Am I Wrong For wanting to leave my girlfriend?

A 19-year-old man recently shared a deeply personal dilemma on a social network, asking whether he is wrong for considering leaving the girlfriend he has been with since early adolescence. Their relationship began when they were only 13, making her his first experience with romance, affection, and intimacy. Because of that history, the idea of walking away feels incredibly difficult for him.

Over the years, however, several challenges have complicated their relationship. His girlfriend struggles with misophonia, a condition that makes certain sounds unbearable, and her reactions have sometimes involved yelling or hitting him when everyday noises trigger her. At the same time, he continues to feel hurt about something that happened during a short break in their relationship. Torn between love, loyalty, and personal well-being, he turned to others online for advice about what to do next.

‘Am I Wrong For wanting to leave my girlfriend?’

The young man described a relationship that began in early adolescence and shaped much of his life.

So me (19m) and this girl (19f) have been going out since we were 13, and before that in 6th grade. She was my first kiss, hug and intimacy with...

Over time, a difficult condition created repeated tension and emotional strain between them.

I think this is why it makes it so hard for me. But anyways, she has misophonia, so for the last 5 years I’ve had to put up with getting...

any time my mouth makes a noise at any time unless there’s so much white noise she can’t hear it. Like no matter what I do, even if my breathing...

And I’ve tried to learn how to work around it because I understand it’s a mental condition but I feel like she’s gotta put in effort to stop too.

Another painful moment during a short break still lingers in his mind today.

There was also one point when we were taking a break from eachother at one point and while we were apart she fucked another guy. We were only apart for...

Which I know she didn’t I know we weren’t together but it hurts so bad to know that she’s shared that side of herself with another man so easily after...

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I may just be selfish and insecure, and there’s definitely details left out but comment ideas on how to get over the thought of that’s and how to deal with...

After reading feedback from others, he admitted he may already know the difficult answer.

Edit: after reading a lot of the comments, I agree I should probably break up with her, but the thing is I love her so so much even with all...

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and she loves me a lot and we both have talked about wanting kids and a house. Also I love her family they’re all so kind to me and I...

Also she has major anxiety and I’m afraid that if I do break up with her she could end up hurting herself or end up severely depressed and I super...

When people start dating very young, their relationship can become intertwined with identity, routines, and future expectations. In this case, the young man associates much of his romantic experience with a single partner, which naturally increases the fear of loss and uncertainty about the future. That emotional attachment can make it difficult to evaluate the relationship objectively, especially when both partners have invested years into it.

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At the same time, recurring conflict around misophonia introduces a challenging dynamic. Misophonia is a legitimate sensory condition, and individuals who experience it can feel intense distress when hearing certain sounds. However, managing such a condition typically involves personal coping strategies, professional guidance, or environmental adjustments. When reactions escalate into yelling or physical responses toward a partner, it raises concerns about how conflict is handled within the relationship.

Another important factor is the emotional impact of events that happened during their break. Even if boundaries were technically respected, lingering hurt can continue to influence trust and comfort. When unresolved feelings combine with long-term stressors, partners may begin questioning whether the relationship still supports their well-being. From a broader social perspective, this situation highlights how young couples often face the difficult transition from early romance to adult compatibility.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Many users supported the poster and encouraged him to prioritize his own well-being.

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Brief-Cartographer11 − Time to move on. First loves are an amazing part of growing up. It sounds like you're ready for a relationship where the other person can help you...

Relationships are a constant work. I remember my first love and it was hard to break up, but it was time.

It will be painful now, but you have to take care of your emotional and physical needs before you can take care of someone else. It will be better in...

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[Reddit User] − Noise canceling headphones rather than violence. She needs to make changes to herself so that she can exist in this world. She can’t beat other people for...

TheSonghaiPresident − Stick a fork in it that relationship is over

sevenpixieoverlords − The thing about romantic relationships is that they are mostly or entirely voluntary. If someone’s smile irks me, I am allowed to break up.

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In fact, I don’t need a reason beyond “I’m just not feeling it. ” You don’t have to give a reason for breaking up. It’s okay for you to simply...

Also, I don’t know really anything about misophonia, but I’m skeptical about her hitting you in a “non-abusive” way when you indicate that it is unwelcome and upsetting for you.

Likewise for being yelled at. How does a medical condition justify even mild abuse? You are perfectly within your rights to end the relationship.

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You don’t have to explain yourself beyond “I don’t feel that way about you anymore. ” 13 year olds can’t make binding vows. That’s not a thing.

WeirdPinkHair − Any physical violence in a relationship, no matter the causr, is abuse. There is never an excuse. That's lack of self control. If anger leads to violence, it's...

It's not your problem to deal with. You can leave. As far as her sleeping with someone else on a break, that feeling is not going to go away. You're...

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Others shared more balanced perspectives while still acknowledging the poster’s concerns.

AtheneSchmidt − Not wrong. OP, my(38f) younger sister(36f) has had the same sensory issues, misophonia, since she was about 9. Sounds, especially things like chewing, drive her buggy!

I'm her sister, not someone she is in love with, and I can still say that she has never hit me because of it. Your GF needs to see someone,...

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Hemiak − NW. I loved my first gf, stayed longer than I should’ve for sure. You learn something from each relationship, so having more than one can teach you a...

Spending some time alone to really figure out what you like is helpful too. It’s hard to break off a long term relationship.

Sunk cost fallacy is a tough thing to overcome. Feeling like you’ve spent so much time you can’t just walk away. But a gf or even fiancé is not a...

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Even with a spouse, people change, or they wait to show you their true side. Yea, relationships are work, and no couple are perfect the entire stretch. That said, some...

Physical abuse is definitely on that list. She has a condition and that’s tough. But her physical reaction is 100% on her, and shouldn’t be put up with. You’re young....

Maybe spend a little time and write down what you loved, and what you won’t put up with again. Keep all that in mind when you start dating again. Eventually...

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SushiGuacDNA − You are allowed to leave your girlfriend for almost any reason, especially at age 19. Fine reasons would include, "I want to have experience with more women before...

Your reasons are much, much stronger than that. So time to get out! I know it's scary because she's been your one-and-only since age 13, but it's time for you...

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A few commenters used humor to lighten the discussion slightly.

[Reddit User] − I have misophonia and you know what I've never done? Hit or yelled at someone for triggering it. Your gf is abusive.

Appropriate_Ice_7507 − God damn that’s tough to handle. I would have left like 6 years ago

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This story highlights the emotional complexity that can come with long-term relationships that begin very early in life. Deep attachment, shared history, and concern for a partner’s well-being can make even serious relationship problems feel impossible to confront directly.

At the same time, many readers believe that personal growth and mutual respect are essential for any healthy partnership. When those elements feel uncertain, difficult conversations often become unavoidable. What would you do in a similar situation? Should long shared history outweigh ongoing conflict, or is it sometimes healthier to move forward separately?

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