AITA for telling my husband to tell his mom to settle the baby?

A resilient new mother struggles as her mother-in-law’s late-night video calls disrupt her baby’s sleep. Family conflicts, where a husband struggles to say “no” to his mother-in-law, prompting his wife to draw a hard line. The surprise? She refuses to let her fussy baby sleep over after the calls, causing tension. More than that, this is a story about boundaries, parenting, and clashing priorities that many can relate to.

What makes the story even more complicated is the delicate balance between maintaining family harmony and protecting the routine of a newborn. The couple’s strong bond is facing a test, and the online community has been vocal in its opinions. Let’s break down this story and see what the key takeaways are.

‘AITA for telling my husband to tell his mom to settle the baby?’

The stage is set with a couple navigating life with their 10-week-old son.

I (F36) have a baby (10wks) with my husband (M36). Our son is amazing and a pretty easy baby. My son already sleeps through the night which is a godsend.

However, this does require a strict nighttime routine of bath, bottle and reading a story. About an hour and a half before he sleeps, but then he sleeps like a...

Enter the mother-in-law, whose timing couldn’t be worse.

The problem is that my MIL has the habit of calling later in the evening when my son is already asleep. She will videocall and insist to see the baby...

The husband’s struggle to set boundaries adds fuel to the fire.

I have also discussed this with my husband that he shouldn't bring the phone to our son if she calls that late or pick up at all, but he has...

A couple nights ago I was readying myself for bed after putting down our son when the phone rings Husband does pick up and is saying no to see our...

(Spoilers: he does and she will). When he is walking to the bedroom I pop my head out and shake no. He shrugs like 'what can I do?' and I...

ADVERTISEMENT

The situation escalates when the baby wakes up, and the wife holds firm.

By the time my husband did turn on the light (because she couldn't see) and she has called our son awake (Because she wanted to see his 'pretty little eyes')...

Phone call ends, my son is crying and fussing. My husband takes him back into the living room to calm him down, but after half an hour comes up and...

ADVERTISEMENT

I told him I warned him many times. He insists that I can do it, because I don't have to work tomorrow. So I tell him: ' Neither does your...

He did end up putting our son back to bed. But it took a long while apparently and made him really tired the next day at work. He went to...

BEFORE PEOPLE JUMP ON MY HUSBAND: HE IS A GREAT DAD WHO IS THE ONE SETTLING OUR SON DOWN MOST DAYS SINCE I'M TIRED AND STILL RECOVERING.

ADVERTISEMENT

We split duties equally and if our son was fussy and didn't want to sleep I would've had no problem staying up late to take him to bed. Just not...

This situation illustrates the boundary issue of a crying baby. The core issue is the husband’s failure to prioritize the child’s needs over the mother’s whims. According to Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, “Setting boundaries with extended family is crucial for a couple’s bonding and emotional health” (Gottman Institute, 2023). The wife’s stance is to protect the family’s well-being, but the husband’s wavering creates a ripple effect of tension.

At the same time, the mother-in-law’s insistence on late-night phone calls reflects a lack of respect for the couple’s new reality as parents. Babies thrive on routine, and disrupted sleep can affect both the baby’s development and the parent’s personal hygiene. The wife’s refusal to breastfeed is not petty—it’s a push for responsibility.

ADVERTISEMENT

What’s more, this highlights a broader social issue: the expectation that new parents, especially mothers, shoulder the burden of family relationships. The husband’s work exhaustion is real, but so is the wife’s post-partum recovery. The problem is that clear communication and strong boundaries can prevent this cycle.

What makes things more complicated is the emotional tug-of-war. The husband’s loyalty to his mother-in-law conflicts with his role as a father, creating tension in what is supposed to be an equal relationship. A family therapist might suggest a unified solution: the couple sets specific phone call times with his mother-in-law to ensure their son gets enough sleep.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The online community didn’t hold back, rallying behind the wife with a mix of support, critique, and a dash of humor. Their takes range from practical advice to outright roasting the mother-in-law’s behavior.

ADVERTISEMENT

These commenters cheer the wife’s boundary-setting and urge the husband to step up.

[Reddit User] − NTA Your son doesn't change his face every single day. She doesn't need to call daily and needs to adhere to the schedule of a newborn child...

As for the son, he is your husband and you are defensive of him but he needs to have boundaries. These boundaries are not only not unreasonable but perfectly adhering...

ADVERTISEMENT

Since it is his mother being an AH it is his responsibility to be firm with her. Otherwise it will cause other problems as well. Your MIL though is a...

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your MIL selfishly demands what *she wants,* which is to deliberately wake your baby up, which goes directly against what *baby needs. * Your husband knows...

Ask MIL to call earlier (she refuses, because it's not what she *wants*). Ask DH not to answer when she calls so late (he does anyway). Ask DH to tell...

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask DH to at least mute the phone and not turn the light on if he insists on taking in the phone so baby hopefully won't wake up (He ignores...

And now it's supposed to be *your* problem that your baby's sleep is disrupted and baby is upset? Nope. This is entirely on your husband, and he should be entirely...

RecipeDry − Not the exact same situation but I remember a post about a woman being annoyed by her mil calling late so started answering and making loud s*x noises....

ADVERTISEMENT

This group doesn’t mince words, pointing fingers at the husband’s lack of backbone.

WelfordNelferd − NTA, but this is 100% on your husband, and totally ridiculous that he won't set boundaries with his mother. (Note I didn't say "can't", because he sure as...

Bartlaus − NTA, but your MIL and husband are. Never wake a sleeping baby. Signed, a father of four.

ADVERTISEMENT

NorthernLitUp − NTA but your husband sure is. Until he can detatch himself from his mom's umbilical cord and grow a pair, he can handle night duties.

Some users offer clever ways to shut down the late-night calls.

[Reddit User] − NTA. FAFO. And do this every time your MIL calls under similar circumstances (make it clear you will). Maybe it'll cause your husband to grow a spine...

ADVERTISEMENT

So if your MIL still wants to "see his pretty little eyes" she's going to have to switch her "decompression time" with her "call the baby" time. It's only gone...

Recent-Hope-7574 − Absolutely NTA. You guys are so blessed that the baby is sleeping so well at only 10 weeks! You gave him plenty of warning about the consequences of...

and he chose his mother's wants over his and his baby's needs. Sometimes this is the only way to learn. Let us know if he lets his mom wake up...

ADVERTISEMENT

Hot-Damage5032 − If your husband and MIL won’t listen to you, maybe you need to get the pediatrician involved. Her demands aren’t good for the baby. Having medical advice backing...

Miserable_Dentist_70 − "Sorry, mom, but the baby is sleeping. " End of conversation. It's nice that your husband is such a good dad, but apparently he's not a good enough...

ADVERTISEMENT

and he's not a good enough husband to avoid making you the one to pay the consequences for that. NTA, but it's time to lay down the law and have...

This story reveals the tricky dance of balancing family expectations with a newborn’s needs. The wife’s firm boundary sparked tension but highlighted the importance of protecting a baby’s routine. The husband, caught between his mother’s demands and his family’s well-being, learned a tough lesson about consequences. Alongside that, the mother-in-law’s refusal to adjust her schedule shows how family dynamics can strain even the strongest partnerships.

What do you think—should the wife keep holding her ground, or is there a gentler way to handle the mother-in-law? Have you ever dealt with family overstepping boundaries with a newborn? Share your thoughts below!

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *