AITAH for wanting nothing to do with my kids and exwife after 2 years of false allegations?

For many parents, protecting their children means enduring stress without complaint. But what happens when the threat feels constant and personal, and the accusations come from the people you’re trying to protect? One father shared his story on social media after two years of investigations, arrests, and court dates left him emotionally depleted.

He wasn’t asking how to fight back anymore. He was asking whether it made him a terrible person to want distance from his ex-wife and children once everything was settled. Readers were split between sympathy and concern, with some urging legal protection and others questioning the deeper family dynamics behind such serious claims.

AITAH for wanting nothing to do with my kids and exwife after 2 years of false allegations?

The situation exploded late one night, without warning, turning his life upside down overnight

Last year my kids (9F and 7M) ran away late at night/early in the morning. When found by some city officials, they claimed I kicked them out of the house....

I told my side of the story from what I knew and they had my (now ex) wife tell her side while keeping us separated. The cops claim our stories...

I bail myself out that same day and go live with my parents for a while. I'm dealing with court, scared that I'm going back to jail or prison and...

A little over a month goes by and I get a phone call to have a meeting with the CPS woman in charge of our case.

My daughter ended up making more allegations against me that did not make any sense to the CPS people and when they asked her questions, she was unable to give...

Weeks later, the narrative collapsed under questioning

My son ended up breaking first and admitting the whole thing was made up and that my daughter was the one to orchestrate everything. This reveal led to the charges...

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For a moment, he believed things were finally stabilizing

For a while I thought things were good. We were on our way to fix things. I kept trying to get all of us into therapy, both individually and family....

My ex kept dragging her feet and it never went anywhere. After some other situations with being displaced due to a natural disaster and me trying to get things packed...

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I get told by my ex she wants a divorce so now I'm having to rush and try to find a place to live, which I did luckily. I actually...

Then, just as he was trying to rebuild, another accusation surfaced

On the 14th of June I get served an Emergency Protection Order by the county sheriff's office. I'm told it's because I allegedly hit my son and gave him a...

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He had been taken to the emergency room by my ex on the 14th but this event allegedly happened on the 10th. I had told my ex that due to...

adding up to over $2,000 that I wasn't going to be able to pay certain bills this month but that I'll get them caught up as soon as I can...

I signed for the deposit on the 11th and the kids had been with her while I did this paperwork and there was no issue.

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On the same morning I had taken my kids to the park so they could play and recorded videos of them being silly and having fun.

I was talking to my therapist this week and I told her what was going on and how I felt about being around my ex or the children.

Emotionally drained and fearful of prison, he reached his breaking point

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It's two years in a row of false allegations. I want nothing to do with any of them now. I'll pay child support gladly, I had an agreement with my...

After all of this, AITAH for not wanting to be around the children and my ex after everything gets settled and found out to be lies again??

False allegations involving children can be devastating, even when cleared. Legal systems move slowly, while emotional damage happens instantly. For this father, repeated investigations created a constant state of fear, making emotional withdrawal feel like self-preservation rather than abandonment.

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From another angle, children rarely invent complex accusations without influence or distress. Whether manipulation or misunderstanding is involved, the priority should be safety, structure, and professional oversight. Walking away completely may protect one adult, but it can also leave children without a stabilizing parent.

Family therapist Dr. Joshua Coleman has said, “Parents sometimes disengage emotionally not because they don’t care, but because caring has become psychologically dangerous.” That distinction matters here.

The most realistic path forward likely involves legal boundaries, supervised contact, and communication strictly through court-approved channels. Emotional distance does not have to mean permanent absence. With time, documentation, and therapy, relationships can sometimes be rebuilt safely, but only when risk is managed first.

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Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Many readers immediately sided with the father, arguing that survival had to come before ideals

Odd_Welcome7940 − NTA. .. I am one of the loudest fight for your kids advocates ever. It takes disasters for me to think a parent should distance themselves. You sir,...

My big suspicion? How sure are you that your wife(ex) isn't the one orchestrating all of this? It seems extremely unlikely that with out her orchestrating this that both your...

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I think you get the best lawyer you possibly can and go for broke. You either get 100% uninhibited custody etc or walking away may be your only option. If...

Big_lt − Um id begin to really push the false claim to police that you hit your son at the supermarket. I want to claim it's the ex and if...

Plastic-Machine-9537 − NTA for now I don't think it's safe for you to see the kids unsupervised, for your own safety i mean.

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I'm pretty dubious about kids coming up with this stuff so like others here I'd have to suspect your wife has a part to play.

Not seeing them would also be understandable but try to keep an open mind down the road with the kids atleast.

They are far too young to understand their actions or the consequences and are likely to have been coerced into doing what they have done.

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Fragrant-Reserve4832 − My guess is mom is doing these things and trying to blame dad after the fact when she realises there will be questions

ArmyGuyinSunland − Get a lawyer. Get an agreement to include child support set up. Ensure that the kids are in counseling.

Ensure to have supervised visitation. Don’t cut the kids out completely. You do not know how things will look in 10 years.

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Others took a more cautious stance, acknowledging his pain while urging responsibility

Careless-Run-3815 − There is so much missing info. .. why? What's the motivation for the kids to run away in the night/morning? They are 9 & 7, something else is...

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Kids this age don't just up and hit the road in the middle of the night. Cops don't just automatically haul you to jail. You can't get a protection order...

DonkeyTechnical3087 − It’s hard not to notice that you keep referring to “my side of the story” while leaving out key details. .. like how your son ended up in...

That kind of omission makes it sound like there’s more to the story than you’re willing to admit. Also, saying you "want nothing to do with your kids"? Adults are...

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especially when things get difficult. Wanting to walk away completely, even after everything is "settled," doesn’t sound like someone who’s putting their children's well-being first.

No one’s denying that false allegations can be devastating, but this situation seems far more complicated than you’re presenting it.

Instead of focusing only on how hurt YOU feel, maybe it’s worth asking how your children ended up in such a painful place in the first place.

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Silvanus350 − So, uh, why did all these things happen in your life, dude? You have given literally zero context for a long list of events.

* Why did your kids run away? Why did they lie about running away? * Why did you get divorced when you thought it was going OK? * Why did...

* Why did the police report and the actual story (10th vs. 14th) conflict? Who lied? * Why do you (seemingly) not have any custody agreement for your children? The...

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Justexhausted_61 − Not the AH , before you end up in jail you need to stop this. Let her go to court to file for support. Ask for supervised visation,...

Everything you do needs to be through the courts I would say don’t walk away from the kids, but protect yourself.

sfrancisch5842 − I how did your son get his concussion?

Some comments leaned into blunt realism or dark humor to cut the tension

stallion8426 − NTA. It sounds like you don't have an actual custody agreement in place. Get one. They will court order therapy for the daughter as well because she clearly...

Communicate with your ex only through a court approved parenting app. These apps share chat records with the court so that they can not be deleted or hidden by either...

mustang19671967 − Get a lawyer and beg friends and family for money . Sleep In car if you need to.

Have him subpoena stores and therapist records where kids admit they lied and maybe PI. You wife is crazy and kids need psychotherapy and be away from her

Returningdarkness − I posted this before I clocked in at work so let me give some more details. My ex wife and I were still together when the kids ran...

My side of the story during that was that I came home from work, talked with the kids and wife, gave the kids their melatonin gummies before sending them to...

after which i took a shower before making me something for dinner and cleaning up afterwards. By this Point my ex was asleep already, and so were the kids.

When CPS and the mental health professionals were talking to my daughter after everything got cleared, she was saying the voices she was hearing were telling her to do things.

The mental health professionals said this sounded too rehearsed to them. It later got revealed that she was watching videos on youtube about kids pranking their parents and she wanted...

She had access to youtube due to tablets that my MIL had given the kids for christmas back in 2023, which i disagreed with but i was ignored. At the...

Onto this year, my son went to the ER on the 14th because he had, and i quote from the paperwork I was given, dizziness, lightheaded feeling, and a nosebleed.

I am not sure how he received a concussion. Nothing is finished with this situation yet and nothing has been decided in terms of child support.

We go back to court next month to revisit this after the investigation has finished. On the day i received the EPO I talked to a state trooper and told...

showed the videos of my kids playing, and showed receipts on my banking app from when we were at walmart and at what time we were there.

As of right now I haven't heard anything else. I have already been interviewed by CPS and informed them of the same things I told the state trooper because it...

This time i firmly believe that my ex is behind this due to my telling her some of the bills would have to wait because i'm having to pay approximately...

put down deposits and pay first and last month rent. I haven't seen my kids since i dropped them off to my grandparents on the afternoon of the 11th.

I have not made a decision about staying away from my kids, but I do plan on talking to a lawyer in the next couple of days and I'm looking...

I'll try to answer any other questions that I can but I move tomorrow and I have some last minute things to pack up and place in my car and...

Thank you for all of your insights and words and thoughts and prayers, it means a whole lot to me that I can't put into words.

[Reddit User] − You aren’t the a__hole regarding your wife, but your kids are being manipulated by her and they didn’t learn how act like this out of no where.

[Reddit User] − Did they say where this comes from? I mean why did your daughter say those things? It’s concerning. I’m not even thinking your ex told her

but maybe she has experienced something traumatic? Where are they getting this concussion thing from? No I don’t think you are crazy to walk away, or an a__hole.

Divorce is hard enough, I’m sure the majority of people have felt like they just wanted to leave and not come back.

I have and I’m a woman with a kids. Take your time. I would personally be concerned where this is all coming from.

This story struck a nerve because it lives in the uncomfortable space between parental duty and self-preservation. While many sympathized with the father’s exhaustion, others worried about the long-term impact on his children. There are no easy answers when trust is gone and fear replaces connection. If protecting yourself means stepping back, where should the line be drawn? What would you do in his position?

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