Am I Wrong for sleeping in the same bed with my sister?

A close-knit family tradition of siblings sharing a bed sparked a firestorm in a man’s marriage. Growing up sleeping alongside his three older sisters, a 47-year-old man saw nothing unusual in sharing a king-size bed with his sister Jo during a family visit, a practice rooted in their tight bond and limited space.

When he casually mentioned this to his wife, her explosive reaction—feeling betrayed as if he’d cheated—unleashed years of tension, worsened by Jo’s current crisis caring for her stroke-stricken husband. As the man supports his suicidal sister, his wife’s tantrums over their calls strain their marriage. Is this tradition taboo, or is her jealousy unwarranted?

‘Am I Wrong for sleeping in the same bed with my sister?’

Family background and sibling bond:

I(47M) am the youngest of my siblings. I have 3 elder sisters( Jane 56, Sarah 54 and Jo 53) . We grew up in close knit loving family and since...

Growing up, all of us slept together in 1 big bed. When I reached puberty, I started sleeping in a seperate bed. After my sisters got married, I was lucky...

Whenever me and my sisters happened to be together at my parents place, we sometimes slept in the same bed(we always used separate blankets). I never thought of it as...

Sleeping arrangement during family visit:

Me and my wife have been married for 14 years and we have a great relationship. My wife doesn't have a good relationship with one of my sisters, Jo. me...

This brings me to the night in question. 3 years back me and my sisters came down to see my parents as my dad is suffering from dementia. My 2...

Next day, while talking to my wife I mentioned about the sleeping arrangement and all hell broke loose. She felt betrayed and extremely hurt. She was extremely upset as if...

Though she never insinuated that me and Jo had anything s**ual( Even writing this makes me disgusted and nauseous. None of us siblings had any s**ual attraction to each other,...

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Needless to say, both of them had a bad relationship after this incident, but talked formally once in a while. Whenever I talked to Jo on the phone(generally once a...

Sister’s crisis and wife’s continued anger:

5 months back my BIL had traumatic brain injury due to a massive stroke and has lost all bodily functions. Jo is devastated and is devotedly nursing my BIL, from...

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But she is totally broken and had talked about sucide a few times with me. I talk to her twice a week to give her moral support and strength to...

She stopped all contact with my wife after my BIL had the stroke.. my wife again threw a huge angry fit today after I had a phone call with Jo.....

Dilemma and updates with wife’s perspective:

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Is it unnatural for siblings to sleep together after they have grown up? Am I wrong for sleeping with my sister in the same bed? Also, I want to be...

Sometimes I feel like I should stop all contact with my sister, as I see no other way to placate my wife.. (My family, including my BILs have never had...

Edit : thank you everyone for your perspective. The bed we slept on was a king size bed. I promised my wife that I would never do this again and...

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My wife wanted me to add her side- she tried to talk to my sister a couple of times and my sister just shut her out. This makes her feel...

Edit 2 : I talk to my sister anywhere from 10 to 20 mins. I do it during a time when I am free and not during dinner time, so...

Edit 3 my wife says that my sister is crying and being emotional so that she can be close to me and get my sympathy. BTW my mom talks to...

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Edit 4 my wife has a younger brother (3 years gap). Thier relationship went sour and bitter after he got married. My wife and his wife dont see eye to...

Edit 5 my wife cried her eyes out yesterday after reading the comments. I haven't seen her cry this much ever. She apologized to me regarding her comment about my...

The man’s practice of sharing a bed with his sister Jo, rooted in familial tradition, is not inherently wrong, but his wife’s intense reaction signals deeper insecurities, possibly tied to her strained sibling relationships, as noted in her own family history. Cultural norms vary, and while bed-sharing among adult siblings may seem unusual to some, it lacks any inappropriate intent here, especially with separate blankets and family acceptance.

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The wife’s ongoing anger, including tantrums over phone calls, suggests unresolved jealousy or trust issues, potentially exacerbated by her own sibling estrangement, per Journal of Family Psychology. Her accusation of Jo’s manipulative crying lacks empathy, particularly given Jo’s caregiving crisis and suicidal thoughts, which demand support.

The man’s commitment to stop bed-sharing and his efforts to support Jo are reasonable, but his wife’s refusal to engage with Jo’s trauma risks isolating him from his family. Her recent apology shows progress, but without addressing root causes, tensions may persist.

Advice: Pursue couples therapy to explore the wife’s insecurities and rebuild trust. Maintain support for Jo, setting boundaries with the wife to ensure calls are non-disruptive. Encourage the wife to reconnect with Jo empathetically, possibly through a joint call, to mend their rift. Foster open dialogue to align family values and expectations.

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Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The online community overwhelmingly supports the man, viewing the wife’s reaction as unreasonable and urging therapy to address her jealousy.

Bunny_OHara − "Sometimes I feel like I should stop all contact with my sister, as I see no other way to placate my wife. " Or hear me out; maybe...

Your wife needs therapy, becasue it's pretty gross to be jealous and vindictive towards a desperate woman who is talking suicide becasue her husband need 24/7 care.

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And that she (and others here) are so bent out of shape over sharing the same piece of furniture with a siblings is really, really weird. Being in the same...

Civil_Sea1162 − NTA. Sleeping in the same bed is not inappropriate, especially since it’s your sibling. I would say that if this was a female friend, yes that would be...

funwall3748 − Your wife is being completely unreasonable. She doesn't want to speak to Jo and now No is dealing with a horrific situation and had removed the external stress...

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you're wife is now upset that she won't talk to her?Is there anything she IS hap py with? ? As for sleeping in the same bed, when me and my...

It's not weird, it makes sense given the space it sounds like there is available. Plus you're siblings, if people think there's some weird sual/kink thing involved that says more...

KuzSmile4204 − WTF is wrong with your wife? ! She sound like a ncase, how can she insinuate iest? How can she be this jealous and insecure? And now you...

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So your wife is not only jealous but also lacks basic human empathy? ! She needs therapy. Her behavior is disgusting. Is it odd to bunk together with an adult...

It’s the same thing when hophobic men refuse to share a bed with another man because apparently all self control is lost when a bed is shared and everything turns...

Mysterious-Travel-79 − Your wife is insecure for no reason & is not supportive at all. She really thinks that little of you? She needs to get over herself.

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Some emphasized the normality of sibling bed-sharing:

Western-Tangelo6281 − NTA and grew up in family were we all shared beds when staying at family houses. my sister and I (f)slept I the same bed growing up till...

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I’m sure some ppl might find it weird but depends on family. I personal think it create strong bonds that’s hard to break. So I don’t blame you for still...

Ok_Boysenberry3843 − NTA, sleeping in the same bed with a sibling isn’t inherently weird and it seems like your wife is the one being unreasonable here.

Big_Necessary_7812 − NTA, I don’t think there is anything wrong with siblings sharing a bed. If you were two same gender siblings I don’t think this would even be an...

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Based on her behavior surrounding your phone calls with your sister, she is jealous of your relationship. Does she have siblings? I think you need to try and dig into...

Some urged therapy for the wife’s insecurities:

mephivision − NTA, obviously Your wife is clearly unreasonable (and is lowkey kind of creepy that she would think anything of the situation). Would she feel the same if your...

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A sibling is a sibling, regardless of their s**. My grandma sometimes visits my uncle and he only has one room. Guess what they do? Yes, sleep in the same...

Also, the fact that she did not let go of an event that happened three years ago & the fact that she throws tantrums every time you speak to your...

ilyed − Unusual? Yes. Wrong? No! Your wife needs to chill the @$&# out. 1000% believable there is nothing going on between siblings, GROSS! I can’t imagine your wife’s reaction...

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Which-Marzipan5047 − Okay so. I have never heard of a sleeping arrangement like this. Never ever. However, it seriously doesn't sound that weird to me. It just feels normal despite...

So I have no idea what your wife is on to to begin with. Now onto the recent developments. She seriously needs to STFU about it now. Your sister just...

and needing to take care of it (not saying he's burden, just that grief in a vegetative state is way harder than in a clean death), just thinking about it...

What your sister is going through is unimaginable, and she's clearly struggling. That gal, the bitterness, the cruelty of your wife of getting mad at this woman for talking to...

Some highlighted the wife’s lack of empathy for Jo’s crisis:

EmbarrassedChemist12 − Your wife even gets upset when your niece hugs you? That's extremely unhinged behavior. NTA

[Reddit User] − Bud, your wife has some serious problems. She’s essentially mad that you get along too well with your sister. That is crazy jealous and frankly, as an...

Some shared personal experiences of family dynamics:

alwayseverlovingyou − So I had a gf react some kind of way about my sharing a bed with my older sister - I’m a female lesbian. I stopped sharing a...

She died and I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself or my ex for influencing how I show my sibling love. I think part of that situation was that my...

Your loving family could be beyond your wife’s understanding but DO NOT let her influence your relationship with your sister any further. It’s not ok and not normal or healthy...

Some noted cultural or familial differences in perception:

[Reddit User] − Unless there are some details missing, your wife sounds a bit unhinged.

This family tradition of sibling bed-sharing, once a symbol of love, has ignited a marital rift, exposing clashing perspectives on boundaries and loyalty. The man’s commitment to supporting his grieving sister Jo collides with his wife’s persistent jealousy, despite her recent apology.

The online community backs him, urging therapy to address her insecurities and empathy for Jo’s crisis. As they navigate this emotional storm, their next steps will test their marriage. What do you think of his actions? How would you handle such family tensions?

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