AITA My girlfriend doesn’t want me to run the A/C because she’s cold but it’s 80 degrees in the house?

In a swelteringly unbearable bedroom, where the air clings like a too-warm embrace, a couple’s dinner of steaming spaghetti becomes a battleground. The thermostat reads a toasty 80°F, and while one partner craves the cool relief of the A/C, the other shivers at the thought. It’s a classic clash of comfort zones, where a single chuckle sparks a walkout and a cozy blanket jacket lies unused.

This tale of thermostat tyranny unfolds with a relatable sting. The original poster (OP) navigates sweaty discomfort and his girlfriend’s frosty feelings, as their spat escalates from a minor laugh to a guest-room retreat. A simple A/C switch stirs unexpected drama, drawing readers into a familiar dance of compromise and conflict.

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‘AITA My girlfriend doesn’t want me to run the A/C because she’s cold but it’s 80 degrees in the house?’

We were eating dinner in our bedroom and I turned on the A/C unit and while I was eating I noticed it wasn’t on and I didn’t realize she’d turned it off and I asked her if it just went off by itself and she said no I turned it off I’m cold. Our main thermostat says it’s 80 degrees in our house.

Were eating hot bowls of spaghetti on top of that and when she told me that I just laughed a little bit and went back to eating my food and she grabbed all of her primary items, phone, food etc and went to the guest bedroom to eat and turned the a/c on when she left.

I don’t understand why she can’t just wear a blanket I bought her a blanket jacket and I also don’t know why she has to be so quick to blow up over little things I was literally just going to try to get over it but because my reaction wasn’t what she wanted she straight up left the room.

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She is really skinny so I understand if she’s colder than me but still I don’t see how it’s reasonable for her to act like that instead of just wearing the blanket jacket I bought her. I don’t think it’s reasonable for me to strip down n**ed to combat the heat and just sit here eating like that.

Thermostat disputes can feel like a rom-com gone wrong, with both sides digging in over their version of “comfort.” The OP faces a girlfriend who’s quick to shut off the A/C and storm out, leaving him to stew in more ways than one. The core issue lies in a failure to communicate and compromise. She’s chilly, he’s roasting, and neither seems ready to meet in the middle.

This scenario reflects a broader relationship dynamic: navigating small but persistent conflicts. A 2023 study by the Gottman Institute shows minor disagreements can escalate when partners don’t validate each other’s feelings. The OP’s laugh, however light, might have felt dismissive to his girlfriend, triggering her retreat. Her refusal to layer up leaves him feeling unheard.

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Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Successful couples don’t avoid conflict; they repair it by acknowledging each other’s perspectives.” The girlfriend’s cold sensitivity—possibly tied to low body weight or a condition like anemia—deserves empathy, not a chuckle. Her dramatic exit, however, shuts down dialogue, leaving the OP to sweat it out literally and figuratively.

Household temperature wars often mirror deeper issues of respect and compromise. A 2021 survey by OnePoll found 62% of couples argue over thermostat settings, with women more likely to feel cold. Solutions could include personal fixes like heated throws for her or a fan for him, paired with open conversation. Both need to listen, perhaps over a cooler meal in the kitchen next time.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit weighs in with a mix of fiery support and cool-headed takes on this thermostat tussle. Most sympathize with the OP, arguing 80°F is too warm and layering up is easier than stripping down.

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Others show understanding for the girlfriend’s chilly plight, suggesting health issues or discomfort with the blanket jacket might explain her reaction. The consensus leans toward compromise, with a dash of humor over the couple’s bedroom dining quirks.

Hey_McFly_18 − So when I get too hot I get o**rwhelmed and irritated easily. I’m the one that gets hot easy and my SO gets cold. I tell him put on more clothes. I can only take so many off. I get compromising of course, but 80 in the house? I’d be raging. She definitely could have handled that better than walking off like that. How would she feel if the roles were reversed?

Euphoric_Travel2541 − If it’s truly 80 degrees inside, NTA for turning the AC on. But I have questions: why are you eating meals in your bedrooms, rather than the kitchen or dining room?. And could she have a metabolic issue or other health issue that keeps her so cold?

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And could she possibly dislike the blanket jacket you bought and just prefer to be in a warmer temp with fewer clothes on?. In any case, NTA. But get to the bottom of the issue. You two should be able to compromise.

EscapeFromDemonSpawn − The general rule in our house is that if it’s hot for one person, the AC goes on. The other person, if they are cold, puts on more clothes. It is far easier to get warm by adding clothes, than to strip n**ed and still be hot.

EffableFornent − Nta, but she might need her thyroid checked or something. 

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CreativeMusic5121 − 80 in the house is unreasonable so NTA for that. She can put on a sweater. I'm baffled why y'all are eating dinner in the bedroom, then she goes to another bedroom to finish eating. Don't you have a kitchen, dining room, living room?

throwaway1975764 − Just FYI for many people, blankets *keep* them warm, but do little to actually warm them up. My feet, or hands, etc will feel icy (to me, *and* to others who touch them) for hours under thick blankets and flannel sheets. I need to actually have something external warm them, then blankets/socks/sweaters will keep me warm.

There is nothing medically wrong, I just don't well in cold. I am perfectly comfortable during heat waves tho. Different strokes for different folks. It does seem your gf is quick to overreact, but please try to have some sympathy that feeling freezing is just as uncomfortable as being hot, you aren't more worthy of a temp you prefer. You both deserve comfort equally and need to find a way to get there.

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justlemmeread − Listen. I'm anemic and have spent my entire life cold all the time. My hands and feet are like ice cubes. It sucks but I realize that I am the problem there, and everyone around me finds 80 degrees unbearable for good reason. I wear hoodies as needed and socks if I'm really feeling froggy.

It's easy to layer up, there are only so many layers you can take off. Your gf is not only being unreasonable about the temperature but she's being ridiculous with her attitude about it too. You're NTA for not wanting it to be 80 degrees and for being surprised that she would shut the AC off at a temperature like that.

DarkSkyStarDance − Laughs in Australian! It’s 26c today and beautiful, our aircon is usually set to 23 to get it down to 26 in summer. ESH for both refusing to compromise.

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Strange-Broccoli-393 − NTA, softly. I'm one of the cold-all-the-time people. If I sit still, I can get cold even when it's a pleasant 82F indoors. It's probably my anemia, or lousy circulation, but putting cold feet in thick socks leads to ...cold feet in thick socks.

I do try not to annoy my exceptionally warm blooded spouse with thermostat wars, and will try hot tea or jumping jacks or something energetic when it's really uncomfortable. I understand that there's no respite from the ambient temperature of the house when it's unpleasantly warm for him.

But I do have to note - eating in a thick jacket with sleeves is annoying and messy, if it's the blanket-y sort I'm thinking of. And it's depressing to be laughed at when you're cold.

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An electric throw for her side of the bed, maybe? Those glove/boot warmers for outdoor sports, maybe? Something that is confined to her immediate space, perhaps?

Patricio_Guapo − I don't think you're an a-hole, but I would quite happily never set my AC above 80°.. I generally find the entire world is over-air conditoned. 80° is a lovely temperature.

From a steamy bedroom to a frosty fallout, this couple’s A/C spat proves small sparks can ignite big drama. It’s a reminder that relationships thrive on compromise, not control of the thermostat. Whether it’s layering up or cooling down, finding balance is key. Share your thoughts—how do you keep the peace when comfort zones collide?

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