AITAH for cutting off my best friend after she told my work collegues I’m a recovering a__oholic at a BBQ I hosted?

A 32-year-old woman has proudly maintained two years of sobriety from alcoholism, sharing it only with her closest circle—including her longtime best friend Amanda. She starts a new marketing job, keeps her recovery private from colleagues, and hosts a casual BBQ mixing work folks and friends.

The night takes a turn when alcohol talk comes up. Amanda blurts out, “Well, [OP] won’t be drinking, she’s been sober for two years now!” The room goes silent, awkwardness hangs heavy, and since then, coworkers have been distant or avoidant. Confronting Amanda leads to a shrug and “you should be proud”—no real remorse. Feeling deeply betrayed, OP cuts contact. Now she’s wondering if ending a decade-long friendship was an overreaction.

‘AITAH for cutting off my best friend after she told my work collegues I’m a recovering a__oholic at a BBQ I hosted?’

Recovery has been intensely personal:

The BBQ turns sour:

The confrontation doesn’t help:

Outing someone’s sobriety without permission is a massive boundary violation—recovery details are deeply personal, often tied to medical privacy, and sharing them can invite stigma or judgment. Even if meant proudly, consent matters above intent.

Addiction recovery expert Dr. Gabor Maté emphasizes that trauma and privacy play huge roles in healing; unsolicited disclosures can retraumatize or isolate. A true friend respects “my story to tell.”

Coworker awkwardness likely stems from stigma—many still view addiction through shame rather than strength. Cutting contact isn’t extreme if trust is shattered; a sincere apology acknowledges harm, not defensiveness. Space allows healing, and reconciliation can wait on genuine remorse.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Most rally behind OP, calling the outing unforgivable and the cutoff justified.

Strong support for going no-contact:

Fellow recovery voices weigh in:

A few downplay or question intent:

Others note mixing circles or coworker weirdness:

Betraying private health info, especially in recovery, cuts deep—pride doesn’t override consent. Cutting off someone who dismisses your hurt protects your peace.

These breaches test friendships hard. Would you give a second chance with real accountability, or hold the boundary firm?