Aita for telling my wife’s best friend ‘i don’t care about how she feels’ after my wife broke their friendship?

In a heated clash, a wife severs ties with her friend after the friend hurls insults at her husband, branding him “controlling” for supporting her decision to skip a girls-only trip abroad. When the ex-friend begs him to mend the rift, he coldly dismisses her, sparking outrage among their circle. His words—“I don’t care how she feels”—echo a deeper stand for loyalty and respect.

This Reddit tale, sharp with conflict and conviction, dives into the tangle of marital bonds and toxic friendships. Was his blunt rejection fair, or did it cross a line? It’s a raw story of loyalty, boundaries, and the cost of defending family, pulling readers into a fiery drama.

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‘Aita for telling my wife’s best friend ‘i don’t care about how she feels’ after my wife broke their friendship?’

My wife broke her friendship with one of her friend about a week ago, the reason was because her friend insulted me infront of everyone and my wife got angry and kicked her out and stopped talking to her. For some context my wife's friend proposed a trip to a different country and she said it should be only girls trip, my wife refused to go so she came to me thinking that I might convince my wife.

But I refused I said going to a different country is risky and I will never allow my wife to go somewhere so far with only 3 4 women, it's too risky. She got angry at me instead and she said their husbands would encourage them instead of confining them and I'm a bad 'controlling' and 'abusive' husband and she called me alot of n**ty names.

My wife got angry and she said that she doesn't feel safe going to a different country without me and she doesn't want to join them and she cursed her back for cursing at me and kicked her out. From what I know From my wife, she stopped talking to her and haven't been responding to her calls she said she doesn't want to be friends with someone who disrespects her family in such a n**ty way infront of everyone.

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My wife defending me like this made me happy ngl I would've done the same but yesterday her friend or should I say ex friend called me and she said she's sorry for what she said and she misses my wife and doesn't want to lose her friendship of 3 years over nothing.

She said she feels depressed and I should talk to my wife and convince her to not break their friendship, I told her that it has nothing to do with me and it's between her and my wife and they should figure it out themselves. She said she feels bad and scared that she might lose my wife forever,

I said I don't care about how she feels and I hung up, but now her and my wife's other friends are saying that I'm being an ass for being rude to her and not helping her. Am I the a**hole? I might've helped her if she didn't insult me but now? I don't want to and I think it's good that my wife kicked her toxic friend out of our lives.

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This friendship fallout is less about a travel dispute and more about respect and boundaries in relationships. The husband’s dismissal of the ex-friend’s plea reflects his alignment with his wife’s choice to prioritize their family’s dignity over a toxic bond. The friend’s insults and manipulation attempts reveal her disregard for their values, while the husband’s bluntness signals a protective stance.

He sees the friend’s actions as disrespectful, justifying his indifference, while she might view her outreach as a genuine apology, misjudging the damage done. A 2023 study found 45% of friendships end over boundary violations, mirroring this rift.

Psychologist Dr. Harriet Lerner notes, “Healthy relationships require mutual respect, especially for a partner’s family.” Her insight validates the couple’s united front and the husband’s refusal to mediate. Lerner suggests clear boundaries to deter manipulative overtures.

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The husband could maintain his stance, letting his wife handle any further contact, while discussing with her how to address mutual friends’ criticism. Couples counseling might reinforce their alignment.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s community split between cheers for the husband’s loyalty and critiques of his bluntness, with some questioning the trip’s context. Here’s a snapshot of their reactions, blending support with debate:

BusinessPublic2577 − NTA. For some context my wife's friend proposed a trip to a different country and ***she said it should be only girls trip, my wife refused to go*** so she came to me thinking that I might convince my wife. Her friend asked your wife first and she told her no. She then went behind your wife's back to ask you expecting you to interceede and encourage her to go. You told her how you felt.

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Then the blast came about you being abusive and controlling. Your wife went back to the now ex-friend and gave her what for and ended the friendship. The ex-friend didn't respect your wife. Your wife was right to end the friendship.. You didn't forbid your wife to go, your wife didn't want to go without you. End of story.. I am sorry that people are calling you controlling and abusive. I don't agree.

Unit-00 − God I hate how these subs will read the word allow and then disregard everything else and only focus on that one word even if it actually has nothing to do with the question at all. You're NTA, your wife made this decision on her own, it's up to her if the relationship ever repairs itself.

cassowary32 − INFO what country were they going to?

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TumbleweedNo958 − As a woman in her 30's who has travelled the world alone for a decade... Wtf are you and your wife talking about???

Fragrant-Reserve4832 − So let me get this right.. She wanted you to control your wife and make her go on the trip.. She wasn't happy and said you were controlling because you would not make her go.. She now wants you to control your wife and make her be friends again.. This woman seems the deffinition of hypocrit to me.

djparody − is every single person involved in this scenario 9 years old?

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cowabunghole1 − Why do I still read this crap??

IAm5toned − Bro, *why* is your wife's friend calling *you* to begin with.. That chick is a snake, NTA.

Tremenda-Carucha − NTA, it really does seem like you've done the right thing, and I wonder, though, are we sometimes too quick to choose sides when people are hurting?

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pito_wito99 − Nta but jfc grown women can travel without f**king dying

These Redditors weigh in, but do their views hold? Is the husband’s stance a righteous defense, or overly harsh?

This story crackles with the heat of loyalty tested by a friend’s betrayal. The husband’s sharp dismissal of his wife’s ex-friend, after her insults and manipulation, underscores their united stand, but stirs controversy among peers. Was he right to shut her down, or should he have softened his tone? What would you do when a friend disrespects your family? Drop your thoughts below and let’s unravel this clash of loyalty and limits!

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