AITAH for breaking up with my gf because she slept with someone after saying “I love you”

Jonathan Hours
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Imagine the thrill of a friend confessing they’ve loved you for years, followed by the sting of learning they’ve been with someone else. That’s the rollercoaster a young man rode when his close friend-turned-girlfriend dropped an “I love you” bombshell, only to later admit to a one-night encounter. Believing her love implied commitment, he ended things, feeling betrayed by her claim they weren’t exclusive.

This Reddit saga dives into the murky waters of modern dating, where words like “love” don’t always mean the same thing to everyone. Was he too old-fashioned, expecting loyalty after such a heartfelt confession? Or was her assumption of freedom a fair one? With emotions raw and Reddit buzzing, this story asks: what does love really promise in today’s dating world?

‘AITAH for breaking up with my gf because she slept with someone after saying “I love you”‘

I was close friends with my gf for a few years. Recently, she asked me out, which was weird cuz I don't think she ever saw me that way. She actually confessed the she was actually in love with me for a while now. I'll be honest, idk if this was the right move, but I told her I felt the same.. Some dates later, thing we're going good... until she had the 'exclusivity' talk.

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I asked 'Wait... we weren't exclusive?' And she said we never talked about it, i told she told me she loved me... that's as exclusive as you can get without saying it. I asked her if she's been seeing anyone or sleeping with anyone while dating me, she confessed that she did sleep with a ons.

I told her she's insane, and told her we were done. She tried to apologize and say she didn't think we were exclusive, I told her shes just using that as an excuse.. Aitah? Am I just so far removed from dating to think saying I love you should imply exclusivity?

Love confessions are supposed to be magical, but for this guy, they came with a gut-punch. His girlfriend’s one-night encounter, justified by a lack of explicit exclusivity, left him questioning her “I love you.” It’s a classic case of mismatched expectations in a dating world where rules seem to shift daily. Let’s unpack this with a sprinkle of clarity.

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The core issue is communication—or the lack of it. A 2021 survey by the Kinsey Institute found that 43% of young adults assume exclusivity in relationships without discussing it, often leading to hurt . Here, the guy saw “I love you” as a vow of loyalty; she saw it as an emotion, not a contract. Both have valid lenses, but the disconnect sparked betrayal.

Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, notes, “Love triggers attachment, but modern dating often delays commitment”. The girlfriend’s actions reflect a culture where casual encounters persist until exclusivity is spelled out. Yet, her long-held feelings for him make her choice jarring, suggesting a gap in emotional alignment.

For the future, clear conversations about boundaries early on could prevent such heartache. He might reflect on what commitment means to him, while she could clarify her intentions upfront.

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Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit jumped in with gusto, serving up shock, support, and a dash of humor. From questioning the girlfriend’s logic to debating dating norms, the comments are a lively mix. Here’s what they had to say:

Trailsya − NTA. My god. That is just weird af.. In love for a long time, she finally got the guy and then an ONS with someone else??. I really wonder what dimension she came from, but it's not a normal one.. Yeah, so big fat NTA.

Kitchen-Chemical-159 − Absolutely NTA, if someone tells me they have been.'in love with me' for a while and we started dating each other, I would expect exclusivity. However, in today's dating and h**kup culture it can be viewed both ways. In my opinion, I would say NTA. I would be devastated if this was I going through it. And 100% done.

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NefariousnessFresh24 − So she's 'in love with you', but goes on to have one-night stands?. NTA, once you drop the L-bomb, your days of f**king around are over

Apart-Incident-4188 − She wanted a bf, but wanted her cake also. GTFO

Punchandpiee − How can you love someone and still f**k someone else 🤦

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RidiculousTee − I'm just wondering, in US you guys need always talk with gf/bf about this exclusivity?. It isn't normal that when you are dating someone you're exclusive for each other?. I'm from Europe and just reading these stories to practice my English. This exclusivity topic appears so many times that I think I need to ask my fiance if we are exclusive

chez2202 − NTA.. The only person she loves is herself.

Vyckerz − NTA - like how does somebody tell you she’s loved you for a long time and is so happy that you’re together now and then immediately hooks up with a one night stand?!!. This is where there is a disconnect for me in the mentality of young people today with dating .

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I understand even in the old days there was “going steady“ versus dating but these days it’s been taken to a complete extreme where you are considered to be completely free to sleep with whoever you want until some particular magic word is spoken by both of you.

No matter what has gone on in the relationship up to the point or who has expressed love, it doesn’t matter. If nobody says “exclusivity”, they’re free to do whatever they want.. It’s stupid. And if a guy complains about any of this, he’s an incel.

Sensitive_Ad2681 − NTA, wtf. Sorry but I had to laugh at the absurdity of it. Nobody in their right mind getting into a relationship with someone and confessing their love for one another... would assume the relationship wasn't exclusive. I have a feeling she knowingly cheated and then started to feel bad so she cooked up the 'we weren't exclusive' thing to try and get out of it. Even if that's not the case, it's very bizarre that she would assume this relationship wasn't exclusive.

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desolecomplique7 − Yeah that’s not love, that’s more like love bombing on her end I think? I am so sorry you went through that.

These Reddit hot takes are bold, but do they capture the full picture or just fan the flames? One thing’s clear: this breakup has everyone buzzing about love and loyalty.

This tale of love gone awry reminds us that even the sweetest confessions can hide misunderstandings. The guy’s hurt stems from a belief that love implies loyalty, while his girlfriend’s actions reflect a looser dating code. Their clash shows communication is king in romance. What would you do if love and expectations didn’t align? Share your stories—have you ever navigated a dating disconnect like this?

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