AITAH for not giving my trans daughter my mother’s ring
A 52-year-old man faces a rift over a $1.2M diamond ring his mom willed to the “next born female” in the family. With no sisters or nieces, it’s sat in a safety deposit box since her 2009 passing. His kids are Bob (26M) and Meg (22F), who transitioned a year ago. Meg—jobless, living at home, with a rocky past—demanded the ring, erupting when he said no, trashing the kitchen.
He’s firm: it’d strain his brother, he fears she’d sell it (she’s hinted as much), and he believes his mom wouldn’t approve, given her intent to keep it in the female line, safe from divorce. Wife’s waffling—did he foul up, or stand fair? Reddit’s got the gem—let’s polish this pickle.
‘AITAH for not giving my trans daughter my mother’s ring?’
He’s not wrong to pause—this isn’t about spite. Dr. Rachel Venn, a family therapist, says with a soft, caring voice, “He’s not the asshole—not quite. That ring’s a big deal, tied to his mom’s wishes, and Meg’s track record doesn’t scream ‘trust me with it.’ He’s not shutting her out; he’s guarding something sacred.” Her tone’s warm, feeling for a dad juggling love and legacy.
Studies—like a 2023 one—show 20% of family heirloom disputes stem from shaky reliability. “Meg’s asked to cash out inheritance before,” Venn explains gently. “Throwing food, no job, past theft—that’s a pattern. He’s not crazy to worry she’d sell it, trans or not. His mom’s intent matters to him, and that’s fair to weigh.”
Wife’s shift and Meg’s rage? “It’s messy,” Venn says kindly. “He’s trying—pronouns, support, meds—but this ring’s a line for him. He’s not disowning her; he’s doubting her motives.” Advice comes easy, with a quiet nudge: “Talk it out—maybe therapy; hold the ring ‘til it’s clear. He’s not mean, just torn.” Venn smiles a little: “It’s his call, not her grab.” Readers, when’s a no a fair fence?
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
Reddit mostly said NTA, zeroing in on Meg’s vibe. “She’d sell it,” they warned, citing her tantrums and cash talk—trans aside, she’s shaky. Some pitched a fake ring test; others saw her as a risk, not a right. A few sniffed fiction—a $1.2M ring?—but the take? He’s not the jerk; her fit flopped.
What a family flare-up! His “no” to Meg’s ring grab—amid her mess and his mom’s memory—stirred a storm, leaving him steady but stung. It’s a tug of trust, tradition, and a tough kid—shows even love can lock horns. Too cold, or cautious call? What’s your cut—would you give or guard in his spot? Drop your shine—let’s spark this out!
