AITAH for kicking out my gf’s sister and her kids out of my flat after my gf gave her the keys?

Picture this: a guy trudges home, bleary-eyed from an early flight, expecting the quiet comfort of his own space—only to hear children’s shrieks echoing through his flat. Inside, his girlfriend’s sister, her husband, and their kids have turned his home into a chaotic campsite, complete with ravioli-strewn floors and a rummaged PS2. His girlfriend’s casual text, admitting she handed over his keys without asking, lands like a sucker punch. Furious, he sends the intruders packing, but now faces a family firestorm. Was his reaction a justified stand, or a heartless overreach?

This Reddit tale dives into the messy clash of trust, privacy, and relationship boundaries. The OP’s shock at finding uninvited guests in his home, coupled with their disregard for his space and belongings, has ignited a debate about respect and betrayal. It’s a story of a man reclaiming his sanctuary, at the cost of family harmony.

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‘AITAH for kicking out my gf’s sister and her kids out of my flat after my gf gave her the keys?’

People around me are saying I am an AH but I need the perspective of uninvolved people. My long term gf has my apartment keys, as I have hers. Only unspoken until now but always respected rule was, if you need to go to the other place, just send a text 'Hey going to your place'.

Doesn't matter if the other is at home or even responds. Just simply to tell the other you will be at their place. I was supposed to be away 700km from home for 2 weeks for work related stuff, but 4 days in and our instructor got into an accident. Work tried to find another one, but no such luck on very short notice.

They decided at like 10pm to get us the 1st flight home the next day at like 6am, pay us the overtime and the next day at home, then resume our normal work schedule. So I get home the next day at like 9am, sent a text to my gf to tell her I am back.

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Getting to my door, I am very confused hearing children screaming inside since none of the people who have my keys have low kids like that (my brother and my gf). I thought I got squatters or something. Opening the door and I see my gf's sister's kid running around after a shower, putting water everywhere

Plates of half finished ravioli on my living room ground. Their suitcases opened in the entrance. I get inside and see the husband on my couch trying to hook up my PS2(that he must have digged out in my storage room). Getting into a verbal argument with him trying to understand why the f**k they are here.

Said my gf told them they could get my flat for 2 weeks while I was gone (they wanted to visit the city for a bit, go to the beach). My gf sent me a text while i was arguing, telling me 'oh ok, btw my sis fam' is at your flat'. I admit I blew up on him and the sis who left my bedroom in the meantime.

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Told them to leave immediately. They argued quite a bit, my gf called her sis, then sis put up the speaker so we could all hear, and she said I was embarrassing her, that she told them they could use my place for a while.. I threatened to call the police, also asked my brothers to come.

They left while cursing me to their children, telling that holidays are over because the mean little sister's boyfriend cast us out. I have now all of my gf family on my back, and even some of my own family, saying i could have stayed with at my gf so the kids could have some vacations...

Also. They have read my doctor prescription papers(I put them in a specific order, and it was not the same), and obviously took some of my prescribed meds (opened a box of benzodiazepine...).. AITAH for making them leave?

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We pretty much stopped talking about anything else with my gf. I feel like i am being gaslighted. I would never invite people to her apartment like that, especially without telling her. It seems so disrespectful.. Am I going insane?

Discovering your home has been loaned out like a cheap Airbnb is a gut-wrenching violation. The OP’s fury at finding his girlfriend’s family camped out in his flat, courtesy of her unilateral decision, is more than warranted—it’s a red flag waving in a storm. Her failure to communicate, paired with her family’s reckless behavior (messy floors, digging through storage, and tampering with medications), shattered the trust that’s the bedrock of any relationship.

Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, notes in Psychology Today, “Trust is built through consistent respect for boundaries.” The girlfriend’s actions violated this, as a 2023 study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 68% of couples cite unauthorized boundary breaches as a major trust breaker. The tampering with benzodiazepines, a controlled substance, escalates the issue, potentially warranting legal action, as Reddit suggested.

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Dr. Gottman advises, “Rebuilding trust requires accountability and transparency.” The OP could demand a full explanation from his girlfriend and consider reporting the medication theft to authorities for safety. Changing locks and reevaluating the relationship are prudent steps to protect his space and mental health. The girlfriend’s family owes an apology and compensation for damages, but the OP’s swift eviction was a necessary defense of his autonomy.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit stormed in like a cleanup crew, wielding brooms of outrage and support. They rallied behind the OP, slamming the girlfriend’s betrayal and her family’s entitlement. From calls to dump her to demands for police reports over stolen meds, the comments were a fiery mix of solidarity and practical advice. Here’s the unfiltered Reddit rumble:

GlitchiePixie − Change those locks and dump the girlfriend. It is completely unacceptable. 

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HUNGWHITEBOI25 − You feel like you’re being gaslighted because you ARE…. You’re NTA but…WHY are you still with this woman…?

SatelliteBeach123 − NTA. If the people around you saying you're the AH then you need different people. Who does this? Your GF was wildly out of line in just giving YOUR apartment over to her family. Hard NO and hill to die on.

Recent_Data_305 − Wow. You have one entitled gf! She loaned out your home like an AirBNB. I wonder if she has been doing this every time you’re out of town. You do realize there are other women in the world? You could find one who respects you and your property.

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cthulularoo − The proper way to do it was GF stay at your flat and let them move into hers. That way, she takes the brunt of the i**asion of privacy and damage. But definitely, she kept it from you and planned their trip to coincide with yours. This was intentional and you're NTA. She and her family owe you a huge apology before you get over this. Do not let them walk all over you. This is the hill to die on.

KronkLaSworda − NTA. Also, you should no longer have a girlfriend. Block all of her family from your phone, email, and social medias. Send her sister a cleaning bill.

bibbiddybobbidyboo − NTA. Report them for the stolen medications to the police and to whoever looks after children there. You don’t know if they took the meds, sold them or if the kids took them. Also report anything else stolen and send a letter before action for the cleaning bill and costs to replace anything stolen or broken and the cost of new keys.

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Well-Done22 − NTA. You made the right choice. Now you dump the lying liar girlfriend who lies.

Beautiful_Sweet_8686 − NTA oh this would definitely be a deal breaker for me. I would immediately terminate that relationship and change the locks while you're waiting on the police to show up for your report on the stolen meds. It's so easy for them to say that you gave or sold them controlled substances and then your life is ruined. How dare your gf allow someone else into your home while you were away and she didn't even have nerve to tell you about it.

Alternative-Ant1188 − NTA. Why is she still your gf?

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These Redditors didn’t hold back, cheering the OP’s stand while torching the girlfriend’s choices. But do their calls for drastic measures capture the full mess of this flat fiasco, or are they just tossing fuel on the fire?

The OP’s eviction of his girlfriend’s family wasn’t just about reclaiming his flat—it was a stand for his right to privacy and respect. His girlfriend’s casual betrayal, paired with her family’s disregard, turned his home into a battleground. As he navigates the fallout, this saga reminds us that trust is fragile, and boundaries are non-negotiable. Have you ever had to defend your space from uninvited guests? Share your story—let’s keep the conversation rolling!

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