AIW for refusing to give up my “reserved” reading spot at a café just because someone else wanted it?

Every morning, a cozy independent café hums with the clink of cups and the rustle of pages, where a 26-year-old man settles into his cherished corner table by the window. It’s his sanctuary, where coffee and a good book kickstart the day. But one morning, a stranger’s bold request to claim “his” spot turned this quiet ritual into an awkward standoff, leaving the man questioning his stance.

This isn’t just about a table. It’s a lively clash of personal habits and unwritten rules in shared spaces, spiced with the sting of being called selfish. The man’s Reddit tale resonates with anyone who’s staked a claim on a favorite spot, only to face unexpected pushback. It’s a story of standing firm in the face of social pressure.

‘AIW for refusing to give up my “reserved” reading spot at a café just because someone else wanted it?’

I (26M) visit this small independent café near my apartment almost every morning before work. It's quiet, has great coffee, and most importantly, has this perfect little corner table by the window where I always sit to read for about an hour. I’ve been doing this for nearly a year, and the baristas even joke that it’s “my” spot.

This morning, I got my coffee, sat down, and pulled out my book when this guy (maybe late 30s?) came up and asked if I could move because he *always* sits there and I took his seat. I was a little confused because I’d never seen him there before, so I just said, “Oh, I’m sorry, but I sit here every morning too.”

He sighed and told me he works from home and *this* is his usual workspace, so he was hoping I’d be “courteous enough” to let him have it. At this point, I felt kinda awkward but stood my ground and said, “Sorry, but I got here first.”

He rolled his eyes, muttered something about “selfish people,” and sat at another table. The barista later told me he does come in sometimes but not as often as I do. Now I feel kinda guilty—was I being a jerk by not just letting him have it for today?

This café conundrum is a perfect snapshot of navigating personal space in public settings. The man’s attachment to his corner table reflects a natural human tendency to find comfort in routine. The stranger’s request, though bold, hints at his own sense of entitlement, but calling the man “selfish” for refusing escalates a simple ask into a social jab.

Public spaces thrive on unspoken rules, often boiling down to “first come, first served.” The stranger’s assumption that his occasional visits trump the man’s daily ritual ignores this norm. Dr. Deborah Tannen, a communication expert, notes, “Conflicts in shared spaces often stem from mismatched expectations about fairness.” Here, the stranger’s pushiness clashes with the man’s reasonable claim to the seat he arrived at first.

For others facing similar spats, a polite but firm response—like offering to share or suggesting another spot—can defuse tension. The man’s choice to hold his ground was fair, especially since the barista confirmed his regular presence.

Check out how the community responded:

The Reddit community overwhelmingly supports the man’s decision to keep his café spot, viewing the stranger’s request as entitled and out of line. Commenters emphasize that public spaces operate on a “first come, first served” basis, and the stranger’s claim to the table, despite less frequent visits, doesn’t hold water.

Many find it ironic that the stranger labeled the man “selfish” while demanding the seat for himself, with some humorously suggesting the stranger needed a lesson in sharing. The consensus is clear: the man’s daily ritual gave him every right to stay put, and the stranger’s attitude was the real misstep.

yakkerswasneverhere − F**k that guy. Enjoy your coffee.

AmorinIsAmor − Why are you feeling guilty? Cause you didnt inconvenience yourself for other dude's convenience?

PsychologicalHalf422 −

plaignard − Obviously not wrong. It’s a public space, unless the place has specific rules, first come first serve. There might be an argument if you were taking up an 8 person table and a group of 8 came in, but you were alone being asked to move for another person. Makes no sense.. He is obviously the selfish one here.

seidinove − Not wrong. Ah, another variation of being asked to switch seats on an airplane.

YouSayWotNow − Why would you feel guilty? He clearly DOESN'T always sit there since this is the first time he's ever encountered you in that spot and you go almost every morning. And, not being rude, but having a preferred spot in a coffee shop does NOT give any ownership of said spot whatsoever.. He clearly wasn't taught to share, as a child!

Puzzleheaded_Gear622 − Nobody is owed a spot just because they sit in a business regularly. That being said he had a lot of nerve asking you to move. It's obviously first come first serve. I don't agree with the other commenters that said you were both entitled because you didn't expect anybody to move and you would have sat somewhere else I'm sure.

clawsterbunny − Weird how you’re selfish for using the seat but he’s not selfish for asking you to move so HE could use the seat

Reyndear − INFO: If you had come in one morning and he (or someone else) was already sitting in that spot, would you have asked them to move because you always sit there?

k_x_sp − I would have said

This café showdown reminds us that public spaces are a delicate dance of personal comfort and mutual respect. The man’s refusal to yield his spot, backed by daily habit and fairness, highlights the power of standing firm.

Have you ever clashed over a favorite spot in a public place? How did you handle it? Drop your stories below and let’s brew some thoughts on navigating shared spaces!

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