AITAH for filing restraining orders on a pair of missionaries?

Imagine firing up the grill for a lively BBQ with friends, only to find uninvited missionaries weaving through your guests, preaching like it’s their personal pulpit. For one woman, this was the final straw after two months of weekly visits from teenage LDS missionaries, despite her clear pleas to stop. Now, facing a restraining order hearing and a barrage of guilt from family and church members, she’s questioning if she’s gone too far. Was her legal stand a bold defense of her peace, or an overreaction to zealous teens?

This Reddit saga sizzles with the clash of personal boundaries and religious persistence. The OP’s fight to reclaim her home from unwelcome visitors, even as her LDS roots tug at her conscience, has sparked a fiery debate about harassment and accountability. It’s a story of standing firm in a storm of dogma and drama.

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‘AITAH for filing restraining orders on a pair of missionaries?’

Missionaries stopped by once a week for two months even though I told them to stop. They crash a BBQ of mine so I filed a restraining order. My family and old church members have started to guilt me saying they're just teens and doing what they travelled here to do and it's kind of working. Am I being a push over?

I used to be (technically still am) a member of the LDS/Mormon church. I've tried to get my records removed but it's gone nowhere and I still get members and missionaries showing up to my house, even when I moved.

Well in the past two months I have been visited once a week by the same pair of missionaries along with one of my male cousins (they can't visit a single lady unless another male is with them). I tell them each week to stop visiting and tell which ever cousin they bring that it's not welcome, necessary, or funny and they really need to stop.

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Well they came over last Saturday while I was having a BBQ with some friends and coworkers and they just started migling/preaching to my guests. I didn't even realize they were because I was on the grill, until one of my coworkers came up to me and basically complained about me inviting him to a bbq as an excuse to get my church members to preach to him and his boyfriend.

I had to apologize and explain to him the situation and promise it wasn't like that at all. I decided I was done, they didn't even try to find me, they just harassed my guests and came into my property uninvited so I called the police.

They showed and and said they can ask them to leave but can't really do anything else since I didn't ask them to leave myself first? So I showed them my ring footage and how I've been asking them to stop coming to my house for 2 months and they said I could file a restraining order for stalking but it might not go anywhere, so they walked me through the online forms and I have a hearing soon.

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Since then the church members have sent me emails, their youth have 'heart attacked' my door/porch, and my LDS family have made FB posts about me being the literal devil. With the hearing getting closer I'm starting to feel nervous, and like maybe I've blown everything out of proportion.

Like these missionaries are still teens, and maybe I should be redirecting my anger at my family who are probably the ones behind it. AITAH if I go through with the hearing? Edit: Well it's been 2 hours and I think I've gotten enough advice and encouragement to help me.

Thank you all! I will go to the hearing still. You are right, if they weren't missionaries I wouldn't even be questioning it. I will be messaging my coworkers and apologizing and letting them know about the RO hearing, and I will be going LC with my LDS family.

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And for those that asked Heart Attacking is taping paper hearts with Book of Mormon and Bible quotes and little 'I miss you' notes to peoples front.  door/windows/porches. I have also been told that it's literally love bombing, which I never noticed before. So that's cool.. Thanks again, I probably won't log back in since this is a throw away account.

When “no” becomes background noise, persistence turns into harassment. The OP’s ordeal—weekly unwanted visits culminating in a BBQ invasion—wasn’t just a nuisance; it was a deliberate disregard for her autonomy. The missionaries’ youth doesn’t excuse their actions, especially when backed by family members who likely encouraged the behavior. The church’s “heart attacking” and social media attacks only escalate the pressure, revealing a pattern of manipulation.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a psychologist specializing in boundary violations, writes in Psychology Today, “Repeated boundary breaches signal a lack of respect, often rooted in control.” A 2023 study in the Journal of Social Psychology found that 68% of individuals facing persistent harassment report increased stress when community pressure accompanies it, as in the OP’s case. The missionaries’ BBQ stunt, impacting her coworker’s perception, risked her professional relationships.

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Dr. Durvasula advises, “Legal action can be a last resort to enforce boundaries.” The OP’s restraining order filing is justified, supported by Ring footage documenting her requests. She could strengthen her case by presenting evidence of the church’s subsequent harassment, like the “heart attacking.” Going low-contact with her LDS family, as she plans, and using resources like QuitMormon.com, as Reddit suggested, could sever ties to the church’s influence. Her stand is a reclaiming of her space, not an overreaction.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit roared in like a backyard posse, dishing out support with a side of shade. They cheered the OP’s resolve, slamming the missionaries’ audacity and the church’s love-bombing tactics. From legal tips to quips about “religious nuts,” the comments were a spicy blend of encouragement and outrage. Here’s the unfiltered Reddit buzz:

Sharp-Subject-2457 − 'until one of my coworkers came up to me and basically complained about me inviting him to a bbq as an excuse to get my church members to preach to him and his boyfriend'. NTA. They could have gotten you FIRED! Go to the hearing

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Llama-no_drama − NTA, get the restraining order. Block everyone harassing you online, hopefully the stuff at your house is on your door camera, send all footage to your lawyer or court point of contact. They have escalated their behaviour, so you definitely need the order;

if they'd just given up you might have dropped it. If regular teens were repeatedly vandalising your house you'd take appropriate steps, don't let their religion get in the way.. You deserve peace. Please don't feel guilty; they brought it on themselves. 

thistime_andagain − NTA. Go to https://www.quitmormon.com/ and leave the church. The church is required, by precedent, to remove you from the rolls. It also is a formal and legal way to state that the church has to quit sending missionaries and church members to your house. It’s free, although they ask for donations.. Furthermore, I recommend that you continue with your hearing, otherwise they’ll keep bothering you. Stay strong.

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WhiteKnightPrimal − NTA. Even if your family are the ones behind this, you literally told those teens, to their faces, to stop coming. They're old enough to understand that and to stop being the ones your family sends round. All they have to do is say that you've told them to stop so they'll stop and your family will have to find someone else.

So, even if your family is behind this, those teens are equally as responsible as they knew they weren't welcome. This is harassment. You keep telling them to stop and they keep showing up anyway. This last time wasn't even to speak to you, it was to harass guests at your private party that they weren't invited to.

Go ahead with your hearing, do everything you can to get a retraining order against these teens. They need to learn that harassment is not okay. It doesn't matter if you were/are a member of their church, either. They should have stopped the second you told them to.

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If you get evidence that your family is behind this religious harassment, consider filing restraining orders against them, too. Nobody has the right to harass you or try to force their beliefs down your throat.

BluffCityTatter − NTA. Takes some balls to crash a person's private party to harass their guests.. 

friendly-sam − NTA. It's amazing when people use religion to do hateful acts. Good for you to standing up to the harassment.

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Ok-Bus-6331 − Do what I did decades ago, offer them some literature on Satanism, haven't had any since.

Tremenda-Carucha − NTA, It boggles my mind these missionaries were oblivious to your repeated 'stop visiting' pleas until the cops had to step in. Their utter disregard for boundaries is downright shocking... and I'm shocked they didn't get a time-out or detention for their juvenile behavior.

TSOTL1991 − NTA. Religious nuts are the worst.

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demon_x_slash − Well done for escaping the cult.

These Redditors didn’t hold back, rallying for the OP while scorching the missionaries’ nerve. But do their fiery takes capture the full heat of this boundary battle, or are they just fanning the flames?

The OP’s restraining order isn’t about punishing teens—it’s about protecting her home and peace from relentless overreach. The missionaries’ disregard, amplified by her family’s guilt trips, turned a BBQ into a battleground for autonomy. This saga reminds us that boundaries are non-negotiable, even when faith and family push back. Have you ever had to take a stand against unwanted intrusions? Share your story—let’s keep the convo sizzling!

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