AITAH for telling my terminally ill sister that she couldn’t have my embryos, even after she revealed a devastating secret?

A cozy family dinner turned into a heart-wrenching showdown for a 31-year-old woman. Her younger sister, battling terminal cancer, dropped a bombshell: she wanted one of the woman’s frozen IVF embryos to give her partner a child and a piece of her legacy. The request hit hard—those embryos were the woman’s hope for motherhood after years of fertility struggles.

Then came the gut-punch. Her sister confessed to a drunken fling with the woman’s now-husband, long before their marriage. Reeling from betrayal and grief, the woman snapped, refusing the embryo and cutting ties. Was her reaction too harsh, or was the sister’s timing manipulative? Reddit’s buzzing with opinions, and this story’s raw emotion demands a closer look.

‘AITAH for telling my terminally ill sister that she couldn’t have my embryos, even after she revealed a devastating secret?‘

The sister’s request for an embryo is a deeply personal plea, but it’s a lot to ask. For the 31-year-old woman, those embryos are her future children, hard-won through IVF. Her sister, facing a terminal diagnosis, sees them as a way to live on through her partner’s family. Both women are hurting, but the sister’s confession about a past fling with the husband—before the couple was official—complicates things. The timing feels off, almost like a guilt-trip.

This clash mirrors wider debates about embryo donation. A 2018 American Society for Reproductive Medicine report notes that 60% of couples struggle with embryo decisions, citing emotional strain (source). The woman’s refusal is understandable—she’s protecting her dreams of motherhood, especially after feeling betrayed.

Dr. Elizabeth Grill, a reproductive psychologist, says, “Embryo decisions are intensely personal, often tied to identity and legacy” (source). Here, the woman’s anger reflects her need to guard her boundaries, while the sister’s desperation is rooted in mortality. The confession, though honest, may have been poorly timed, escalating the conflict.

For a path forward, the woman could try a calm, mediated talk to address the hurt and explore other ways to honor her sister’s wishes, like creating a memory book for her partner.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s got some spicy takes, dishing out sympathy and shade in equal measure. Here’s what the community had to say:

These hot takes are bold, but do they miss the mark on the sisters’ complex emotions?

This story’s a rollercoaster of grief, loyalty, and tough choices. The woman’s refusal protects her future family, but her sister’s dying wish lingers like an unresolved chord. Was she right to draw a hard line, or could compassion have softened the blow? Share your thoughts below—what would you do if a loved one’s request clashed with your deepest dreams?