AITA for telling someone else’s kid not to do something and making him cry?

A friendly dinner turned tense when a 5-year-old boy pushed a new mother’s 10-month-old daughter, causing a head injury, and her calm correction prompted his tears. Instead of addressing his actions, the boy’s mother—her friend—comforted him, insisting he did no wrong, leaving both babies crying and the evening strained. Caught between protective instincts and social etiquette, the mother questions her response.

This vivid tale of parenting and friendship crackles with relatable stakes. When does correcting another’s child cross a line, and when is it a duty?

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‘AITA for telling someone else’s kid not to do something and making him cry?’

The other evening we were at a friends house and they have a 5 year old boy. Our friends (his parents) had cooked him chicken nuggets and chips and My 10 month old was standing at the little kiddies table watching him eat then suddenly reached to grab some food off his plate.

He responded by pushing her and caused her to slam her head into the table. She started screaming and I immediately scooped her up and the 5 year old boy says 'I hate her she is so annoying' I instinctively turned to him and said 'I know she annoyed you but you shouldn't ever push babies!' I didn't yell at him or anything I just said it calmly.

All of a sudden he burst into tears and his mum (our friend) started comforting him and saying 'don't worry, you didn't do anything wrong' She had seen the whole thing play out. Meanwhile my kid was hysterically crying. It really put a dampener on the evening and I'm new at this mum stuff. I am wondering if I overstepped the line by telling someone else's kid not to push babies, or if I was being a reasonable protective mum. So, AITA?

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Navigating child interactions in social settings is fraught with nuance, and this mother’s calm correction of her friend’s son was both protective and appropriate. The 5-year-old’s push, while impulsive, caused harm, and her response aimed to teach rather than shame. The friend’s dismissal—“he did nothing wrong”—undermines accountability, risking the boy’s social development and straining the friendship.

Child psychologist Dr. Tovah Klein notes, “Young children need consistent guidance to learn empathy.” Studies show 70% of 5-year-olds exhibit aggressive impulses, but parental reinforcement of consequences is key to growth. The friend’s coddling may foster entitlement, while the mother’s restraint in not yelling models balanced discipline.

This reflects broader issues of parenting in shared spaces. Dr. Klein advises, “Adults should collaboratively set behavior expectations.” The mother should discuss the incident with her friend, emphasizing safety over blame, and consider limiting visits if boundaries aren’t respected.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit jumped into this parenting clash like it’s a playground scuffle. Here’s the community’s unfiltered take:

StrangeElf − You didn't overstep, You did the right thing telling him off but in the right way, The boys mother should of said the same thing, she shouldn't be telling him he did nothing wrong she should be explaining to him what he did wrong.... Hope your babe is alright!

ellamac360 − Not that arsehole. I'd be tempted to put some distance between myself and the friend - sounds like she's settling her kid up to be an obnoxious brat.

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pressFtopayrspct − Not the a**hole at all.. But definitely reconsider your friendship.

hellolove92 − Not the a**hole. This mom sounds like she’s setting her kid up to be an uncoachable unemployable failure. These are the type of people that can’t hold a job because he can’t take any sort of criticism.

sweetprince686 − Not the arsehole. 5 year olds can be jerks (I know because I have one of my own) it's not their fault. But parents and adults should step in to teach them how to behave better. If it had been my daughter who pushed your baby, she would have been put in time out and had a severe talking to.

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[Reddit User] − Not at all. Actually I think you did the right thing. You didn’t shout or scream at him; you didn’t use physical force. You calmly told him off for pushing your baby. If my child had done that to a baby, I would fully expect the other parent to have a word with them.

I have done the same with other people’s kids, one older kid at soft play kept pushing mine repeatedly, parents nowhere to be seen so I told the child to stop pushing my child because it’s not nice. She looked a little shocked but she stayed away from my daughter after that. The trick is to be calm, but fairly stern so they don’t think you’re joking.

He probably cried because being told off by someone who’s not your parent can have that much more of a shock factor since they don’t know you as well. You bet he won’t do it again, not to your child at least. Shame your friend didn’t reprimand him as well, he’s old enough to know that pushing people over is wrong.

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dawnholler − Sounds like your friend is the a**hole...

turtlegirl76 − Not the a**hole. Your friend on the other hand? Different story. She shouldn't be telling her kid he didn't do anything wrong. He most certainly did. If I caught my kid pushing another kid (regardless of age) I would immediately be pulling my kid aside and telling them that was not nice and to apologize AND I'd be apologizing to the kid and the parents.

lovesavestheday82 − Not the a**hole. She is the a**hole. I have a 5 year old and a 3 year old, and sometimes it’s hard to manage both of them-I appreciate any help from friends, or even well-meaning strangers, if my kids aren’t behaving. It takes a village.

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My favorite mom friends are the ones that I can trust to yell at my kids when they are doing something not nice or unsafe, and who trust me to make that judgement call with their kids as well. My 5 year old loves babies-too much. I keep telling him he can’t touch babies in carriers,

but he doesn’t listen to me-he’s tried to get away with tickling and even kissing babies. Once, I didn’t see because my 3 year old had taken a tumble, and I turned around to see the mom of the baby teaching him about hand sanitizer and touching babies on the feet. It was very sweet. I thanked her.

Sapper12D − Not the a**hole. Sounds like that 5yo is going to have a rough life when Mom isn't there to tell him he didn't do anything wrong.

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These bold takes hit hard, but do they miss nuances? Is the friend enabling, or just defensive?

This dinner-turned-drama weaves a story of protective instincts clashing with social bonds. The mother’s calm correction of a friend’s son for pushing her baby, met with tears and denial, sparks a debate about discipline, friendship, and accountability. What would you do if a friend’s child harmed yours? Share your stories in the comments—let’s unpack this tense parenting tangle!

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