Boyfriend Opens Up Relationship to Test-Drive a Coworker, Instantly Regrets It When She Gets 500 Matches

We all know that moment when a carefully laid plan spectacularly backfires. For one thirty-seven-year-old woman, a seemingly progressive conversation about exploring non-monogamy turned into a shocking revelation of her partner’s hidden agenda.

After three years of a comfortable, independent dynamic, her boyfriend suddenly proposed opening their relationship. While initially skeptical, she embraced the new rules—only to discover that his desire for freedom was actually a failed plot to leave her for a younger colleague. As her dating app notifications exploded with hundreds of matches, his romantic prospects flatlined, leading to an explosive confrontation over a shattered ego.

Curious how this modern dating experiment unraveled? The full story is right below.

Boyfriend Opens Up Relationship to Test-Drive a Coworker, Instantly Regrets It When She Gets 500 Matches

Bf mad at me because he opened up relationship and got no dates. AITA for how i responded?

Before the dramatic pivot, their dynamic was comfortably predictable—a solid foundation that made his sudden request all the more jarring.

Me and my boyfriend (both 37) have been dating for just over 3 years. Prior to this, I was single for 8 years. Overall it's been a healthy relationship. We...

However, something that startled me, was back about 6 months ago, him saying that he wanted to open the relationship up, meaning going on dates and sleeping with other women....

I honestly was a little skeptical at first, but after doing some research and having time to think, I agreed. He had told me that if at any point I...

The rules he established to protect his own privacy ultimately shielded him from knowing just how spectacularly she was thriving in the very scenario he created.

I signed up to a dating app, within a few days I had 500+ likes, and it's been pretty steady since. So I started matching with people, texting and arranging...

I quite like the fact that everything is non-committal, so even though I was skeptical at first, I am enjoying the open relationship! As decided from before, I hadn't told...

He saw my notifications and then proceeded to go through my phone and read messages, including going through the dating app and whatnot. To say he was angry was an...

ADVERTISEMENT

He then openly told me that he wanted to see if it would work with her so he could ultimately leave me for her. However, she didn't want him and...

He demanded we instantly close the relationship up and I told him that maybe we should just end things or at least take a break. He was outraged and called...

The psychological forces at play here reveal a textbook case of a partner trying to secure a new safety net before letting go of the old one.

ADVERTISEMENT

In the relationship world, this maneuver is often referred to as “monkey-branching.” According to relationship psychology, monkey-branching occurs when someone holds onto their current partner while actively seeking out a replacement, usually driven by a profound fear of being single. Her boyfriend didn’t actually want a genuine ethical non-monogamy dynamic; he wanted a risk-free trial period with his coworker.

When his backup plan spectacularly failed, the rules he established suddenly became a massive threat. His ego couldn’t handle the stark contrast between OP’s thriving dating life and his own string of rejections. Instead of processing his embarrassment, he projected his failure onto her through anger and a desperate attempt to regain control.

For individuals facing a similar breach of trust, the most practical move is to recognize the behavior for what it is. Taking a step back to evaluate personal boundaries and seeking individual counseling can help clarify whether the foundation is worth repairing or if it is time to move on entirely.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ultimately, navigating the fallout of a one-sided open relationship experiment requires clear boundaries and honest self-reflection. Do you think she should cut ties completely, or is there room for a mediated conversation? And how would you handle a partner changing the rules mid-game? Share your thoughts below!

Community Opinions

Reddit came in hot—nearly unanimous in their support for OP, with many finding sweet justice in the boyfriend's spectacular failure.

u/Know_the_rules
You should join the rest of the population in not dating him as well.

ADVERTISEMENT

u/LadyofSwanLake Dude’s like a monkey swinging between vines. He won’t let go of one till he’s got a firm grip on the next. NTA, dump him the way he’d dump...

u/Competitive-Bat-43 He admitted that he was stringing you along to see if this younger woman wanted him. If she had wanted him he would have broken up with you for...

He was outraged and called me names It sounds like you were right to break up with him. "He then openly told me that he wanted to see if it...

ADVERTISEMENT

Look, "let's open the relationship" is almost never about exploration or trust. It's about someone wanting a green light to cheat. They already have someone specific in mind and want...

He didn't want openness, he wanted a backup plan. Too bad for him his backup plan flopped. Sounds like you're the only one who came out of this "open relationship"...

u/Trailsya LMAO, men wanting to open the relationship so they could sleep around, but then get angry when the GF/wife gets more opportunities are beyond delusional. Of course the women...

ADVERTISEMENT

u/__wookie__ Damn, you want to stay with the man that everyone else seems to know is a loser, even the woman he was trying to leave you for? Why would...

u/Putrid-Double359
Another example of “play stupid games, win stupid prizes “

u/jrm1102 NTA - well this backfired on him. Im all for open relationships if this is what works for a couple but it seems he was just trying to sleep...

ADVERTISEMENT

u/AnarchyAutumn Girl drop his ass. Regardless of anything else going on - him looking through your phone like that is a violation of trust and your privacy. It's an abusive...

u/Far-Independent4740 Love when open relationships backfire for whoever asked for it in the first place. Like, what were you expecting - to find a deeper love for your partner in...

u/mudshark698
I would have dumped him the second he suggested opening the relationship. Personally, I'm into monogamy, but to each their own.

ADVERTISEMENT

u/Available_Bag_6759
Oh isn’t it great when things just work out?
Dump this loser and keep dating.
I hope you find a great guy who appreciates you
NTA

u/EzAeMy
Break up with him. He was going to do it to you.

u/sammi711 My ex did something like this... then when I got sp many matches he lost it too.. told me it's easy for girls to get matches because men just...

ADVERTISEMENT

A few readers pointed out the stark reality that his actions were essentially premeditated cheating disguised as progressive dating.

This story proves that trying to rig the game usually ends with you playing yourself. The boyfriend’s attempt to secure a backup plan while keeping his current relationship on standby blew up in the most poetic way possible.

Do you think OP should have seen the red flags earlier, or did she handle his hypocrisy perfectly? And if your partner suddenly asked to open the relationship, how would you react?

ADVERTISEMENT

Drop your thoughts in the comments below!

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *