AITA for telling my mom her surgery isn’t my responsibility?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Imagine working since 15, pinching pennies for college, only to learn your mom splurged your savings on botox and a boob job. That’s the gut-wrenching betrayal Sarah, a 19-year-old college hopeful, faced when her mom confessed to raiding her carefully built fund. Furious, Sarah called it theft, vowed to explore legal options, and stormed out to a friend’s place. Now, her family’s blowing up her phone, saying it’s “no big deal” and she should just take loans. Was Sarah too harsh, or is she right to fight for her future?

Sarah’s Reddit AITA post is a heart-pounding saga of trust shattered and family ties tested, with a mother’s vanity pitted against a daughter’s dreams. Reddit’s rallying behind her like a legal defense team, and this drama’s sparking debates fiercer than a courtroom showdown. Let’s dive into the mess that’s got everyone picking sides.

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‘AITA for telling my mom her surgery isn’t my responsibility?’

I (19F) got a job at 15, and started my own college fund. because I had been told by my mom (45f) since I was young that she would NOT pay for my college for me. and that I'm on my own. my mom helped me set up a bank account that I would not have access to until college, and the majority of my paycheques went into it.

I wasn't working full time so I didn't make bank. but I had a good chunk, enough that I was feeling secure. id still need some loans but not nearly as much. a while ago my mom mentioned a bonus she got at work, and told me she was thinking of getting some 'work done.'.

I supported her because I don't care what she does to her body.. recently, she got it all done. Botox, fillers, b**ast augmentation, and like 5 sessions of this body sculpting thing. yesterday I heard from a few colleges I got accepted to, my mom got very quiet and admitted to using my money for her plastic surgery.

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I lost it, and I told her I was going to explore my legal options, i said i wasn't responsible for funding her surgery and that I was moving out within the next week because she violated me and stole from me. she tried to fight it but I ended up leaving and going to my friends.

my father and extended family keep calling and texting me me and saying its not a big deal. they keep saying I can just take out student loans. my dad said my mom raised me, and I live at home rent free, so I pretty much owe her. but I think I worked hard to get my money and i should sue my mom if I can.

but maybe I'm just being stubborn?? AITA?. EDIT: i meant I live w a reduced rate of rent not rent free, so sorry for that EDIT 2: when I went to summer camp for cadets at 14 turning 15. I was paid 60 dollars a week that she took when I got home to 'keep safe' I never saw that money, she always justified it with buying my basic needs like 'I bought you toothpaste last week, that came out of your camp money.'

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Sarah’s fury isn’t just about money—it’s about betrayal. Her mom’s unauthorized raid on her college fund, built through years of teenage hustle, violates trust and parental duty. The family’s dismissal, pushing loans as a fix, only deepens the wound. Sarah’s threat to sue and move out is less stubbornness and more self-preservation in a family that’s failed her.

Financial psychologist Dr. Brad Klontz says, “Stealing a child’s savings undermines their security and future” . Her mom’s claim of “raising her” doesn’t justify theft—parenting isn’t a debt kids repay.

Sarah should consult a lawyer to check if the account was in her name, gathering pay stubs or texts as proof. Dr. Klontz suggests cutting contact with enablers and opening a secure account. Crowdfunding or scholarships can help rebuild her fund. Sarah’s not the villain—she’s a young woman fighting for the future she earned.

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Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The Reddit squad charged in like a justice league, slinging support and shade for Sarah’s stand. It’s a virtual courtroom where everyone’s a juror, and the verdicts are scorching. Here’s the unfiltered scoop:

TheSciFiGuy80 − NTA. PURSUE LEGAL ACTION!!!. She stole from you. I’ll never understand families who say “no big deal just take out a loan”. They aren’t the one who will be paying it back. I’m also tired of family members using the whole she’s your mom and took care of you as if that gives her the right to take your money… you do NOT owe her for being born and being taken care of (that’s the bare minimum of a parent’s responsibility).

meepmorp2030 − NTA.. cut em all off now.. she stole your hard earned money for an education to get a boob job.. don't talk to her ever again, get married have children. (if that's what you want) and be happy. don't let her come to the wedding, don't let her see the kid, and don't let her come near you.. tell her you hope the Botox was worth losing a daughter over.

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RosesBrain − NTA. You 'live with her rent free' because your are her responsibility, a responsibility she took on when she became a parent. You owe her **nothing**.. She literally stole from you. She's the a**hole.

gastropodia42 − NTA. She stole from you for cosmetic surgery.. There is no excuse for her actions.

partybfthrowaway − NTA but maybe make sure she actually made the account in your name, and not in hers. or else, she owns thay fund.

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Available-Love7940 − NTA.. Your mother stole from you. That is theft, plain and simple. Your dad is an a**hole for suggesting that your being raised by your mom gives her a pass on stealing from you. Also for the 'You live there rent free.' You're 19. For most of your life, that's actually how it works.

Parents support children. (And in my state, 19 is the age of adulthood, so you'd maybe owe some rent, if one wants to be picky.). Yes...you can take out student loans. But will your mother, the thief, be paying them? (Probably not.). You're not being stubborn. You were robbed...literally. Your money was stolen from you.

MissContrariwise − NTA get a free consultation with a lawyer. If the account was solely in her name, it’ll make it harder (or impossible to recoup) HOWEVER if you can prove that you have been depositing your money into this account and that SHE KNEW it was for college you may have recourse.

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Get her to admit in writing if you don’t already have it. Print it all out and show a lawyer. ALSO, blast her on social media and tag friends/family/maybe throw in some news stations for good measure. If you can go viral or get enough people enraged on your behalf maybe you can shame her into repaying you. ALSO, cut off anyone who defends her. Cut her off. She literally stole your future from you. She deserves every bit karma coming her way.

[Reddit User] − Your mother stole your college fund for cosmetic surgery. Get a new bank account without your mother on it and ask her when she’s paying you back. And ask your dad and extended family to refund the money if they are so invested in the fact it’s not a big deal.

How much was stolen? Set up a go fund me saying that your mother stole the college money you saved for a boob job and post it all over social media, send links to all the main media outlets and all your family.

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You may not have a legal right to sue your mother as she was a joint signature on the account. But you would win the moral right. Perhaps even send the go fund me link to your mothers place if work, her hairdresser, nail technician and all her friends too.

MangalugAC − NTA.. I would end conract with any family member who supports your mom on this and get legal advice immediately.

[Reddit User] − NTA. A child doesn't owe their parents anything. I'd definitely be exploring my legal options.

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Redditors crowned Sarah a hero, branding her mom a thief and her family enablers. Some urged legal action, others a public shaming campaign. Do their fiery takes balance the scales, or just fan the flames?

Sarah’s clash over her stolen college fund is a stark reminder that family doesn’t get a free pass to betray trust. Her mom’s cosmetic splurge cost more than money—it fractured their bond. This saga hits hard for anyone who’s fought for their own path. What would you do if a parent swiped your savings? Share your thoughts and stories below!

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