AITAH For Refusing To Attend My Exes’ Wedding And Standing My Ground?

Sometimes the past isn’t as buried as we’d like it to be—especially when betrayal runs deep. For one individual, a painful incident from her childhood has continued to haunt her life. When she was very young, a brief relationship with Clara ended in betrayal, cutting off not only her romance but also her friendship with someone she once considered very close. Over the years, attempts to “make peace” were met with rude rejections and anger.

Recently, Clara extended an invitation to her wedding, pitching it as an opportunity to let go of the past and move on. Instead of forgiving and attending, the OP firmly refused, telling them to “go f**k themselves.” Now, the situation has spiraled into a circus of texts and calls from ex-parties and family members. This incident raises an important question: is she the asshole for refusing to attend, or is it justified to stand by her long-held boundaries?

‘AITAH for refusing to go and standing my ground after my ex friend and my ex gf invited me to their wedding?’

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

Experts in interpersonal relationships stress that forgiveness is a deeply personal process that cannot be rushed or coerced. Dr. Maya Henderson, a psychologist specializing in trauma and forgiveness, notes, “When someone is hurt deeply, especially from early experiences, forgiveness is not just about letting go—it’s about healing at one’s own pace. Expecting immediate forgiveness, or using forgiveness as a transactional tool, only exacerbates the trauma.”

In this situation, the OP’s refusal to attend the wedding is not simply an act of stubbornness; it’s a boundary set after years of unresolved hurt. Moreover, coupling an apology with a request for help—in this case, the invitation coming alongside pleas for reconciliation—can often undermine the sincerity of any attempt at healing. Dr. Henderson adds, “Genuine forgiveness comes from a place of understanding and time, not from external pressure or as a condition for mending broken ties.”

Furthermore, experts emphasize that one should never be forced to participate in family events if doing so means compromising one’s own emotional well-being. If the invitations and ultimatums are perceived as manipulative or coercive, it may be healthier to maintain distance until genuine healing is possible. In such cases, protecting one’s peace is not only acceptable—it is essential.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit community has largely rallied behind the OP’s decision. Many users praised her for not succumbing to pressure and for protecting her emotional space. Some noted that if she were to attend the wedding just to “make the drama end,” it would validate the manipulative tactics of her exes and their families. Commenters frequently stated that the invitation was less about reconciliation and more about guilt-tripping her into forgiving them prematurely.

Several users also mentioned that relying on mystic claims of “bad karma” is a weak attempt to manipulate emotions. The prevailing sentiment among Redditors is that the OP is NTA for refusing to attend an event where she feels forced to forgive and overlook deep-seated betrayal.

In conclusion, this story highlights the complex nature of forgiveness and the importance of setting boundaries. The OP’s decision to refuse an invitation to a wedding—organized by those who betrayed her in the past—is not about pettiness; it’s about self-preservation and the right to heal on her own terms.

While some may argue that faking forgiveness could end the drama, true healing cannot be rushed or forced. What do you think—should the OP attend the wedding for the sake of family peace, or is it more important to honor one’s own emotional boundaries? Have you ever faced a situation where you were pressured to forgive before you were ready? Share your thoughts and experiences below.

For those who want to read the sequel: *Update* AITAH for refusing to go and standing my ground after my ex friend and my ex gf invited me to their wedding?