, a relationship therapist, notes, “Financial disagreements often reveal deeper values; fairness in handling money builds trust.” Her stance—protecting her wealth while claiming his assets as “ours”—suggests a double standard, undermining equality. This isn’t just about dollars; it’s about mutual respect.

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The broader issue lies in navigating financial power shifts. Her justification, tied to her grandmother’s wishes, feels selective when she ignores his past losses. Prenups, common among second marriages, protect both parties, with 15% of U.S. couples signing them, per a 2020 survey. A fair prenup would honor both their assets, fostering trust. Her inflexibility hints at entitlement, which could erode their bond further.

For solutions, they need open dialogue, perhaps with a mediator, to align their values. A mutual prenup, protecting his properties and her inheritance, could balance their interests. If she refuses, he might reconsider the marriage, as trust is hard to rebuild on uneven ground. Couples thrive when financial plans reflect shared commitment, not one-sided gains.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit users didn’t mince words, dishing out sharp takes with a dash of wit. Most called her stance hypocritical, arguing she wants his wealth accessible but hers untouchable. Some saw her initial prenup refusal as strategic, only shifting when her own assets were at stake.

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Others urged caution, suggesting her actions reveal deeper financial motives. These bold opinions, while dramatic, echo a core truth: fairness in love means meeting halfway, not cherry-picking terms. Reddit’s chorus leans hard into skepticism, but it highlights the need for trust in any marriage.

Herald_Of_Nothing − Nope, this is blatant hypocrisy. I almost never say this, but it is line-in-the-sand time. Either you both sign, or no one does. That’s that.

Designer-Memory − Maybe highlight the fact that she said that a prenup meant that there was a plan for divorce. Ask her how your request is different from if you planned on keeping your wealth and assets in your 'direct family' too. A compromise will definitely be needed from you fiancé. Don't budge on your prenup. It's reasonable.

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She should understand where you're coming from, especially since she seems to feel the same about protecting important assets. If there's hostility because of the prenups, it's definitely worth waiting until it's resolved before moving ahead with the wedding.

rs_plays_ac − She is showing her colors when it comes to finances OP. What’s yours is hers and what’s hers is also hers.

TheSoundOfKek − OP, you ought to run for the hills. The ONLY reason she didn't want to sign up was because she was 'marrying into money', at least more than what she had.

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NOW that she's got a real piece of action, she's rather defensive that her s**t could be up for grabs too if things get messy.. She's a GOLD DIGGER. Use that golden spade of yours and DIG OUT A HOLE for you.

justlookinthnx − I’d tell her nope, we either both protect our assets or neither of us do. But the fact that she thinks she can keep hers and get yours should have you seriously reconsidering marrying this gold digger.

KPHLFA1 − So she wants your s**t but now that she’s gotten $$$ how dare you get the chance to have it for grabs. Dude, I wouldn’t even get close to marrying anyone ever again especially after seeing this. I’d reconsider this big time before making the leap into something you may regret if things go sour.

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kelhar417 − Definitely check with a lawyer for their opinion on this. As from a civil and social point of view. This is not okay.

BenBurch1 − Dude, d**p her and leave. And maybe don't propose ever again.

sizzlingtofu − She’s not willing to do one that she gets her inheritance and you get your existing assets?!! Honestly that’s really sketchy and maybe her reluctance to sign your prenup was with malice if she’s suddenly acting this way.

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I think that’s a more than reasonable fair split. You keep yours, she keeps hers. Sign it and move on. You’ve both been divorced before so should understand that anything can happen and it’s better to plan ahead.

[Reddit User] − Ah yes, the old 'What's yours is mine, and what's mine is my own.'. Well, now you know. She was just a gold-digger all along.

This tale of prenups and flipped priorities shows how quickly money can test love’s strength. The man’s willingness to drop his prenup for harmony contrasts with his fiancée’s rigid defense of her inheritance, leaving their future on shaky ground. Trust, once dented, needs honest work to mend, especially when fairness feels lopsided. Love can weather storms, but only if both partners row the boat.

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Financial clashes touch every couple, revealing what matters most. Have you faced a moment where money strained your relationship? Share your story—how did you find balance, or what lessons did you learn? Your insights might light the way for others navigating their own choppy waters.

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