AITA if I stop giving my friend rides and he ends up getting fired because of it?

A 20-year-old woman recently found herself questioning a friendship after months of doing a favor that slowly turned into a daily obligation. She had been giving her 22-year-old friend rides to work whenever he asked, especially on days when he couldn’t borrow his father’s truck. At first, helping out seemed reasonable. Over time, however, the situation began to feel less like a favor and more like a responsibility she never agreed to.

The commute itself was far from simple. Picking him up, dropping him off, and returning home meant driving dozens of miles each day. What made things worse was how persistent he and his girlfriend became whenever she didn’t answer the phone. Repeated calls would flood her phone until she eventually gave in. Now she is wondering if stepping away from the arrangement would make her responsible if he ends up losing his job.

‘AITA if I stop giving my friend rides and he ends up getting fired because of it?’

A young woman explained how helping a friend slowly became an exhausting routine.

I 20F have been giving my friend 22M a ride to work when he needs it for a few months now. He has a license but no truck of his...

His dad lets him use his truck sometimes but when he doesn’t, he calls me or our mutual friend.

But when neither of us pick up he and his girlfriend will spam call us 5-10+ times until we give in regardless of it it interferes with our jobs/other plans...

The situation quickly became inconvenient because the commute required a huge amount of driving every day.

On top of this the trip for me and our mutual friend is 50-60 miles a day if we go pick up this guy from his dads apartment, take him...

Eventually she began wondering if refusing to help would make her responsible for the consequences.

So, AITA if I stop taking him to work and he gets fired because of it? I’d feel terrible if he did get fired but honestly I can’t be available...

and this guy refuses to take an Uber. He’s even called off work/been 20 minutes to an hour late because of his lack of responsibility.

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Later, she shared more details about the situation and why she began reconsidering the friendship.

EDIT: I just want to say thank you to everyone who’s helping me realize this is an unhealthy & toxic situation/friend.

The amount of responses is a little overwhelming for me so I’m sorry if I don’t respond to everyone but I just want y’all to know grateful,

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and I will be learning how to set boundaries in this situation and every single one going forward because I am tired of being taken advantage of. To answer some...

1. No he doesn’t pay for gas anymore after his GF moved in.

2. His GF has no car or license and actually just lost her job recently because of their lack of reliable transportation causing her to be late one too many...

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3. Our mutual friend is a lot like me and likely won’t stop giving him rides/being a doormat because he’s just too nice honestly. 4. I do not work at...

Situations like this often highlight the thin line between helping a friend and being taken advantage of. Many friendships involve occasional favors, especially when someone faces temporary challenges such as transportation problems or scheduling conflicts. However, when one person consistently relies on another without offering compensation or effort toward a solution, the relationship can quickly become unbalanced.

In this case, the poster’s concerns stem from both practical and emotional factors. Driving 50–60 miles each day is a significant commitment in terms of time, fuel costs, and energy. When favors reach that scale, they begin to affect the helper’s own responsibilities and daily life. The repeated phone calls described in the story may also contribute to feelings of pressure or guilt, making it difficult for someone to say no even when they feel overwhelmed.

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From a broader perspective, healthy friendships generally include mutual respect and shared responsibility. When someone depends entirely on others to solve their recurring problems, it can signal a deeper issue with accountability. Setting boundaries in situations like this can feel uncomfortable, yet it is often necessary to maintain balance in relationships and prevent resentment from building over time.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Many users strongly supported the woman’s decision to stop providing rides.

moonvhxld − NTA you should stick up more for yourself! You're not his personal Uber and this can even compromise your work too, you won't always be free to give...

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t-rex_on_a_bike − NTA. He's saving money by refusing to buy a truck, but is okay with you shouldering the time and effort it takes to drive him to and from...

Why is his GF getting involved with spamming your phone? Like who is she actually? Drop this clown

[Reddit User] − NTA. I think it would be unreasonable to expect a partner to do that, let alone a friend. Just tell him you aren’t available to drive anymore....

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cat-lover76 − But when neither of us pick up he and his girlfriend will spam call us 5-10+ times until we give in regardless of it it interferes with our...

The first time this happened, this guy and his girlfriend would have been permanently blocked by me. I'm wondering why you haven't done this. How exactly does this couple enhance...

Do they do kind things for you? Invite you over for meals or take you out for dinner? Do you favors of any kind when you need help? Why in...

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SwiftieMendes − I should add he works at a grocery store by my house and could easily work at the exact same chain grocery store by his apartment or the...

Some commenters offered practical advice about setting boundaries and handling the situation calmly.

snootnoots − NTA, sheesh! Give him advance warning that you’re not doing it any more and it’s now his responsibility to find his own way to work, then change his...

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Tell your friend you’re doing this so they can block him too. If he gets fired it’s NOT your fault, he’s an adult and needs to start acting like one!

GermanCat34 − NTA drop this friendship because it’s not actually a friendship

Fluid_Presence_1623 − NTA he’s taking advantage of you.

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A few responses used humor and blunt honesty to point out the imbalance.

Deucalion666 − NTA especially since he doesn’t give you anything towards fuel. He’s not your friend, he’s just using you.

jwjnthrowawaykfeiofj − NTA No good deed goes unpunished. He and his gf are playing you for a sucker. Not even paying for gas is like him laughing up his sleeve...

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He gets to take your time and money and you get harassed into the bargain. You're like a badly-treated unpaid servant.

With all of the disrespect you have been given I would just cut him off and tell him to find his own way even if that means paying for an...

swollen to massive size with entitlement, to work. His woes are his alone. He can buy a truck or get another job. Not your problem.

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The story raises a common dilemma in friendships: when does helping someone cross the line into being taken advantage of? While the woman initially offered rides as a friendly gesture, the repeated demands, long drives, and lack of compensation gradually turned the situation into a heavy burden.

It also sparks a broader conversation about personal responsibility and boundaries. Should friends feel obligated to continue helping when the other person refuses to find their own solution? Or is it reasonable to step back, even if the outcome might be inconvenient for someone else?

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