AITAH for being “stingy” and not being on board with an over the top wedding?

Imagine a cozy dinner with both families, toasting to love and new beginnings, only for the mood to sour like a popped champagne cork. For one groom-to-be, his fiancée’s sudden pivot from a simple wedding to a Maldives extravaganza—bankrolled by his cherished inheritance—has turned joy into a financial tug-of-war. Caught between honoring his grandmother’s wishes and dodging accusations of being “stingy,” he’s left navigating a storm of family drama and clashing values, with love itself on the line.

This saga sparkles with tension, blending heartfelt intentions with cold cash realities. Who hasn’t faced a moment where money tests a relationship? The groom’s stand to protect his inheritance pulls us into a whirlwind of loyalty, love, and the cost of “I do,” begging the question: when does a dream wedding become a dealbreaker?

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‘AITAH for being “stingy” and not being on board with an over the top wedding?’

This Reddit post lays bare a clash of dreams and dollars that’s as gripping as a soap opera. Here’s the groom’s account of his wedding woes and family fallout:

I (28M) recently received an inheritance from my late grandmother who I was very close to. It was made clear to me that this money was for me and my future family / for building a future. My fiancée (27F) (let’s call her Hannah) and I got engaged several months ago and have been together for 4 years.

We’ve both discussed wedding well before I even proposed and always agreed that we didn’t want a “crazy” wedding and would opt for something small and intimate. The past couple weeks Hannah has suggested a bigger venue a few times, which I was okay with, then that turned into designer dresses and things of the like.

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We had a few disagreements and were working on compromising on a few things budget wise. (Note: my parents wanted to pay for the wedding, and her parents wanted to help out a bit as well) Everything was mostly fine until last night when both our families went out to dinner after touring a potential venue.

Hannah shows me some pictures and says she wants a destination wedding in The Maldives. I asked her to speak privately then asked her what happened to the intimate wedding we originally talked about and who does she think is going to pay for all of this as my parents were only expecting to pay for something small and I wasnt going to take advantage of their kind gesture.

Hannah then said that we can use our inheritance. I reminded her what my grandmothers wishes were and she responded that it’s our money and a wedding counts as “building a future.” I said that I think that money could be put to better use and she said I was being stingy right before her mother came over to us and started saying things like “you can’t put a price on love” and “now’s not the time to worry about money and prenups and what not.”

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As I was asking Hannah’s mother “who said anything about prenups just yet?” My parents as well as Hannah’s father came over. Both of our mothers got into it, and we each went our separate ways for the night once things got under control somewhat. My parents are telling me not to budge and had a conversation with me about reevaluating marrying Hannah.

Our parents are furious with each other. I feel the money could be put to better use than blowing almost a quarter of it on one night. I asked Hannah to come back home so we can talk things out but I’m wondering AITAH?

Wedding bells shouldn’t sound like a cash register’s cha-ching, but for this couple, a dream destination wedding has become a financial flashpoint. The groom’s fiancée, Hannah, sees the inheritance as “our money” for a lavish Maldives bash, while he clings to his grandmother’s vision of a secure future. Her family’s pressure, especially her mother’s “price on love” quip, escalates the rift, revealing a deeper clash over financial values and boundaries.

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This scenario reflects broader trends in wedding spending. A 2023 The Knot study found 61% of couples exceed their wedding budgets, often straining relationships. Hannah’s shift from modest to extravagant suggests external influences, while the groom’s stance protects his autonomy.

Financial expert Suze Orman advises, “Money decisions in relationships must align with shared goals, or resentment festers”. Here, Hannah’s dismissal of the inheritance’s purpose risks long-term trust. The groom’s hesitation isn’t stinginess—it’s prudence.

The couple could benefit from a candid budget talk, perhaps with a financial planner, to align priorities. A prenup, as some Redditors suggest, could safeguard the inheritance.

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Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s crew dove in like wedding crashers with opinions sharper than a cake knife! Here’s what the community dished out on this inheritance showdown:

PlumMajor2925 − Money changes people.. You all are no longer on the same page. What will you do about it?

knintn − NTA I agree with your parents. It’s YOUR inheritance. Not OUR inheritance. Re-evaluate, if you stay, get a prenup. In this economy, you should save as much as you can. And I’m pretty sure inheritances aren’t considered joint assets. But CYA.

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Salty_Thing3144 − NTA and tell her you think a prenup is a good idea, because it is. Protect your inheritance. NO is not a dirty word, and telling her you don't want that kind of wedding does not make you a bad person.

PastMinimum7632 − NTA. Hannah and her family will blow through that inheritance if you let them. You aren't even married and yet she calls it 'our money' like she is part of it. You need to think hard about if you want to marry her and have to constantly watch your financial situation. She may spend you into the poor house.

cthulularoo − Who is going to pay to go to your wedding in the Maldives? Is she suggesting you guys pay to cover everyone? Just the immediate family? If you look in this sub, you'll find a recent post about a destination wedding to the Maldives and no one came.. NTA, listen to your parents. Prenup, if you're still pulling the trigger after she's shown her colors.

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TravelingTechie − DO NOT MARRY HER. Your parents are giving you good advice. NTA.

Snoopysbiggestfan − NTA. I’m pretty sure a lot of people would not be flying to the Maldives for a wedding. You should listen to your parents because clearly the recent flow of money has changed Hannah.

CommunicationIll4819 − Do not marry her. That is really irresponsible and stupid of her to think that spending this money on a wedding is 'building a future'. Maybe you should talk about a prenup. At the least, put the wedding on hold and talk with her.

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Pageybear13 − That is the thing. It's not OUR money. An inheritance is your money. She is already being fiscally irresponsible with it. Even if you decide to marry this obvious red flag, DO NOT comingle your money ever with your marital assets.. Inheritance is not subject to divorce rules unless you comingle..

Personally i would call off the wedding or bare minimum postpone. She is showing who she really is and you should believe her. It is just lucky that it came out before you said I do. NTA

Ireland1169 − NTA. Do not marry her, do not have a joint bank account with her, never pay her credit card bill. If you marry her you will always be poor or in debt because she is all window dressing & will always want the 'bling' not the practical, like a roof over her head.

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Look at her parents, that is who she is, her mother interfered in a private conversation about YOUR money, Its not OUR money its Your money & I would keep it that way. The interference will never stop from the ILs, it will always be 3 against 1.

These takes are bold, but do they cut through the drama, or just add frosting to the chaos?

This groom’s tale is a glittering mess of love, money, and family feuds, reminding us that weddings can test more than just vows. His stand to protect his inheritance, met with cries of “stingy,” sparks a debate about priorities and partnership. Is a dream wedding worth a financial rift, or should love trump lavish plans? This story hits close to home, urging us to weigh in. What would you do if your partner’s wedding vision clashed with your values? Drop your thoughts below and let’s toast to this juicy dilemma!

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