AITAH for not donating to my sisters gofundme?

A burn scar on her arm serves as a lifelong reminder of a sister’s cruelty, etched into the skin of a woman now facing a bold request: donate to a GoFundMe for her sister’s breast implant removal. For the younger sibling, who’s built a comfortable life with her husband, the ask reopens old wounds memories of raw chicken fed to her as a toddler and years of relentless meanness. Her refusal, firm and unapologetic, has her sister crying foul, accusing her of heartlessness. But with a history this raw, can family ties demand financial support?

This tale of sibling strife and unresolved pain has Reddit buzzing with fiery takes, from savage quips about the sister’s audacity to questions about unpunished childhood harm. Is the OP right to hold her ground, or should she let go of the past for family’s sake? Dive into this charged family saga, where scars seen and unseen shape a standoff over a $13,000 surgery, and decide who’s in the right.

‘AITAH for not donating to my sisters gofundme?’

The OP reflects on a painful childhood marked by her sister’s cruelty:

I’m 34F and my sister is 53F. We’ve never had a good relationship. For as long as I can remember — from when I was very little through my early...

Then my mom tells the story that my sis babysat me at 2 yrs old and fed me raw chicken and i was so sick for about 2 weeks. Honestly...

Years later, the sister’s GoFundMe request stirs old tensions:

So now, my sister had a cosmetic surgery years ago when she was about 27, paid for by someone she was dating at the time. She’s no longer with him...

The OP and her husband face pressure to contribute:

She sent me the link this morning and asked me donate, she also asked my husband to ask his family to donate. My husband and i are well off, we...

The OP stands firm, pointing to her sister’s past favoritism:

But no i am not going to show them my sisters go fund me. And i told her that I was sorry but i would not be donating. We have...

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An update highlights the sister’s outrage:

Update: My sister got upset with me for not sharing her GoFundMe link with my in-laws. I was honestly surprised by her reaction — it felt unfair. If the situation...

This sibling clash lays bare the lasting impact of childhood trauma on adult relationships. The OP’s refusal to donate to her sister’s GoFundMe isn’t just about money—it’s rooted in a history of abuse, from a burn scar to a dangerous incident with raw chicken. Psychologist Dr. Judith Herman, in Trauma and Recovery, notes that early betrayal by a family member can fracture trust indefinitely (Herman, 1992). The sister’s actions, unaddressed and unpunished, cast a long shadow, making the OP’s stance a boundary against further emotional harm.

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The sister’s GoFundMe request, framed as a medical need but tied to a cosmetic choice, raises questions about entitlement. Her expectation that the OP and her in-laws should fund it, despite a lack of reciprocity or remorse, reflects a skewed sense of obligation. Family therapist Murray Bowen’s concept of differentiation highlights the OP’s strength in separating her financial decisions from familial pressure, prioritizing her hard-earned stability (Bowen, 1978).

However, the sister’s call for help might stem from financial desperation, and her ongoing support for another brother suggests a complex dynamic. While the OP’s refusal is justified, a conversation clarifying her hurt without yielding to the donation could offer closure. The sister’s defensive outburst in the update suggests denial of past wrongs, which complicates reconciliation.

For others navigating similar family demands, this case underscores the importance of boundaries rooted in self-respect. Past trauma doesn’t obligate financial support, but addressing it directly can prevent lingering resentment. The OP’s choice protects her peace, a decision that resonates for anyone balancing family ties with personal healing.

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Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit erupted with support for the OP, their responses laced with outrage, sarcasm, and pointed questions about her sister’s past: the community’s near-unanimous verdict slams the sister’s audacity and cheers the OP’s resolve.

Most backed the OP’s refusal, citing her sister’s history of cruelty:

[Reddit User] − NTA, your sister is not entitled to your money

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Trailsya − NTA Find a real charity if you want to give money away. This is one of the dumbest "causes" I have ever seen. She chose to have that...

gastropod43 − NTA She is for expecting other people to pay for her plastic surgery.

[Reddit User] − Lmfao…. Sorry sis, I’m not donating to your boobs you just had to have for some dude. I can however enlighten you with this very interesting article...

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Liu1845 − NTA "Sis, when I think of donating money to you, I look at my burn scar, and then I'm fine with NOT donating. "

Guilty-Web7334 − NTA. Tell her you thought about it, but the only cosmetic surgery you’re considering is the one to repair that burn scar she gave you.

Some expressed shock at the sister’s unpunished actions:

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Neonpinx − Your sister should have been prosecuted for child abuse as she was a adult when you were born and abused you up until she was in her 40...

cara1888 − Info" why wasn't she arrested? With your age gap she was already an adult when you were born she knew better. When you were 2 she was 21...

5footfilly − Your 21 year old sister fed you raw chicken when you were 2? And then your 24 year old sister burned you with an iron when you were...

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Others jabbed at the sister’s entitlement with humor:

Large-Client-6024 − NTA Send her a raw chicken b__ast.

OnlymyOP − NTA. I can smell the entitlement from your Sister through my screen.

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[Reddit User] − NTA, but I would be an AH and donate $10

One user questioned the surgery’s cost:

digitalreaper_666 − 13k is NOT the cost to remove them. That's th4 cost of a new set. B__ast implants sound be replaced ever 10-12 years. She's getting a replacement not...

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This sibling saga is a raw clash of past pain and present demands, with a burn scar and a GoFundMe at its heart. The OP’s refusal to fund her sister’s surgery, rooted in a history of cruelty, draws a firm line that Reddit cheers with sharp wit and fierce support.

But the sister’s audacious ask and her outrage when denied—raises questions about accountability and family ties. Was the OP right to shut down the donation plea, or should she have softened for family’s sake? Share your take: would you hold the line or open your wallet? Drop your thoughts below!

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