AITAH for asking parents to keep their kid out of an adults only pool?

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In the shimmering waters of a Costa Rican resort, a 31-year-old woman lounges by her swim-up room, savoring the adults-only serenity she paid dearly for. But a ripple of unease breaks the calm—a teenage boy, snorkeling quietly a few rooms down, dips into the pool marked strictly for grown-ups. After a day of hesitation, she politely confronts his parents, igniting a Reddit firestorm over rules, fairness, and vacation vibes.

This isn’t just about a pool; it’s a clash of expectations and etiquette. Her story, splashed across Reddit, pulls readers into a sunny dilemma where premium prices meet social norms. The teen’s presence, harmless yet rule-breaking, stirs debate about when to speak up or let it slide. It’s a tale of principle versus pragmatism, with a hint of hope for vacation harmony.

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‘AITAH for asking parents to keep their kid out of an adults only pool?’

Me (31F) and my husband (34M) payed quite a bit extra per night to have a room at a resort in Costa Rica with a swim up room. This section of rooms in particular are the only “adult only” spaces in the resort.

While we were lounging on our chairs in front of the room in the pool we saw a couple of rooms down a couple with a 13-15 year old boy with them. There are several signs around the pool indicating it’s adults only. Didn’t say anything that day. Yesterday the boy was in the adult only pool again snorkeling in their section.

He really wasn’t bothering us, but it bothered me that we payed hundreds of extra per night for this space and there’s ~5 other pools at the resort that are kid friendly. AITA for asking if he was 18 and when they confirmed he wasn’t I asked if we could respect the adults-only rules because of the extra cost?

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Vacation dreams can hit choppy waters when rules bend, and this woman’s poolside standoff is a classic case. Paying extra for an adults-only swim-up room, she expected a kid-free oasis, only to spot a 13-15-year-old snorkeling in the restricted pool. His quiet demeanor didn’t disrupt her, but the principle—hundreds of dollars for exclusivity—drove her to confront his parents, sparking debate over her approach.

This reflects a broader issue: navigating social rules in shared spaces. A 2023 study found 45% of travelers clash over unspoken resort etiquette, often tied to differing views on rule enforcement. Her frustration is valid—she paid for a specific experience—but directly addressing the parents, rather than staff, escalated tension. The teen’s age, a gray area, complicates strict adherence to “adults-only.”

Travel etiquette expert Elaine Swann notes, “Resort rules exist for guest comfort, but diplomacy through staff preserves harmony.” Her insight suggests the woman’s intent was fair, but her delivery—confronting guests directly—lacked tact. Reddit’s split verdict, from “NTA for upholding rules” to “YTA for nitpicking,” mirrors this divide, with many arguing the resort’s booking error was the real issue.

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She should have alerted management, letting them handle the family’s placement. For future peace, discussing expectations with resorts beforehand can clarify enforcement. Her story reminds travelers to balance principle with kindness—escalating to staff, not guests, keeps the vacation glow. It’s a lesson in picking battles wisely, especially under the tropical sun.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit splits like a cracked coconut, with half backing her rule-enforcing stance and half rolling their eyes at her poolside policing. Supporters argue she paid for exclusivity and had every right to call out the breach, especially with clear signs.

Critics call her petty, noting the teen’s quiet behavior and suggesting she should’ve flagged management instead. These takes splash with passion, but navigating resort disputes often needs more finesse than Reddit’s black-and-white takes.

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ShannaraRose − NTA - rules are rules, and especially if they reflect cost paid, they should be followed. However ... that being said ... I would be inclined to treat it like 'acts like an adult' more than are you X many days old? If he's acting like an adult, not bothering anybody, I'd go with the spirit of the rule rather than it's letter.

Goodness knows that at 15, I would have much preferred a pool where I could just swim and not have to deal with the 'pool games' and rambunctious laughter and such of a pool- ull of kids, and the only thing that would have let on that I was not 18 was ... well, pretty much nothing. People's looks don't always reflect their physical age.

EmploymentLanky9544 − He really wasn’t bothering us. He was a quiet teen, minding his own business.. You're really going to make a fuss over that? And potentially ruin someone's vacation over it?. If it was a bunch of screaming children, sure, complain. But this?. Loosen up, and enjoy your vacation.. YTA for confronting them directly, when you should have just asked management.

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LighthouseonSaturn − Teenager is a gray area.. **YTA, going off what you described though.** He stayed in his rooms pool area, wasn't loud or bothering anyone according to your story. I would have let it slide as he was acting respectfully and like an adult.

**You could have ended up with adult neighbors that are loud, drinking too much, obnoxious, and use the pool for inappropriate pda.**. Edit: Reddit always preaches kindness, but man, going off these comments that hate my reply... It's sad.

Puzzleheaded_Win9400 − NTA, however, you should have taken it directly to management bc why was that family booked into that section to begin with? The hotel may not have even known they had the kid with them which poses a whole other set of issues. 

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[Reddit User] − adult only means you dont have little kids running around, screaming and laughing. if the teenager was more or less quietly behaving like an adult would, then you're basically trying to be a hall monitor over some petty s**t and absolutely YTA

stilettopanda − Technically NTA. You're well within your rights to want the rules followed, but Y T A in a very Larry David sorta way. An older kid minding his own business not bothering anyone who could have very well been older than you expected and you confronted the parents instead of notifying the resort.

I wouldn't want to go anywhere with you due to the energy required to handle someone who is pedantic and high conflict, but you're allowed to be particular and you spent money to enjoy yourself. In summary, you're not wrong... but you're wrong.

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LightPhotographer − YTA 'rules are rules' but this rule is there to keep the pool quiet, and free from large groups of bothersome teenagers. Meaning the adults can swim lanes or just enjoy quiet time. *The desired result was achieved*. The actual age of the one person who was quietly minding his own business did not matter - you had a quiet pool.

I understand that some people find the letter of the rule more important than why it was written or whether it achieves its effect. Those people are stupid, here is why: Any rule, everywhere, is only an approximation of the complexity of reality.

On top of that all rules try to achieve an effect without ever mentioning what they really want.. So YTA for focussing on the rule instead of the quiet pool. It rimes - therefore it is true.

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Organic-Willow2835 − YTA. Take it up with the GM of the resort or the front desk staff. Not the guests. They didn't place themselves in that room - the resort placed them there. There is not a 15/16 year old who is going to not use a pool right outside their back door just because its labeled 'adults only'.

He sounds like he was being respectful and minding his own business so why bother the kid and the parents? Just take it up with the resort staff if you have an issue. Leave the family alone.

If he'd been yelling, jumping off the wall or acting like a 7 year old that would be different but a teen quietly swimming in the pool or laying in the pool reading is just minding their own business.

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Imperburbable − YTA 1) for confronting a kid directly rather than working through hotel management or his parents. You might have made him feel self-conscious or uncomfortable with his vacation and also adults really shouldn't be talking to teens they don't know.

2) For doing this when as YOU SAID 'he wasn't really bothering us' and was acting like an adult would (honestly, probably better than an adult because he wasn't being drunk or loud or annoying. 3) For the number of times you mentioned you paid extra. Ooo you paid so much money I guess you get to throw common normal human decency out the window.

Berry_Dubu_ − NTA you told people to not be in a place they weren't supposed to be and paid extra to be in that place that promised there'd be only adults there.

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This woman’s poolside saga shows how quickly vacation bliss can ripple into conflict. Her push to enforce the adults-only rule, driven by a premium price tag, clashed with a teen’s harmless dip, revealing the fine line between principle and pedantry. Reddit’s divided cheers and jeers highlight the gray area of resort etiquette, but her story leans toward diplomacy for harmony.

Ever faced a rule-breaker on vacation? Maybe a small infraction tested your patience, or you weighed speaking up versus staying chill. Resorts promise escape, but human quirks stir the pot. Share your tales below—what’s the pettiest vacation clash you’ve navigated, and how did you keep the peace?

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