AITA for telling my roommate’s parents that she’s been lying about how much our rent is?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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The shared apartment was usually a quiet haven, but a storm brewed when a casual chat with a roommate’s mom unveiled a web of lies. For a year and a half, the tenant handled rent payments smoothly, trusting their roommate to cover her share. But when the mom mentioned a $900 rent—$300 more than the actual cost—the truth unraveled: the roommate had been pocketing the extra cash, claiming a job she never had.

The revelation sparked fury, with the parents cutting off their daughter and the tenant issuing a stark ultimatum: pay up or move out. This tale dives into the messy fallout of deception, where trust between roommates frays and family ties strain under the weight of lies. It’s a vivid snapshot of betrayal, accountability, and the tough choices that follow when honesty upends a delicate balance.

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‘AITA for telling my roommate’s parents that she’s been lying about how much our rent is?’

I’ve lived with my roommate for about a year and a half now. She’s alright but we’re not really friends, just friendly. Her parents send her money for the rent and she sends me her portion because I’m the one who e-transfers the landlord.

Yesterday I got a message from her mom (she has my number in case of emergencies) asking me if she can be a little late with my roommate’s rent because her husband and she have been really struggling since they cut his hours at work because of COVID.

She tried to get in touch with my roommate but was unable to. I said of course as long as they send me the money before December. She thanked me and said she would have the $900 to me asap. That confused the hell out of me because my roommate’s rent is only $600/month.

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I asked her why she would send me $900 and she responded that was what my roommate had told her the rent was. I told her how much the rent actually was and she immediately called me concerned. She asked me why my roommate would lie to her.

Was she not getting enough hours at work? To which I responded that she didn’t even have a job nor had she ever had a job the entire time we’ve lived together. Her mom went from concerned to pissed.

Shortly after, I get a call from my hysterical roommate saying that because of what I said, her parents cut her off because the extra $5000 they gave her should be enough to cover a few months' rent while she gets a job. She said that it wasn’t my place to tell them and that the matter didn’t concern me.

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I think it does concern me because I would be the one covering her rent. After going back and forth a bit, I basically told her that she gives me the rent money before November or she finds a new place before December to which she responded that she didn’t have any money or a place to go and I said “tough s**t”.

I know it seems kinda harsh to just kinda dump this ultimatum on her, especially given the fact I was prepared to help out her parents, but I don’t have any sympathy for her. Like how could you con your own parents out of $5000? I don’t know, maybe I’m in the wrong and I shouldn’t have said anything. Am I the a**hole?

This roommate saga exposes the sting of financial deception. The tenant, caught off-guard by the roommate’s inflated rent claims and fabricated job, acted out of necessity when correcting the parents, who were unknowingly overpaying. The roommate’s scam, pocketing $5000 while her parents struggled, eroded trust, and the tenant’s ultimatum—pay or leave—was a natural response to protect their own financial stability. Both parties faced consequences, but the roommate’s deceit set the stage.

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Financial dishonesty in shared living is common yet damaging. A 2022 study by the National Apartment Association found that 25% of roommate disputes involve financial miscommunication or deceit, often leading to broken agreements. The tenant’s decision to speak up aligns with maintaining transparency, especially since they managed the landlord payments, making the roommate’s lie their concern.

Dr. Gail Saltz, a relationship expert, notes, “Honesty is the foundation of any shared living arrangement; deception, especially financial, breaks that trust irreparably”. Here, the tenant’s revelation wasn’t malicious but a reflex to clarify a falsehood that impacted them directly. The roommate’s anger reflects deflection, as her own actions triggered the fallout. Saltz’s insight underscores the tenant’s right to protect their interests.

To move forward, the tenant could formalize a payment plan or eviction notice, as Reddit’s OutrageouslyStitious advised, adhering to local laws. Mediation might help, but the roommate’s lack of funds suggests finding a new tenant may be wiser. Open communication with the parents could ease tensions, ensuring clarity. This case highlights the importance of trust in shared spaces, inviting reflection on handling betrayal in close quarters.

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Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s verdict was swift and unanimous, rallying behind the tenant with a resounding “not the asshole.” Commenters saw the roommate’s $5000 scam as a heartless betrayal, especially against struggling parents, and praised the tenant for their honesty, which surfaced naturally in conversation. The community viewed the ultimatum as fair, arguing that the roommate’s financial deceit justified the hard line, as the tenant shouldn’t be left covering her share.

Users like endearinglysarcastic and Jenna2k emphasized that the tenant had no malicious intent, simply correcting a falsehood that affected them directly. Some, like el_grande_ricardo, warned of potential eviction challenges but supported the tenant’s stance. The community’s take reflects a shared disdain for deceit and a belief that the roommate’s consequences were self-inflicted, underscoring the value of truth in financial dealings.

WebbieVanderquack − NTA. If you'd gone out of your way to inform on her, maybe you'd be one of the AH'S in this conflict, but you just responded honestly in a conversation about how much money was owed you.

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[Reddit User] − NTA you didn't even reveal it on purpose, it came out naturally. And if her parents are paying the rent anyway, your financial arrangement is more with them than it is with her. You are also in the right to give her that time limit. If she won't work therefore can't afford the apartment, she can't live there anymore. It's absurd to expect you to help her cheat her parents.

el_grande_ricardo − NTA. Liars always get caught out. But I think you're going to be stuck with her for a while, even if she's not paying rent. If the lease is in only your name, you'll have to evict her, and it will take several months. If both of you are in the lease, your best bet will be to move out when the lease is up.

CinderDroplet − NTA. Especially because her poor parents are in a tough spot themselves.

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Jenna2k − NTA she was scamming her own parents. How heartless do you have to be to scam your own parents like wtf?

endearinglysarcastic − NTA. You answered a question. I assume your roommate gave her mother your contact information, or at least *knew* that you were (or could be) communicating. You’d be TA if you had gotten the number behind your roommates back and called her mother, with the singular intention of snitching.

I’d say you’d probably still be TA if your roommate had told you about her scam, and you’d said you were on board. But you didn’t. You had no prior knowledge. You had no malicious intent. You corrected someone on cost of rent. If you *hadn’t*, you would’ve been complicit (both legally and morally). What was your alternative? Take the money? Keep it?

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Give it to your roommate? Let the mum give it to the landlord, and let *them* set her straight? Telling the truth was the best option for you, for your roommates parents, heck, probably even for your roommate (gal’s gotta get a job ASAP or her resume is going to look *pitiful*). You didn’t ‘snitch’, you reacted with confusion and told the truth. That doesn’t make you TA.

Nebsy_Websy − NTA. You didnt seek them out and she was stealing from them

[Reddit User] − NTA. She is deceitful and took a risk. It didn’t work out. You were as confused by it as her parents were. She needed to be outed. What a bad persons taking advantage of her parents like that while they were struggling

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Rutabaga-Tough − NTA but your going to have a hard time paying all that rent

OutrageouslyStitious − NTA Not your fault how the truth came out and not your lie. However, depending on where you live, you might have to extend past your November deadline (since it's a week away). Some jurisdictions require at least a 30-day notice, I'd recommend looking into that first.

This story crackles with the fallout of a roommate’s deception, exposing how lies can unravel trust in a shared home. The tenant’s honest revelation to the parents wasn’t just about setting the record straight—it was a stand to protect their own stability.

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As the roommate faces the consequences of her scam, the tale asks us to weigh honesty against loyalty. How would you handle a betrayal that hits both your wallet and your trust? Share your thoughts below.

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