AITAH for never contacting my parents for 7 years?

A 28-year-old man has built a happy life—new wife, new career as a police officer—after being completely cut off by his family seven years ago. The fallout started at a birthday party when his brother-in-law suddenly accused him of having sex with his own sister.

The entire family believed the lie without question, kicked him out, spread rumors, and blocked him everywhere. Now, after the ex-BIL finally confessed it was all false, his mom is reaching out with an apology. He’s not sure he wants to respond. After the betrayal, who could blame him for hesitating?

‘AITAH for never contacting my parents for 7 years?’

The dramatic shift happened suddenly at a family gathering seven years ago:

I (28 M) live in Denver, Colorado with my wife Gabby (28 F). This incident happened at a birthday party seven years ago. I used to always contact my parents....

But one day it all changed. It was my Brother-In-Law's birthday party. My wife (girlfriend at the time) was at a work meeting in Utah and I was driving to...

I had already told my parents I might be late, but when I arrived they seemed a bit annoyed at me. I wasn't sure why so I put my gift...

After a couple of minutes, I went downstairs to see that the party had changed completely. I walked in to see what was wrong. The music was off, people were...

I noticed my sister had left too, which was strange as it was her husband's party. My mom told me to leave and I asked why. She asked me again,...

Inside, my sister came and knocked on my door and asked if I could take her to my house. I asked why and she told me that my brother-in-law said...

Me and Lindsay shared a dorm in college and lived in a small house together before she got married. We were very close. I offered for her to sleep in...

She went upstairs to get changed and I immediately called my brother-in-law. I shouted at him for accusing me, and he kept telling me that it was true and that...

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The aftermath involved total family rejection:

After that I began to notice my family were saying bad things about be on social media, and they all began blocking my number and social media accounts. My sister...

My girlfriend came home not long after and told me about the situation. I explained everything to her and she believed me. Fast forward today, I was living my best...

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I got a new job as a Police Officer and I completely forgot about my family. That was until a couple days ago. I was playing Call of Duty with...

We had a break which we always did after every hour of playing so I decided to get a drink and grab some snacks then after that I called the...

My sister still hasn't got back together with him. My mom told me to call her back as soon as possible if it was okay for me to come back...

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This story exposes deep family trust issues and the lasting damage of unfounded accusations. When families side with an in-law over their own children without investigation—especially on something as grave as incest—it reveals misplaced loyalty and poor judgment.

Therapists specializing in family estrangement often note that rushed belief in serious allegations without hearing both sides can fracture bonds permanently. The parents’ choice to spread rumors and cut contact amplified the harm, turning a lie into years of isolation for both siblings.

Reconciliation after long no-contact requires genuine accountability, not just an apology triggered by the liar’s confession. The son owes nothing; forgiveness is a gift, not an obligation. Many in similar situations find peace in chosen family over biological ties that proved unreliable.

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If he considers reconnecting, slow steps with clear boundaries—and perhaps therapy—are essential. But thriving without them for seven years shows he’s already built a healthier life.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Online reactions are strongly in the son’s favor, with shock at how quickly the family believed such an extreme lie:

Many express disbelief and urge permanent no-contact:

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FitOrFat-1999 - Your BIL announced at his birthday party that you and his wife, your sister, had had s__? And everyone just swallowed this whole without even asking you about...

(I'm assuming your sister denied it and they didn't believe her). And now, 7 years later, only because your BIL has confessed to lying, does your mom say she's sorry?...

rosebud-2911 - NTA. What befuzzles me is why your family would believe your BIL. That is an awful accusation to make. They should be begging for your forgiveness!

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MaryAnne0601 - NTA If someone had accused me of having s__ with my sibling they would have been the one thrown out. My parents would defend me to the grave...

My father for the record might have said look at me and tell me. I would have said it never happened and that would have been the end of it.

Your parents never even talked to you. They just cut you off on the word of their son-in-law, not one of their children. That is beyond bizarre. You’ve lived this...

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JCBashBash - NTA. They believed you were f__king your sister. Hell. No.

Several suggest a strong response or caution about reconciliation:

galaxy_defender_4 - Thank you for finally acknowledging the truth. If you had given (insert sister name) and myself the chance to talk on that day you would have found out...

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You further chose to tarnish our reputation by spreading this lie even further. As far as (sister name) and I are concerned you showed your true colours that day by...

You cannot even begin to understand the pain that caused us both to see our own Mother actually believing those lies instead of believing her own children. And for that...

Puzzleheaded_Mix_507 - NTA - Your parents should've known better. They chose to believe a lying POS without talking to you, they talked bad about you and spread lies, and now...

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For what? So they can believe the next lying man your sister marries? In life, you have two families. The one you are born into (who cut you out of...

Danish19871987 - NTA. if I were you I would be very hesitated too. They sided with your brother-in-law without even hearing you side of the story and completely cut you...

on the other hand it’s your family and you guys will always share a special bond. if you do decide to have contact again, do it slow and on your...

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People can’t just walk back in to your life after 7 years and expect it will be like the good old days

Some question the story’s authenticity:

SallysRocks - This has to be made up.

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poopkn1fe - This has to be fake

MCKelly13 - This can’t be real

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Seven years of silence followed one of the most damaging false accusations imaginable—and the family chose to believe it without a single conversation. That kind of blind trust in an outsider over their own kids speaks volumes.

Now living a full life without them, this man has every right to keep that peace. An apology only after the liar confesses doesn’t erase the pain caused. What would you do—let them back in slowly, or keep the door closed for good?

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