AITAH for saying I wouldn’t allow my brother and his kids live with me when I buy my house?

After years of scrimping and saving for a down payment in Brooklyn, one person’s excitement about finally owning a home has turned into a family feud. Determined to invest in something that’s truly his, he’s always kept his big decisions under wraps—especially when he knows relatives might try to twist them to their benefit. When he finally shared his plans with his mom, he never imagined it would spark demands for free housing from his older brother, his sister-in-law, and the kids.

The situation quickly escalated when his brother, an electrician by trade, assumed that offering his skills meant he—and his family—could move into the new house. His blunt response, “In what world does doing electrical work entitle you to live in my house?” ignited a firestorm of family drama. Now, with his relatives calling him disgraceful and demanding he help out, he’s forced to stand his ground on the boundaries he’s painstakingly set for his future home.

‘AITAH for saying I wouldn’t allow my brother and his kids live with me when I buy my house?’

Building and owning a home is not only a financial milestone but also a personal sanctuary. When family members begin to assume entitlement over someone’s hard-earned achievement, the delicate balance between generosity and self-preservation can tip dangerously.

In this case, the protagonist has worked hard to save for his house—a place that symbolizes independence and long-term stability. His decision to refuse any cohabitation demands, even from close family members, is rooted in a desire to protect his future investment and maintain personal autonomy.

Family dynamics can be complex, especially when it comes to shared resources like housing. It’s not uncommon for relatives to expect favors or extensions of generosity, particularly when they’re in financial difficulty. However, the principle of personal property and individual responsibility remains paramount.

By setting clear boundaries, the homeowner is asserting that his sacrifices—skipping nights out, saving diligently—should not translate into a free ride for those who haven’t contributed to his goals. This stance is not about rejecting family support outright, but about drawing the line when it comes to using someone else’s hard work to ease personal burdens.

Furthermore, the expectation that family should automatically support each other financially can sometimes lead to unrealistic pressures and strained relationships. In many cultures, there’s a longstanding belief in “family first,” but that doesn’t necessarily mean one should bear the weight of everyone else’s problems.

When the lines blur between helping out and being taken advantage of, resentment can quickly build. It’s essential to balance compassion with clear communication about boundaries, ensuring that each person’s contributions—and sacrifices—are respected.

Clear communication is the cornerstone of healthy relationships, and this situation underscores its importance. When discussions about big decisions turn into demands for support, it’s a sign that expectations are misaligned. The homeowner’s firm stance is a reminder that while family ties are valuable, they should never come at the cost of one’s personal goals or financial stability. His refusal to let his hard work subsidize others’ lifestyles is not an act of selfishness, but a necessary measure to secure his future.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit community – candid and laced with humor. Many users applaud his firm boundary-setting, with comments emphasizing that personal property isn’t a communal resource. They argue that no one should expect to live in someone else’s home simply because they can offer a bit of help, and that each person needs to be responsible for their own housing situation.

In conclusion, this story highlights the challenges of maintaining personal boundaries amid family pressures. While the idea of “sticking together” is often touted, it shouldn’t come at the expense of one’s own financial and personal well-being. The protagonist’s stance is a powerful reminder that hard work and sacrifice should yield benefits for the individual, not become a free pass for others.

What do you think—should family always help each other at any cost, or is it sometimes necessary to say “no” to protect your own future? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.