AITA for telling my dad he is dead to me?

Imagine sitting in a Starbucks, heart pounding, ready to meet the dad who vanished when you were six months old—poof, gone like a magician chasing the world’s best milk. You’re 24 now, raised by a mom who doubled as your bestie, juggling high school and diapers at 18. You’ve built him up in your mind, hoping for an apology, a reason, anything. Instead, he strolls in, skips the “sorry,” and hits you with three words that shatter the fantasy: “I need money.” Cue the record scratch.

The rage bubbles up like an overpriced latte, and before you know it, your hand’s flying—smack!—and you’re declaring him “dead to me.” It’s a scene straight out of a drama, but now your family’s clutching their pearls, saying you went too far. Was it justified fury, or a step over the line? Let’s brew over this one.

‘AITA for telling my dad he is dead to me?’

Facing a deadbeat dad after 24 years of radio silence is a powder keg—and this one blew sky-high. He didn’t just abandon her; he waltzed back in with a beggar’s hat, no remorse in sight. That slap? A heat-of-the-moment flare-up from a lifetime of hurt. Telling him he’s “dead to me” cuts deeper, but it’s a boundary drawn in fire.

Psychologist Dr. Joshua Coleman, an expert on family estrangement, says, “Reconnection requires accountability, not exploitation,” (source: Psychology Today). This dad flunked that test hard—zero apologies, just a plea for cash. Her anger’s a neon sign of unresolved pain, and stats back it: 27% of kids from absent-parent homes report trust issues into adulthood (Child Trends).

This isn’t just personal—it’s a classic absentee-parent trope. He’s not owed her kindness, especially not her wallet. Advice? Let the dust settle, process with Mom, and stand firm. He dug this grave; she doesn’t have to fill it with forgiveness—or money.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit posse roared in—here’s the roundup:

They’re practically handing her a medal, calling her a badass and cheering that slap like it’s a mic-drop moment. From legal takes to “piss on him” zingers, it’s a wild ride of support. But does the hype match the reality, or is it just Reddit’s chaos choir?

So, there she is, steaming from a Starbucks showdown, her slap echoing louder than his shameless ask. She’s no asshole—years of abandonment earned that outburst, even if the family’s tsk-tsking. Reddit’s got her back, and honestly, it’s hard to argue with the guy who ditched then dared to demand. Maybe the slap was extra, but the “dead to me” feels like poetic justice. What’s your call? Would you have kept cool or let him have it too? Drop your take—how would you face a ghost dad pulling that stunt?