AITA for wanting my parents to pay me the money back that my brother stole from me?
A university student is fed up after their 14-year-old brother has been stealing cash, earbuds, and alcohol from their room for nearly two years. They work hard for every dollar to save for school, but whenever cash appears—in a wallet, purse, or desk—it disappears. The brother even admitted to the theft when confronted, laughing it off, yet nothing has been repaid.
The parents blame the student for not hiding things better, even though it’s their own home and room. Frustrated and broke, the student is considering asking the parents to reimburse the stolen amount (over $150 recently, plus earlier losses). They know it’s not the parents’ fault directly, but feel every dollar counts. Is it unreasonable to expect them to cover what their son took?
‘AITA for wanting my parents to pay me the money back that my brother stole from me?’
The problem started almost two years ago with small disappearances of cash:
Since returning home from university, the thefts have escalated significantly:
The parents refuse to hold the brother accountable and shift the blame:
This situation reveals a troubling family dynamic where parental responsibility is being shifted onto the victim rather than the perpetrator. At 14, the brother is old enough to understand stealing is wrong—it’s not a “kid thing” anymore. Consistent theft over two years, plus escalation to alcohol and valuables, signals a pattern that needs firm intervention, not excuses.
Parents blaming the student for not hiding things better is classic victim-blaming. A child’s bedroom is their private space; expecting someone to lock up valuables in their own home sends the message that theft is tolerated if the victim doesn’t prevent it. This approach fails to teach accountability and can normalize criminal behavior.
From a developmental psychology standpoint, teenagers who steal repeatedly often do so because boundaries are weak or consequences are absent. Experts (including those from the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry) stress that parents must address theft directly—through restitution, loss of privileges, and open discussion—rather than ignoring it. Asking the parents to repay the stolen amount is reasonable because they are legally responsible for their minor child’s actions and have failed to prevent ongoing harm.
Financially, the student is right: every dollar matters when saving for education. While not the parents’ direct fault, their inaction has enabled the losses. A fair compromise could be parents covering part (or all) while enforcing real consequences on the brother (e.g., chores to “repay” them, no screen time, etc.). If they refuse, the student might consider practical steps: a lockbox/door lock, immediate banking of cash, or limiting valuables at home.
Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:
The Reddit community overwhelmingly supported the student, calling the parents enablers and the brother a thief in the making, with many suggesting strong measures:
Most people blasted the parents for victim-blaming and failing to parent:
Many suggested practical revenge or escalation to force accountability:
A few recommended security measures and long-term solutions:
Stealing from a sibling, especially repeatedly, isn’t “kids being kids”—it’s a serious boundary violation that parents must address. You’re not wrong to want reimbursement; your hard-earned money shouldn’t vanish without consequence.
Your parents’ blame-shifting is unfair and harmful. Protect yourself with locks, banking cash immediately, or even involving authorities if needed. You deserve respect in your own home. Have you dealt with theft in your family? What steps did you take? Share below—we’re here for you.
