Am I Being Manipulated After Agreeing to My Girlfriend’s FFM Threesome Suggestion?

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A casual evening took a sharp turn when a young man’s girlfriend dropped a bombshell: a suggestion for a threesome. Initially hesitant, he agreed after her persistent enthusiasm, only to face her tearful accusations of not rejecting her firmly enough. What started as an attempt to connect spiraled into a breakup, leaving him reeling and questioning her motives.

This Reddit story grips with its raw emotion and messy truths about trust. It’s not just drama—it’s a window into the pain of unspoken expectations and manipulation. Readers, get ready to dive into a tale that sparks debate: when does openness cross into betrayal? The stakes feel real, and the lessons hit hard, making this a story that’s tough to shake.

‘Am I Being Manipulated After Agreeing to My Girlfriend’s FFM Threesome Suggestion?’

Hello all,. A few days ago my[25M] girlfriend[29] suggested that we should have a threesome with another girl. Knowing her, I disagreed at first. She kept on insisting and I gave into the idea. I cherished the idea and we started talking about how we are going to get this done.

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A few hours later she blocked me on messaging and was not responding to my calls. Then when I finally reached her she was crying. She seemed broken. She told me that I didn't deny her strong enough.

She told me that had I ever insisted on having a threesome with another guy, she would have denied it. She was mad and we broke up because I didn't deny her strongly. Basically, I feel as if she set up a trap and is now giving me a hard time for it... I feel that I am being manipulated. Dear reddit, please help me out. Thanks.

Navigating relationship tests can feel like walking a tightrope. In this story, a young man’s willingness to explore his girlfriend’s suggestion spiraled into accusations and a breakup, highlighting the perils of unclear communication.

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The girlfriend’s insistence on a threesome, followed by her outrage when he agreed, suggests a deliberate test of loyalty. Her reaction—crying and blaming him for not rejecting her strongly—points to manipulative behavior. From her perspective, she may have sought reassurance of his commitment, but her approach lacked transparency, leaving him blindsided. This clash reveals a core issue: one partner’s unvoiced expectations clashing with another’s trust.

Manipulation in relationships often stems from insecurity or poor communication. According to a 2023 study by the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 60% of couples report experiencing “relational uncertainty,” which can fuel behaviors like testing a partner’s loyalty (soucre). Such tactics erode trust, creating cycles of doubt and conflict. This story reflects a common struggle: balancing individual desires with mutual respect.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Trust is built in very small moments, which I call ‘sliding door’ moments. Choosing to respond with honesty and vulnerability strengthens a relationship” (soucre). In this case, the girlfriend’s test was a missed opportunity for openness. Instead of fostering trust, her actions pushed her partner away, validating his decision to end the relationship. Gottman’s perspective underscores that healthy relationships thrive on direct communication, not hidden agendas.

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If faced with a partner’s unexpected proposal, pause and clarify intentions. Ask open-ended questions like, “What does this mean to you?” to uncover underlying motives. If manipulation is suspected, set boundaries and prioritize self-respect. Couples therapy or honest dialogue can help, but as this story shows, walking away is sometimes the healthiest choice.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit hive mind didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of wit and wisdom. Here’s what they had to say about this tangled tale:

exquisiterags − “Honey, please please do this with me, I really want to” “Why can’t you read my mind? I was obviously lying and testing you but I’m too insecure to actually talk about my feelings in a healthy manner and I blame you for not knowing”. What a basket case. Get out while you can.

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Grim_Truths_With_Luv − **Am I being manipulated?**. Yup. The actual word choice is 'lied to.'

SocalPizza − You *are* being manipulated. She can't communicate like an adult at 29; she's never going to be able to.. Run.. I cannot stress this strongly enough. Run.

belgiantwatwaffles − She was mad and we broke up. Good. Now block her everywhere.

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Magic-EndeR − You are right. Either she is playing some sick mind game or she needs therapy, either way dont play into her hand and take your distance

[Reddit User] − So she tried to sell an idea to you, only to get mad because after multiple attempts you took the bait? She is either mentally unwell, or... Actually, There's no or. Anybody who behaves like that as a grown woman has issues. Don't buy into the games. If she wants to be upset let her be upset. You did nothing wrong or offensive in the slightest.

CuckyMcCuckerCuck − She was mad and we broke up because I didn't deny her strongly.. She did you a favor. Block her on everything.

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_random_username69 − Stay broken up with her, she is crazy. She is the one that brought it up, she persisted after you said no, and she even talked to you about planning it. Of course you are being manipulated lol. You did nothing wrong here. Please dont get back together with her, she is not mature at all.

kupo_kupo_wark − I don't know how long you've been together, but this is manipulative behavior. She's almost 30! Playing tricks on a partner is *never* ok and frankly, you dodged a bullet if she thinks that it's ok to deceive and lie to someone she cares about in an effort to 'test' their fidelity or some garbage. I'm sorry that happened to you, you were just trying to be a good boyfriend who's open-minded to your partner's ideas. Good for you, you deserve much better than that!

[Reddit User] − Yes. Your girlfriend was being an immature brat and putting out stupid 'tests' to see how you would react.. Don't date people like that. They're toxic. At least this happened sooner than later.

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These spicy takes from Reddit cut to the chase, but do they capture the full picture? Maybe there’s more to her side—or maybe not.

This Reddit saga leaves us pondering the fine line between trust and trickery. The young man’s escape from a manipulative trap is a win for self-respect, but it’s a bittersweet lesson in love’s complexities. Have you ever faced a relationship test that flipped the script? Share your stories below—what would you do if caught in a similar bind? Let’s keep the conversation going and unpack these wild dynamics together!

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