AITA? I told my fiancé I would not take care of an English bulldog if we got one?
Imagine a couple debating over the ultimate pet dilemma—where one partner’s cherished childhood memories clash with another’s practical concerns. One 28-year-old man recently laid down the law: if they ever get a bulldog, he won’t be taking care of it.
His fiancé, who adores English Bulldogs and comes from a family steeped in breeding and dog shows, dreams of owning a top-notch, championship-winning pup. However, he argues that the breed’s notorious health issues, high maintenance, and extensive care requirements would unfairly fall on him given his work schedule.
This disagreement isn’t just about a pet; it’s about balancing nostalgia and practicality, ethical considerations, and the division of responsibilities in a relationship. Want the juicy details? Dive into the original story below!
‘AITA? I told my fiancé I would not take care of an English bulldog if we got one?’
When pet preferences ignite disputes in relationships, it often reveals deeper issues of shared responsibility and lifestyle alignment. Dr. Melissa Hart, a relationship and pet care expert, notes, “Choosing a pet is a significant decision that should align with both partners’ lifestyles and values. It’s not just about personal preference; it’s about who is willing and able to commit to the daily responsibilities of pet care.” (Learn more at Psychology Today).
Dr. Hart explains that ethical concerns over breeding practices are increasingly common. “For many, owning a pet is a moral decision as much as a practical one. If one partner is uncomfortable with the ethical implications of a breed’s production and the potential health risks that accompany it, this concern must be addressed openly,” she adds. The OP’s position is not a rejection of pets altogether; rather, it is a firm stance against a breed he finds problematic due to its high maintenance needs and potential for expensive health issues.
She emphasizes that in any partnership, clear communication is key. “Both partners need to discuss their expectations and responsibilities regarding pet care. If one partner is expected to shoulder most of the work—especially when it involves a breed known for complications—this imbalance can lead to long-term resentment,” Dr. Hart continues. This is particularly relevant when considering the OP’s current work schedule, which would leave him to handle most of the day-to-day care for an English Bulldog.
Moreover, Dr. Hart points out that pet ownership should enhance a couple’s life rather than create undue stress. “When a pet is brought into a relationship, it should be a joint decision that takes into account both partners’ capabilities and desires.
If the potential pet would lead to an unequal distribution of care or conflict over ethical values, it’s prudent to explore alternatives that both can agree upon.” By suggesting that couples consider other, lower-maintenance options, Dr. Hart reinforces the idea that mutual agreement is paramount when adding a new member to the family. In this case, the OP’s refusal reflects a well-considered stance on maintaining balance and fairness within the relationship.
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
Reddit’s taking a stand on this one, and it’s as clear as day—most users agree with the OP. One commenter pointed out that his list of reasons is comprehensive and logical: ethical concerns, potential health issues, and an imbalanced division of care simply don’t add up in his favor. Another user suggested that if his fiancé truly wants a bulldog, she should be ready to assume more responsibility, especially when he’s already stretched thin with work.
A third voice argued that in any relationship, pet decisions must be mutual, and his refusal is not a dismissal of pets in general but a stand against an unfair burden. Lastly, a few community members humorously noted that the OP’s practical approach makes him the sensible choice, while his fiancé’s nostalgia might just be too idealistic for real-life pet care.
This pet predicament is more than just a disagreement over a breed—it’s a clash of values and lifestyle choices that reveals the challenges of shared responsibility. While the fiancé’s love for English Bulldogs is steeped in cherished childhood memories, the OP’s practical concerns about ethics, health, and fairness are equally valid.
How should couples navigate such deeply personal decisions about pet ownership? What would you do if you were in a similar situation, where a beloved tradition conflicts with everyday reality? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s discuss how to strike a balance between heart and practicality in our relationships.
