AITH for telling our roommate his kids can’t come here anymore, then giving him notice when he refused?

Imagine a home that once promised cozy gatherings and mutual respect, suddenly turning into a battleground of chaos—complete with raw eggs, melted ice cream, and a scent reminiscent of sour milk. That’s exactly what happened when a 31-year-old husband and his wife decided they had had enough of their roommate Adam’s mismanagement.

Adam, an old friend who moved in because of his housing issues and inability to accommodate his own children, soon became the unwitting host of a disaster. His three kids—ages 7, 4, and 1—ran amok in a house not designed for little ones, leaving behind a trail of mess and mayhem that pushed the couple to the breaking point.

Over time, what started as a compassionate gesture to help out a friend evolved into an ordeal involving unsupervised children causing havoc. From raw eggs strewn about to a clogged laundry tub with pee, the couple’s home turned into a hazardous playground for Adam’s kids. When Adam refused to rein in the chaos, the couple set clear boundaries and gave him a 60-day notice to move out. Want the full scoop on how a friendly arrangement spiraled into a major household fiasco? Dive into the original story below!

‘AITH for telling our roommate his kids can’t come here anymore, then giving him notice when he refused?’

When unexpected household dynamics spiral into chaos, it often reveals deeper issues about boundaries, responsibility, and communication. Dr. Karen Mitchell, a family and relationship therapist, observes, “Shared living arrangements can work wonders when everyone respects the rules, but when those boundaries are consistently crossed, it’s essential to intervene before the situation escalates.” (Learn more at Psychology Today).

Dr. Mitchell explains that the OP’s reaction is a textbook example of setting healthy boundaries—an act that many individuals hesitate to take for fear of being labeled unkind. “In any shared space, particularly a home, each person’s responsibility must be clear. If one party repeatedly disregards these responsibilities, it’s not just a breach of etiquette—it becomes a safety and health hazard,” she continues.

Dr. Mitchell highlights that living with children requires extra precautions, especially when the home is not designed to be childproof. “If a home isn’t built with the safety of children in mind, allowing them unsupervised access can lead to accidents and damage. The decision to lock certain areas or even restrict access altogether is a practical measure—not a punishment,” she advises.

In the case at hand, the couple’s choice to physically restrict Adam’s children from accessing parts of the house, such as using a baby gate, was a necessary step to protect their belongings and maintain a livable environment. Moreover, Dr. Mitchell notes that when a roommate or partner fails to acknowledge or address repeated issues, it can signal a deeper incompatibility.

“Sometimes, a living arrangement becomes untenable not because of a single incident, but because of a pattern of neglect and disrespect for shared responsibilities. In such cases, setting an ultimatum is not only justified—it’s necessary for the well-being of all parties involved,” she states. Dr. Mitchell also draws attention to the psychological toll on the homeowners.

“Continuous exposure to chaos and disarray in one’s personal space can lead to chronic stress, which has long-term health implications. It’s important for individuals to feel safe and in control of their environment,” she adds. Her expert perspective reinforces that the OP’s decision to give notice to the roommate was a rational, even essential, measure to preserve their quality of life. Ultimately, ensuring that living spaces are maintained and that boundaries are respected is crucial for sustaining healthy relationships, whether with family, friends, or roommates.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Many commenters expressed strong support, labeling Adam as irresponsible and applauding the couple for finally enforcing their house rules. They argued that if Adam can’t keep his kids under control, it’s unfair to subject others to the mess and potential hazards.

This living arrangement debacle brings into sharp focus the importance of setting clear boundaries and holding roommates accountable for their responsibilities. While some may argue that children are just kids, the reality is that their unsupervised behavior has turned a once-peaceful home into a hazardous environment.

Do you think the couple’s decision to evict their roommate was justified, or could there have been another way to handle the situation? How would you manage similar conflicts in your own home? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s discuss how to balance compassion with self-respect in shared living spaces.