AITAH for not believing my sister had an pregnancy and not reaching out and comforting her when it was proven to be true?

A 27-year-old woman completely cut ties with her younger sister after years of serious lies, including faking a sexual assault. Now, when the sister actually went through an ectopic pregnancy and lost it, she still chose to stay distant and offered no comfort.

The family is split: her parents understand and respect her choice, but her older sisters blasted her for being cruel, saying she’s punishing the younger one and leaving no room for change. Is protecting herself from more hurt too harsh, or the right call especially with a baby on the way?

‘AITAH for not believing my sister had an pregnancy and not reaching out and comforting her when it was proven to be true?’

The whole thing started with an especially close sisterly bond between the OP and her much younger sister, as the two youngest in a big family of seven kids:

I (27f) come from a large family of 7 kids. It's 3 older brother, 2 older sisters, me and then my younger sister. Growing up my younger sister and I...

So we had an extra close bond and I adored my little sister and so much of our childhood was spent with us doing stuff even if we had different...

Everything shifted when the OP was 19 and her sister 17, after a frantic call that made her cut a vacation short:

Things changed when I was 19 and she was 17. I had gone on vacation with friends for the first time and my sister called me on the third night...

It freaked me out so I left my vacation early and went home to be with my sister. It took two days for her to tell me she had been...

The OP supported her fully, got tests done, and kept the secret:

I supported her, let her cry on my shoulder and made sure she got a pregnancy test and STI panel done at the very least. She didn't want to report...

The truth came out during an argument, shattering everything:

ADVERTISEMENT

But a month or so later we got into a fight because I was going out for a while to grab some things and she didn't like that a friend...

Their parents overheard and forced therapy:

Our parents heard the whole thing and insisted she was getting therapy and seeing a psychiatrist because it was so wrong and concerning about what was going on in her...

ADVERTISEMENT

She apologized and after some time I tried to move on from that but with firm boundaries in place. I never forgot about it or tried to pretend it didn't...

The lying continued with more serious incidents:

She faked being in so much pain that she passed out and only came clean when they wanted to an endoscopy on her. She let herself go through several other...

ADVERTISEMENT

Then it was faking a relationship because I started dating my husband. She went as far as telling him that I had promised we could always live together and that...

The OP realized things weren’t improving and went no contact:

It wasn't even the most serious lie she told but I was just done at that point and I realized she wasn't going to get any better. She was 20...

ADVERTISEMENT

I went no contact with her and when I got married I didn't invite her and I declined any invites from her. My parents understood and my older siblings said...

Now pregnant with her first child, a new situation arose:

I'm now pregnant with my first child. A few weeks ago I got a call from one of my older sister's saying my younger sister was recovering from an ectopic...

ADVERTISEMENT

My parents were uncertain themselves but hadn't said anything while my siblings said it was a weird thing to lie about and she looked so pale.

It was confirmed when my mom took her to the hospital for a check up because things weren't healing and she heard it out of the doctor's mouth that the...

The older siblings’ reaction left the OP questioning herself:

ADVERTISEMENT

My older siblings, more my older sisters, were horrified I wouldn't let go of the past to be there for younger sister. They told me it was bad enough I...

but to continue ignoring her and offer no sympathy or comfort was beyond cruel. They said I was punishing her and not leaving any room for growth.

The OP worries about the future and her own well-being:

ADVERTISEMENT

I feel like we will get stuck in a repeating cycle if I go back again. She might use any attention from me as a starting point for more lies.

And I have my baby to think about and they need me to be at my best, not stressed or going through turmoil again because of my sister. Maybe that's...

The younger sister’s repeated serious lies, especially faking sexual assault to manipulate her sibling, point to deep behavioral issues, possibly tied to unhealthy attachment or extreme need for control. This didn’t just cause massive emotional damage to the OP—it eroded trust across the whole family.

ADVERTISEMENT

Mental health experts stress that someone who’s been manipulated repeatedly has every right to create distance for self-protection. As Dr. Ramani Durvasula, an expert on narcissistic abuse, puts it in her book “It’s Not You”: “When someone repeatedly violates trust, continuing to give chances isn’t forgiveness—it can mean setting yourself up for more pain.”

Even though this time it was real, the OP’s skepticism makes total sense after the “cry wolf” pattern. The older sisters pushing for reconciliation might stem from shared family guilt, but they weren’t the direct targets, so they downplay the severity.

With the OP pregnant, prioritizing her mental health and stability for herself and her baby comes first. Practical advice: stay no contact until there’s solid proof of long-term change through therapy and full accountability for past actions. If anything, a brief well-wish through a third party keeps basic humanity without reopening the door.

ADVERTISEMENT

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Online users were almost unanimous in supporting the OP, but their takes fell into a few clear camps.

First off, plenty called it straight-up “cry wolf” and stressed the need to protect herself from more manipulation:

lucycarlyles - NTA. You're no contact with her for a reason, if you gave her an inch, she would've taken a mile.

ADVERTISEMENT

Blatherbother470 - The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. There was zero reason for you to extend the benefit of the doubt after repeated conveniently related lies from...

Wonderful_Avocado - Nta Yes, as soon as you support her in this truth the next crisis will be a lie and the one after and the one after that.

tigerz0973 - As harsh as it may seem to others you need to protect yourself. With the best help hopefully your sister has outgrown her unhealthy attachment to you but...

ADVERTISEMENT

DawnShakhar - NTA. You are not punishing her. You are defending yourself from her octopus-like clinging, manipulative behaviour.

You have yourself, your husband and your baby, and you need to protect the three of you. What if you let her into your life and she manipulates you into...

ADVERTISEMENT

Of if she harms your baby herself out of her jealousy and possessiveness about you? You definitely need to cut her out of your life.

Several went harder on the damage caused by faking SA and called out the younger sister’s actions as downright vile:

Grouchywhennhungry - This is what happens when you cry wolf. NTA ETA women who lie about SA are part of the reason why women don't come forward, why real survivors...

ADVERTISEMENT

otsukaren_613 - Nope. Just because a liar told the truth once, doesn't mean they're not a liar. They wanna talk about cruelty?

**It was beyond cruel of her to pretend to be in pain AND PRETEND TO BE A VICTIM OF S__UAL A__AULT. ** And they're all okay with that? She expected...

She was going to milk that for the rest of your lives. She was stupid enough to tell you as much. She admitted in the fight that she had made...

ADVERTISEMENT

*She was going to keep crying and throwing fits and pretending to have trauma, keeping you on a leash. * And make sure you to burden you with the pressure...

Here's the thing when someone really wants to lie, they'll make sure to have all their bases covered. That's the lesson she learned.

Not to stop lying - but to get BETTER at lying. And she probably also learned not to tell you when she's trying to manipulate you. .. because she learned...

ADVERTISEMENT

Next time, she just won't admit it. Don't forget, the only reason she stopped lying is because she got caught - not because her conscience told her to stop.

She was willing to keep lying to you, keep manipulating you, keep HURTING YOU, to get what she wanted. They wanna comfort her? Great. Go do it. But there's something...

Medusa_7898 - Your sister has proven herself to be a deranged and jealous liar. You are not wrong to question anything she claims.

Your relationship with her is toxic and you are smart to maintain distance until she literally owns what she has done, can articulate to you why she did it, and...

A bunch pushed back on the older siblings for not getting the full picture and minimizing the trauma:

emaandee96 - NTA. Your older sisters need to understand that your your youngest sister is the reason you're no contact, not you. They need to respect that regardless of what's...

Dry_Ask5493 - NTA. I agree with you and your reasons completely. Your sisters don’t understand because none of her behaviors and lies were directed to them so they minimize it....

throwRA-nt - NTA, your older sisters thought that you would get over her abuse and lies about you and didn’t think your other sisters lies were that bad.

You have to tell them that she tried to destroy your relationship and future family and faced no real consequences and that you don’t want her to abuse your kid...

And when people say “why would she do that” or “why would someone lie about that” call her out as a liar and call your sisters out for being disingenuous...

Crimsonwolf_83 - NTA. Your older siblings are idiots who think because she’s not fixated on them that it couldn’t be that bad.

YouSayWotNow - It is not punishing her to have created firm boundaries to protect yourself from further hurt after her serial lies and previous behaviours.

They are welcome to be there for her, but you are absolutely not a bad person for choosing not to re-enter that same cycle which damaged you so much before.

And there's zero evidence at all that she's broken any of those horrible habits of lying for attention.

lonnielee3 - NTA. Your little sister has 5 older siblings to “be there” to offer sympathy and comfort for her when she had a medical issue. If your little sister...

And finally, one pointed out the irony of expecting a pregnant woman to comfort someone over pregnancy loss:

explosivetoilet - Nta also they want the PREGNANT one to go comfort the one experiencing pregnancy loss? And they expect that to help? !

This situation highlights how personal boundaries can be the only way to shield yourself from repeated pain, especially after trust has been broken so many times. While nearly everyone online backs the OP, the final call is hers—balancing family compassion with long-term emotional health.

What do you think? If you were in her shoes, would you open the door again for forgiveness, or keep the distance to protect yourself and your future child?

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *