AITA for telling my parents not to raise their new child like they raised me?
In a cozy family gathering, the coos of a newborn brother fill the air, but tension simmers beneath the joy. A 25-year-old man, once the golden child of his parents, dares to challenge their past parenting, urging them not to repeat the mistakes that shaped him into a “spoiled little s**t.” His sisters, long overshadowed, nod in agreement, but their parents bristle at the critique. This bold moment pulls us into a tale of reflection and redemption.
Raised as the family’s “prince” after a tragic loss, the man now sees how his entitlement hurt his sisters and relationships. With a new brother in the picture, he hopes for change, but his parents’ defensiveness clouds the room. Should he have stayed silent, or was speaking up a necessary stand? It’s a story of family flaws and the courage to grow
‘AITA for telling my parents not to raise their new child like they raised me?’
Parenting critiques from grown kids can sting like a wasp, especially when they hit a nerve. The OP’s call for his parents to avoid over-spoiling their new son stems from hard-earned wisdom. Raised as the favored boy after his brother’s tragic death, he became entitled, straining ties with his sisters and landing in therapy to untangle the fallout. His sisters’ support underscores a shared pain, yet his parents’ denial—claiming they “never did anything wrong”—blocks reflection.
This mirrors a wider issue: favoritism in families can leave lasting scars. A 2016 study in the Journal of Family Psychology found that perceived parental favoritism increases sibling rivalry and lowers self-esteem, often persisting into adulthood. The OP’s sisters, sidelined for years, likely felt this keenly, while his unchecked privilege fed unhealthy behaviors until reality intervened.
Family therapist Dr. Susan Forward, author of Toxic Parents, notes, “Parents who refuse to acknowledge past mistakes risk repeating them, harming new generations. Listening to adult children’s feedback is a chance for growth” (Psychology Today). Forward’s insight suggests the OP’s parents could benefit from hearing him out, not doubling down. His suggestion—discipline the new child and avoid tantrum-driven indulgence—is practical, aiming to foster balance.
For solutions, the OP could approach his parents privately, framing his concerns as care for his brother’s future, not blame. Family therapy might help bridge the gap, allowing his sisters to share their perspectives calmly. Meanwhile, he can model healthy behavior for his brother as a mentor.
These are the responses from Reddit users:
Reddit’s takes are as lively as a family reunion barbecue. Here’s what the community had to say:
![[Reddit User] − NTA. Tell your dad that as a victim of their parenting you have every right to critique it, and that you are the one who decides if they did anything wrong, not them.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/208807c-01.png)
![[Reddit User] − NTA. You tried to warn them. It’s actually really cool that you’ve managed to sort yourself out. Well done. Maybe try to be there to guide your brother through this as best you can.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/208807c-14.png)
These comments rally behind the OP, but do they oversimplify his parents’ defensiveness? One thing’s clear: this family’s past stirred a heated debate.
The OP’s story is a raw look at how parenting shapes us—for better or worse. By speaking up, he risks family friction but aims to protect his new brother from the pitfalls he faced. Was he too blunt, or did his parents need the wake-up call? What would you do if you saw your family repeating old mistakes? Share your thoughts—have you ever challenged your parents’ ways, and how did it go?
