AITAH for taking back a wedding gift I promised to the bride and groom after overhearing a conversation?

‘AITAH for taking back a wedding gift I promised to the bride and groom after overhearing a conversation?’

Hi reddit. Please excuse my lack of punctuation Grammar in any editing mistakes I made english is not my first language and I’m still learning. I 29 female has been in a friend group of 6 people including the couple 30 female and 31 male since we all went to law school a little while ago. We all live in the same city and regularly hang out and go to lunch together and it’s always a good time. Now to be Frank I normally for our get-togethers pay for all those in attendance. As I make well over Double what the others do and when it comes to my choice of restaurant we normally go to an expensive steakhouse that I absolutely love again out of the friend group 1. I am the only one who is child free 2. has the extra income 3. I feel obligated to pick up the tab as it is a part of my culture and how I was raised. My love language is gift giving and I always give extravagant gifts for special Occasions anniversaries birthday’s promotions baby showers and Above all else Wedding.
I absolutely love weddings and as much I am extra generous when it comes to my gifts the couple at hand love to travel but due to covid, inflation and a new baby They haven’t been able to do it as much. When I was first asked to Be a bridesmaid The couple Asked me to help them go over thier budget and see if I have some connections to help them cut some cost. Even with my Help They were not going to be able to Afford a honeymoon after the wedding. Or so i thought. So as my wedding gift I planned for them to visit Japan for a week food housing fun money and a Reputable babysitter for their 4 month old. I went to them with the gift and they were so happy and over the moon it was a very heartwarming experience and I was so happy I could do this for them.
(Detail to add: The airplane tickets and any other reservations were under my name until the week after thier wedding where i would transfer them over. I left an envelope with the itinerary and all of the information regarding the trip on the gift table at the wedding venue)
Well the wedding came, And while the bride was getting ready she told me she forgot her veil in her car and ask if I could go get it. I agreed and went to get it as I came back the door was cracked open but I overheard a conversation regarding me from the bride. I stood outside the door and listened. She went on to tell whoever she was on the phone with That I was i and I quote Gullible and That she tricked me into paying for their honeymoon. she began to account all of the gifts that they had received from me and plotting How to get me to give them even more expensive gifts. To say I was crushed would be an understatement. I stood there for a while feeling stupid and used. They took advantage of my generosity and my love for them and used it for their own selfish gain. But my sadness began to turn into rage. I went inside and began to rip a new one into the bride. She tried so hard to backtrack and I told her to go f*** herself and that I was taking back my gift and she could forget about going to japan. She tried to chase me as I walked down the hall and took the envelope from the gift table calling me a b**ch and a a**hole as i left.
It’s been over 4 months since this happened and when I explained this to my partner she called me an a****** as I could have silently cut the couple out Instead of reacting harshly on the bride’s wedding day. That I may Have ruined her wedding day and this will be her last memory of her wedding for years to come. Now I’ve been feeling kind of bad for my reaction so now I come to you reddit.. Am I the a****** for taking back my present after overhearing Conversation from the bride.
Just a little tibit of information I later found out that the person she was talking to on the phone was the groom.
UPDATE: when I posted this I didn’t expect the response that i would get I was hoping for maybe 2 people Give me some In sight to make sure I was not crazy.
1. For those of you saying the stories fake I feel bad for you. I’m sorry that my reality is just a story to you.
2. For those of you who are questioning why I’m funding other people’s lifestyles let me explain a bit further. My friends and I used to go to restaurants and each week we would take a turn to pick where we go to choose what restaurant knowing their situation I normally picked up the tab because I didn’t not like most places in my city and the places I did like was expensive.
3. For those that were calling me A sugar mama. Sorry I am not. I do not have a savior complex. I just came from a wealthy background And I make pretty well for myself in my field. With just me and my wife our expenses are not much so I’m able to save quite a lot and with that I have extra income.
4. For those who told me to evaluate my wife let me explain. My wife is the most unconfrontational person I’ve ever met. She is the kind of person who will silently block you and cut you out of Her life without so much as an explanation. To be completely clear she did agree with me and that’s an appropriate response. It is just not how she would have handled this situation.
5. My next point again I stated this in the beginning I am not a native english speaker most of this has to be translated from my native tongue and some of the words got misconstrued. One I did not put my name on the tickets i paid for the tickets and put their names on them I’m sorry that did not translate correctly the way i wish it did. Of course because it was on my credit card I just called the airport and cancel them.
6. Those who we’re asking what the rest of my friend groups Opinion Was the remaining 3 agreed with me and sided with me. Of course They were a bit upset with meThey were a bit upset with me because I did not tell them the day of the wedding. They have completely cut The couple in question out.
7. Did I learn a lesson? Yes I did. Going forward I will be less generous with those around me. I was raced in a very generous household where we gave out money to those in me quite Regularly. But that was through charities and such. I will start to focus on self-love And learning to have a backbone and not to spend so much money on other people that don’t deserve it. I will be more cautious and careful going forward and keeping my eye out for signs that people could be using me.
8. Thank you reddit and all of those who commented quite frankly I’m going to be deleting reddit off my phone so I will not be able to respond to any other comments. I hope I got the chunk of the questions out of the way. Thank you for all the kind words And personal testimonies to those who Have been in my shoes and how they got through it. And for those who decided to call my post fake Just because you do not believe it can work in reality please and kindly go f*** yourself.

Check out how the community responded:

Physical_Cause_6073 − NTA. They knew how generous you and and plotted to get a honeymoon. That’s despicable. She deserved to get chewed out on her wedding day.

armywifemumof5 − NTA and if your partner is ok with you being used get a new partner to

Ulquiorra1312 − I would have taken the veil too

Any-Expression2246 − *”I could have silently cut the couple out Instead of reacting harshly on the bride’s wedding day. That I may Have ruined her wedding day and this will be her last memory of her wedding for years to come.”*
If I found out I was being used like that, that would have been the only correct response, and I would have publicly outted her in the process as well. She ruined her own wedding day by being a horrible person

tetcheddistress − NTA, You are a kind and generous person. You are not waste paper to be used and tossed.
The bride was tactless and screwed up. Her feelings are irrelevant in this case. She and her fiance are users. Good riddance.

Happy_Plate4406 − NTA. They were using you!!! You caught them, I’m just happy you were able to cancel everything before they used it

SoMoistlyMoist − Your partner is wrong and also an a**hole for not supporting you. You are not the a**hole. I probably would have caused a bigger scene because I would have definitely stormed out announcing that I was taking back my gift because the Bride is a selfish manipulative lying b**ch.

RP2020-19 − Another fake story.. yes YTA for writing a fake story.

Bitter_Animator2514 − NTA
The bride and groom are n**ty people. If her wedding day was ruined good her own bs caused that. So glad you heard the truth you acted accordingly. Don’t let people use you

simsim_98 − NTA. But if your girlfriend feels that even after using you for so many years the couple deserved a silent cut out, then maybe she is also using you.
Just as a precaution try to rethink if you have been doing same monetary favours for your girlfriend too? Cos there is no way a sane person would feel that you ruined the selfish couple’s wedding day except someone who is selfish themselves.