Dealership ripped me (32F) off, boyfriend (37M) doesn’t care. How can I get him to care?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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The air was thick with frustration as Sarah, a 32-year-old with a trusty old sedan, drove home from a dealership that had just slapped her with a $300 oil change bill. She’d followed her boyfriend Mark’s advice, trusting his car obsession would steer her right. But instead of support, she got a stinging dismissal: he called it a “stupidity tax” for her lack of car know-how. The betrayal cut deeper than the overpriced bill, leaving her questioning not just the dealership but their three-year relationship.

What happens when the person you rely on sides with the ones who wronged you? Sarah’s story, shared on Reddit, isn’t just about a shady mechanic—it’s about trust, respect, and the sting of being called “stupid” by someone you love. As her tale unfolds, it sparks a broader conversation about partnership and standing up for those you care about.

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‘Dealership ripped me (32F) off, boyfriend (37M) doesn’t care. How can I get him to care?’

I just had the most frustrating moment with my boyfriend of 3 years. So much so that I am re-considering the relationship as a whole. He just doesn't seem to understand why what he said was wrong. Boyfriend (37M) is very passionate about cars and takes his cars to a very specific dealership. I meanwhile know almost nothing about cars besides basic maintenance.

I used to get my oil changed regularly at a chain oil place, which my boyfriend found out about and told me why they were so bad (something about their lifts can damage the frame?) And told me to stop going there and instead start doing my maintenance at the dealership where he takes his cars.

Time for an oil change, I brought it in to his recommended dealership, and long story short, they tried to charge me $300 for the oil change and gave me a check list of urgent things I needed done to my car (new spark plugs, all new tires, all new brakes pads and rotors, all new filters) which totalled over $2000.

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I negotiated at the payment window for a better deal on the oil change, because I was used to paying more like $50, but they explained how my car needed a special type of filter and they used all synthetic oil and that the $300 was correct. I got home, told my boyfriend what they charged me and showed him the list of repairs they suggested I come back for.

He said that was insane and that his oil changes there were $40. We compared my bill to his, and they used the same amount of oil and same number of hours of labor, its just his labor per hour was $50 and mine was $400. He also checked my tires, brakes and spark plugs and said none of them needed replacing. I was so pissed.

I told him I suspected they were overcharging me based on the fact that im a woman. He replied 'I dont think thats the case, its just a stupidity tax. They saw that you didn't know anything about cars and charged you accordingly'. I told him I'm never taking my car there again, and urged him to do the same, but he said no that I could do whatever I wanted but that he planned to continue taking all his cars there.

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This lead to an argument, I asked if he was OK supporting a business that took advantage of people. He said it didn't matter to him since he was car smart and knew enough not to be ripped off. I told him that I felt insulted that he indirectly called me stupid, and his reply was 'well, do you know anything about cars?

No, so you kind of are stupid in terms of cars. You can fix that by learning more about cars'. I feel insulted that he called me stupid, and upset that he took the side of the dealership, upset that he won't admit that this was a sexist move, and just overall I hated his response. How do I navigate this?

Sarah’s dealership disaster reveals a deeper issue: trust in relationships and fairness in business. When her boyfriend dismissed her concerns, it wasn’t just about cars—it was about respect. Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman notes, “Trust is built in very small moments, when one partner responds to another’s needs with care” (source: Gottman Institute). Mark’s choice to belittle Sarah instead of supporting her eroded that trust, turning a car issue into a relational fracture.

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The dealership’s actions also raise red flags. A 2021 study by Consumer Reports found women are often quoted higher prices for auto repairs, with 65% of female respondents reporting perceived overcharges (source: Consumer Reports). Sarah’s $300 oil change, compared to Mark’s $40, suggests she may have faced such bias. Mark’s refusal to acknowledge this possibility dismisses her valid concerns.

This situation reflects broader issues of gender dynamics and partnership. When one partner faces injustice, the other’s response matters. Mark’s “stupidity tax” comment shifts blame to Sarah, ignoring systemic issues like predatory pricing. Instead, he could’ve helped her confront the dealership, strengthening their bond.

Advice: Sarah should address Mark’s dismissive attitude directly, explaining how his words hurt. Filing a complaint with the Better Business Bureau (source: BBB) could address the dealership’s practices. Couples counseling might help rebuild trust, but Mark must show willingness to listen.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of fiery and funny takes on Sarah’s saga. Here’s a peek at the community’s candid reactions:

[Reddit User] − 'So it's the car-stupidity tax? OK, you're so smart about cars, let's go there together right now, and *you* can talk them into charging me the right price, and get them to refund me the difference.'. EDIT: Something bad happened to you and his response was to negg you. ('You were dumb. You need me.') That's a form of abuse.

chado5727 − So he called you stupid, told you that the dealership that super overcharged you was right and that you deserve it. He sounds very loving. I'd leave him for calling me stupid. Tell him you're done being stupid and as your first official act as a smart person, is to d**p him.

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generalright − Take both bills in and ask them to clarify the discrepancy. Your boyfriend is a f**king tool, he thinks he’s special for knowing about cars? I know about cars, it’s nothing special and I would help my wife with anything car related because that’s my area of expertise.

Your boyfriend is just a stupid ogre who doesn’t deserve you and isn’t going out of his way to help you because he doesn’t care about you. My wife always books our vacations because she’s good at it, she doesn’t tell me to do my own and doesn’t call me stupid. I handle her car stuff and don’t call her stupid for relying on me. Why even be in a relationship with someone that treats you worse than a stranger would?

zero_dr00l − A man who takes his cars to a ***dealership*** for service (unless it's warranty service) doesn't know half as much about cars as he thinks he does.

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woman_thorned − This is not how someone who loves you acts.

Jerkwater76 − Start implementing a pussy stupidity tax.

mfruitfly − Throw this man out the window. So by his logic, if he goes to the doctor and they perform an unnecessary surgery, well oh well for him, he should have educated himself on medicine. Oh and you don't have to show him an inch of sympathy or compassion,

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cause it's on him to know everything. I can't imagine being in a relationship with someone who wouldn't be upset I was taken advantage of, and would basically just tell me I'm dumb and he is fine in his life, so good luck out there.

ambercrayon − D**p the boyfriend. Send both bills to your state attorney general.

Jen5872 − Implement the stupid boyfriend eviction.. Also file a complaint with the Better Business Bureau..

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No-Experience5083 − What a moron. I would think, that as a man, he'd be taking those receipts to the dealership and asking them why the price discrepancy and sticking up for you, HIS WOMAN, over some total strangers. Honestly, that'd be worth dumping him over to me. Especially if there's no kids or finances involved.

These Redditors brought the heat, but do their calls to “dump him” or “file complaints” hold up in real life? One thing’s clear: the internet’s got Sarah’s back.

Sarah’s story leaves us wondering: where’s the line between a partner’s bluntness and betrayal? Her boyfriend’s refusal to stand by her turned a bad oil change into a relationship crossroads. It’s a reminder that love means showing up, especially when the world’s unfair. What would you do if your partner dismissed your concerns like this? Drop your thoughts below—have you ever faced a “stupidity tax” moment, in cars or life?

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