AITA for telling my dad to F off and cry to someone else because he doesn’t get to blame me for his wife giving birth to a stillborn baby?
The phone call was a gut punch—an 18-year-old woman, already estranged from her father, faced his tearful rage blaming her for his wife’s stillborn baby. His wife, pregnant and alone, had begged her to be a birthing partner, but she refused, citing years of resentment. Now, his accusations—that she could have “saved” the baby—ignited her fury, leading to a heated exchange where she told him to “f**k off and cry to someone else.”
This isn’t just a family spat; it’s a raw collision of grief, guilt, and fractured bonds. Her defiance stems from a decade of her father’s manipulative tactics and his wife’s taunts, leaving her and her siblings wary of his home. Readers may feel her anger, questioning whether her outburst was justified or if grief muddies the moral line.
‘AITA for telling my dad to f off and cry to someone else because he doesn’t get to blame me for his wife giving birth to a stillborn baby?’
Blaming an 18-year-old for a stillbirth is not just unfair—it’s emotionally abusive. The father’s absence during his wife’s labor and his wife’s desperate call to a resentful stepdaughter reflect poor planning and strained family ties. The OP’s refusal to help, rooted in years of her stepmother’s manipulative behavior, was her asserting a boundary, not causing a tragedy. Her father’s accusations shift his guilt onto her, a classic deflection tactic.
Stillbirth affects 1 in 160 pregnancies, often unpredictably, and no bystander can “save” a baby in such cases (CDC). Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, notes, “Blaming others during grief often masks personal regret, fracturing trust” (Gottman Institute). The father’s history of trying to alienate the children from their mother compounds the dysfunction.
The OP should maintain no contact, focusing on her and her siblings’ well-being. Therapy can help process the trauma of this blame and past conflicts. Supporting her mother’s legal efforts to adjust custody, as she mentioned, is wise, with documentation of this incident as evidence. A family counselor could guide future steps, ensuring the siblings’ safety from an unstable environment.
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
The Reddit crew roared in like a protective pack, shredding the father’s logic and rallying behind the OP’s stand. It was a fiery mix of outrage and empathy, with users dissecting the absurdity of the blame. Here’s their raw take:
Redditors slammed the father as manipulative, questioning his absence and his wife’s bizarre request. Their support validates the OP’s anger, but does it offer a path forward, or just fuel her pain?
The OP’s fiery retort to her father’s cruel blame was a stand for her dignity amid a tangled web of grief and dysfunction. Her family’s fractured past and her siblings’ resistance to their father’s home underscore the stakes of this moment. Walking away may be her only peace. Have you ever faced unfair blame in a family crisis? How would you handle a parent’s misplaced guilt? Share your thoughts below.
