AITA for telling my ex he was very inconsiderate of our daughters when he found out the gender of his new child with his wife?

In a deeply emotional family dispute, a 25-year-old woman recounts how she confronted her ex-husband about his insensitive remarks during a gender reveal party. After their separation four years ago, she has remained actively involved in the lives of their two daughters (aged 7 and 5) despite their complicated history.

Recently, during a live Facebook gender reveal party for his new child with his current wife, her ex made a shocking comment that devastated the girls. He exclaimed, “Thank god, thank god,” and then added, “I didn’t want anymore girls. I would have shot myself,” a remark that was witnessed by the daughters. Furious that his words were clearly showing blatant favoritism toward his new son, she immediately addressed the issue with him, setting off a chain reaction of harsh words and painful revelations.

‘AITA for telling my ex he was very inconsiderate of our daughters when he found out the gender of his new child with his wife?’

Family therapists and child development experts stress that a parent’s words have a lasting impact on a child’s self-worth, particularly in blended or post-separation families. Dr. Laura Jennings, a specialist in family psychology, notes, “When an ex-partner makes such derogatory comments about gender, especially in front of children, it can have profound effects on their emotional development. The children are at a formative age where they are still building their sense of identity and self-esteem. Hearing that they are less desirable can lead to feelings of inadequacy that may persist well into adulthood.”

Dr. Jennings further explains that the confrontation initiated by the woman is not only a necessary stand for her daughters’ emotional safety but also a crucial step in establishing healthy boundaries in co-parenting. “It’s essential for the non-custodial parent—or any parent, for that matter—to be held accountable for statements that can be damaging to children.

In this scenario, the woman’s decision to address his comment directly is a protective measure. However, it is also important that both parents work together, perhaps with the assistance of a mediator or therapist, to rebuild trust and ensure that such harmful language is not repeated.”

She also emphasizes that while conflict is inevitable in post-separation relationships, the priority should always be the emotional well-being of the children. “When an ex’s behavior undermines a child’s sense of worth, the other parent is justified in confronting it. This is not about ruining someone’s day—it’s about safeguarding a child’s future emotional health.”

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The responses from the Reddit community have been overwhelmingly supportive of the woman’s actions. Many commenters emphatically stated that her ex’s remark was entirely unacceptable. One user wrote, “NTA – What an absolutely terrible thing to say, especially in front of your daughters. They deserve to feel loved and valued, not rejected.” Another commented, “Your ex’s words are a red flag. If he can’t see the harm in his comments, how will your daughters ever feel safe and valued?”

Several community members echoed the need for the children to receive extra support, with suggestions that therapy might be beneficial to help them process their feelings. Some users even questioned his suitability as a parent, noting that such blatant favoritism could have long-term repercussions on the girls’ self-esteem.

A few voices cautioned that while it’s important to hold him accountable, it might also be wise for her to focus on nurturing her daughters rather than engaging in prolonged conflict, as this could help them heal.

In conclusion, this case highlights a critical issue in modern co-parenting: the importance of protecting children from harmful, insensitive remarks. The woman’s decision to confront her ex-husband for his thoughtless comment is seen by many as a justified stand for her daughters’ emotional well-being. However, it also raises questions about how best to manage ongoing conflicts in a post-separation family.

Should parents be held to a higher standard of sensitivity when it comes to their children’s feelings? How can both parents work together to ensure that every child feels valued, regardless of gender? We invite you to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.