AITAH for disrespecting my husband’s religion?

A woman in her early fifties found her long-standing marriage shaken after her husband survived a near-fatal car accident. After months of recovery, the family believed life was slowly returning to normal, but a sudden and dramatic shift in beliefs changed everything they thought they knew about him.

What began as renewed faith quickly evolved into rigid expectations about gender roles, work, and their children’s futures. As these beliefs started affecting their teenage daughter’s education, clothing, and autonomy, the situation escalated into open conflict. The confrontation left the family divided and raised difficult questions about respect, religion, and where the line should be drawn when beliefs begin to harm others.

‘AITAH for disrespecting my husband’s religion?’

The family’s life shifted dramatically after a traumatic accident changed everything.

I (53F) have been married to my husband Peter (M51) for 17 years. We have two kids, Joan (15) and Eric (17). Peter and I have been best friends for...

About a year ago, Peter got into a car accident. He got hit by a drunk driver, and was in a coma for a month. It was a really rough...

Thankfully, he pulled through, and he was able to get back to his life after months of recovery and intense physical therapy. Things started to feel like they were going...

New beliefs began affecting parenting decisions and family dynamics.

He started to believe that god had saved him, and that he needed to use the second chance he was given to spread the gospel.

I'm all for people expressing their religion, but he has latched on to a very conservative type of christianity, and it is causing a lot of friction between us.

Eric is currently in his senior year of high school, and is working on the college application process now. Joan has been watching this and is very interested.

The other day, she came to me crying, saying she'd asked her dad what colleges were good for computer science, since she's been very interested in coding for a while...

ADVERTISEMENT

and her dad said she wouldn't be going to college, since her future job was to be a wife and mother, and college would be wasted on her. To say...

A confrontation revealed how deeply his views had changed.

I went to him and asked him why he said that. He replied that he was spreading the good word, and he wanted to make sure we didn't lead our...

ADVERTISEMENT

I asked him if he expected me to quit my job (I work from home as an accountant) and focus on being a wife and mother too, and he said...

He said that he wanted me to quit my job, since it is not suitable for a woman. This absolutely blindsided me, since he'd never expressed anything like this before.

I told him that I would not be quitting my job, and our daughter would go to college, whether he approved or not. He rolled his eyes, and said I'd...

ADVERTISEMENT

Joan was going to go to the movies with a couple friends, and she came down wearing a pair of jeans and a crop top. Typical teenager stuff, nothing she...

Peter stopped her, and told her she had to change. She asked why, and he said he wasn't going to let her leave the house looking like a skank. I...

I told her to leave just as she was, and she left. Peter asked if I even cared about our daughter's soul, and I told him it's her body, she...

ADVERTISEMENT

He said her body is the property of god, not her, and that I needed to respect his religion. I told him I'd never respect a religion that treats women...

In this case, the husband’s near-death experience appears to have triggered a radical shift in belief that conflicts sharply with the family’s established values. While spiritual awakenings after trauma are not uncommon, the intensity and rigidity described suggest a loss of balance between personal faith and mutual respect. The mother’s reaction centers on protecting her children’s autonomy and emotional safety.

Opposing perspectives may argue that religious conviction deserves respect within a marriage. However, respect becomes complicated when beliefs are imposed in ways that restrict education, independence, or dignity. The insistence that women abandon careers and autonomy introduces power imbalances that can escalate into emotional harm.

ADVERTISEMENT

From a broader social perspective, this situation highlights how unchecked belief systems can fracture families when they replace shared values with control. The issue is not faith itself, but how it is used. Healthy belief systems allow coexistence, while rigid ones demand submission. Addressing this divide requires boundaries, professional support, and prioritizing the well-being of vulnerable family members.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Many users supported the poster, emphasizing safety and firm boundaries.

plannerprincess − NTA. While I appreciate that some people can have deeper connections with religious beliefs after a traumatic experience,

ADVERTISEMENT

I do wonder if a traumatic brain injury contributed to this swift and polarizing change. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

MaxTheCookie − NTA. He has gone on the deep end of fucked up religions, he has a right to practice his chosen faith but not force it upon others or...

Him wanting your daughter not to go to collage but be a a stay at home mom and a wife and saying that her body is the property of "god"...

ADVERTISEMENT

You might need to start looking for a safe place to be if his views are that women are the property of god and then probably their husband down the...

What he said makes me think that he might do something drastic to you or your daughter, please be careful.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Sounds like the man you had before the accident is gone. He can't go around being a misogynist and expect no push back.

ADVERTISEMENT

galaxy_defender_4 − I’m beginning to think he’s actually got some underlying brain injury that has changed his way of thinking.

I fully understand latching onto religion during such a traumatic event but to go full polar opposite screams there’s something else going on. Personality changes like this are a very...

Maybe he needs to get checked out by a doctor & you go with him to explain everything that’s been going on since the accident.

ADVERTISEMENT

JudgeJoan − He left? Good. Change the locks. NTA

Others offered balanced views, suggesting medical or professional intervention.

Agyaggalamb − NTA, sounds he had brain damage, or got some brainwashing by some cult representative while recovering. Terrible stuff.

ADVERTISEMENT

ChakraMama318 − NTA- time for a come to Jesus meeting of a different type. If I were you I would tell him that while I deeply appreciate he went through...

I did not sign up to be married to someone who uses religion to justify misogyny. And this is extremely unhealthy for Joan.

And I would hard-line this with potentially throwing him out until he can agree to get counseling and switching to a church that does not treat women as second class...

ADVERTISEMENT

I wonder if what he experienced was deeply traumatizing and if he is falling into this church because he is afraid of dying and going to hell.

Edited to add: another commenter mentioned brain damage- I can’t agree with this enough. Trauma + brain damage is a n__ty combination and highly likely. Either way- I would not...

ADVERTISEMENT

LogicalComfort9337 − Nta for me personally he cannot force anyone to follow the rules of his religion

A few responses used lighter or blunt tones to cut through the tension.

tabbycatt5 − To answer the question, you're NTA for not respecting his beliefs when he doesn't respect yours. He's fallen down a rabbit hole of really toxic Christianity and you...

ADVERTISEMENT

I understand that you love him and want to save him from this but you may find that the situation become bad enough that you have to leave to protect...

It would be wise to start to accumulate an escape fund plus necessary paperwork in case this becomes necessary.

YaBoiDanTheDirty − Nta, I'm a Christian and I'll say he is not acting very christ like (the whole point of christianity) sound more like he's having a mental episode and...

ADVERTISEMENT

This story illustrates how drastically a family dynamic can change when belief systems shift without mutual understanding or consent. The conflict is rooted less in faith itself and more in control, respect, and the safety of children navigating their identities.

How should families respond when a loved one’s beliefs change overnight? Where should the line be drawn between respecting faith and protecting autonomy? Readers are encouraged to share their thoughts and experiences navigating similar challenges.

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *