AITAH for waiting out my prenup before divorcing my cheating wife?

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A sun-soaked anniversary vacation masked a storm brewing in one man’s heart. For ten years, he believed in his marriage, unaware his wife’s heart belonged to another—her high school flame, never left behind. When the truth of her infidelity crashed into his world two years ago, he didn’t rage or flee. Instead, he played the long game, waiting out a prenup that tethered his financial future, filing for divorce the day it lapsed.

This isn’t just a tale of betrayal; it’s a chess match of patience and pain. With kids to shield and a high-profile wife to outmaneuver, he chose silence over scandal, keeping her secret while securing his share. Readers dive into a saga where love sours, loyalty frays, and strategy reigns, left wondering: was his calculated move justice or just cold?

‘AITAH for waiting out my prenup before divorcing my cheating wife?’

My wife settled for me. I didn't know it when I married her but I do now. She was in love with her high school boyfriend that her parents hated. She was with him all through university. Her parents finally told her that they would cut her off financially if she stayed with him. We met soon afterwards and I fell in love. She did not. Once again, this was a surprise to me.

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We had a prenup that her parents insisted on. I was in it for the long haul so I had no problem with it. I basically got nothing if we divorced before we were married ten years. After that it was an even split as long as I was not the cause. She was banging her old boyfriend our entire marriage. I found out after we were married for eight years. I was angry and depressed.

I had spent eight years supporting her and her career. She has a much better paying job than I do. It is high profile and she deals with our government a lot. I decided that I could handle two years of infidelity. I had already done eight unknowingly. I filed for divorce on the day after our tenth anniversary. I let her parents pay for our vacation.

I didn't do anything dirty like send the evidence I had to her parents. I just had a lawyer draft claim for divorce. Included was the evidence that the prenup had lapsed and our holdings were to be split. She said that I blindsided her after our holiday away. She doesn't understand why I would do it. I said that I just don't think we are compatible any more.

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I am prepared to go nuclear if I have to. But I don't want our kids, yes they are mine I checked, knowing why. I am keeping the evidence I have on her boyfriend in my pocket. I can blow up his marriage and make her parents pissed at her if I absolutely must. I just prefer to end things with me in a decent financial position to take care of the kids.. Am I the a**hole for what I did?

This husband’s story is a masterclass in restraint, but it’s also a heartbreak sandwich. Discovering an eight-year affair is a gut-punch; waiting two more years to act is next-level grit. His wife’s double life—high-profile career by day, high school lover by night—shows a calculated betrayal. Yet, his silence protected their kids, even as her “blindsided” claim reeks of entitlement.

Infidelity isn’t rare—studies suggest 20% of marriages face it (source: ifstudies.org). But timing a divorce for financial gain? That’s a gray area. The prenup’s ten-year clause created a trap, and his patience flipped it. Dr. Shirley Glass, a renowned psychologist, wrote, “Betrayal shatters trust, but rebuilding or leaving requires clarity of purpose” (source: psychologytoday.com). His purpose was clear: secure his kids’ future without airing dirty laundry.

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Legally, he’s solid, but courts may frown on the timing, as Reddit noted. Advice? Share the truth with her privately to keep her from spinning a victim narrative. If she escalates, use evidence strategically with legal counsel.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s got opinions hotter than a summer grill—sharp, bold, and ready to serve. Here’s what the community tossed into the ring on this husband’s move.

bassmasta1990 − Even if you don't want to go nuclear which I understand. I would still inform her that you know and have the evidence of her infidelity. She definitely seems like the type of person who would spin the narrative to make you look bad and her knowing you have this will make that less likely to happen.

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Choice-Intention-926 − She’s going to tarnish your reputation and say you married her for money. You will look bad not only to your kids but to your friends and family too. Tell the truth about her cheating being the reason for the end of your marriage.

You don’t have to tell anyone when you found out, just tell them that you found out. Deny her the moral high ground. Because at the end of the day it’s her who married you for money.

FinalConsequence70 − NTA, but tell her why, tell her you have proof, and tell her you are willing to not tarnish her reputation with proof of her cheating as long as she keeps it civil and allows the divorce to go smoothly. Otherwise you run the risk of her blaming everything on you to your family, friends, kids, etc. DON'T LET HER MAKE YOU THE BAD GUY IN THIS SITUATION.

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Popular_Error3691 − Nta but she should be shown who she is. She's gonna make you the guilty one. Tell everyone now before she destroys you more.

ieya404 − INFO: 'She doesn't understand why I would do it. I said that I just don't think we are compatible any more.' - why didn't you just tell her that you'd discovered she was cheating, that you had evidence, did not see any reason for reconciliation, but that in the interests of your children wanted to keep things as amicable as possible? I don't see why you wouldn't want her to understand that it's entirely her actions which have led to this.

BeardManMichael − NTA but you made a poor choice. It wasn't smart to be passive about the divorce filing. You should have made her out to be the villain because that's what she is in this scenario.

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LeAdmin − Timing the divorce exactly one day after 10 years may be looked down upon in court. You probably should have held out just a few months longer to not be so obvious.

As is, it is pretty clear to anyone looking that you decided on divorcing earlier and delayed it because of the prenup. A judge may factor this into their decisions on splitting assets regardless of the terms of the prenup.

Sensitive-Ad-5406 − She said that I blindsided her 'I felt blindsided discovering you've been spreading wide for Douchebag. I'm not complaining, I just want what's rightfully mine. You were never that. Either amicable divorce or evidence sent to everyone. Your choice'. NTA I would go scorched earth

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Many_Ad_7138 − You need to share every little bit of evidence you have with your attorney, at the least. Let them decide what to do with it.

[Reddit User] − I came across a similar post a while ago 😐 is it deja vu?

These takes cut deep, but are they too quick to cheer or jeer? Is Reddit’s vibe missing the nuance of his choice?

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This husband’s quiet victory leaves us pondering: when does strategy cross into manipulation? His patience secured his kids’ future, but the shadow of his wife’s betrayal lingers. Would you wait out a prenup for justice, or spill the truth and risk the fallout? Share your thoughts—have you faced a betrayal where timing was everything? Let’s hash it out.

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