AITA for telling my coworker her bad decisions and her kids are not my responsibility?

The theater’s velvet curtains promised a magical evening, but for one mom, the spotlight fell on an unexpected drama. A 35-year-old widow planned a cherished Broadway outing with her 9-year-old daughter, a rare treat to share laughter and song. But when a coworker overheard and invited herself along, the night spiraled into a clash of boundaries and expectations.

What started as a joyful escape turned into a battle over money, manners, and responsibility. The mom’s patience was tested as her coworker’s demands grew, raising a question that resonates with anyone who’s faced an overstepping acquaintance: where do you draw the line? This story, shared on Reddit, captures the tension of navigating personal space in a world where some feel entitled to your generosity.

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‘AITA for telling my coworker her bad decisions and her kids are not my responsibility?’

So here's what happened. I(35F) was talking to a co-worker (different one) and while talking about plans for the next few weeks I told her I would be taking my daughter (9F) to a Broadway show that we both love. Another co-worker (30F) heard us talking, she has 5 kids, her oldest being my daughter's age.

She has tried to force a friendship between my daughter and hers since she started working here. I tried and the girls had a few playdate (over the last 4 yrs) and my daughter just doesn't enjoy her daughter's company. So I decided not to force her into more playdates.

So when she heard us talking about the show she decided her daughter and her will be joining us, I didn't want her or her daughter to feel bad so I didn't decline. She asked me about our seats to get some next to us and when I told her and she looked them up she started complaining about the prices and asking why we couldn't seat in a cheaper section.

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I told her I understood if she couldn't pay those prices and that they could seat somewhere else but we prefer those seats. She ended up buying the tickets right behind us. She showed up early, inserted herself in our plans, so many things happened but can't write them all.

Dinner was the worst (she hadn't been invited for that either) she saw the restaurant and quickly said they wouldn't be able to afford it. I told her I would pay for them. Her daughter threw a tantrum because they didn't have what she wanted. She's 9 and crying like a toddler, her mother does nothing.

For info, I can afford this because my family has money so did my husband, he passed 2yrs ago and left us his money .We finally get to the theater and it's just a sh!tshow, her daughter wouldn't stop talking loud and whining, she was asked to step out and calm her child several times during the show.

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After intermission her child was again crying because she wanted the same cup my daughter had but her mom didn't buy it. I didn't knew she had asked her mom for one. She was asked to leave the theater with her kid, she started arguing, lost and then told me 'let's just go' I said no, I'm staying.

The show ends and I figured they had gone home, they were outside waiting! Then she went off on me how I should've left with her, how she spent all this money for the stupid show and that I should take them home AND pay her for the tickets!

I exploded, told her she could find her way home and that her spending the money was not my problem. She says her kids will go hungry until next paycheck and it's my fault. I told her she invited herself and that her bad finances and her children are NOT my responsibility and left with my daughter.

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All week she's been going on, how she can't feed her kids and that it's my fault, people at work have sided with me but I feel so bad now thinking about her kids being hungry, I know I can and I could just give her money but the fact that she says it's my fault stops me. So AITA? Should I just give her money to feed her kids?

The coworker’s intrusion into the OP’s personal plans created a challenging situation. The OP’s initial reluctance to set boundaries allowed the coworker to overstep, but her refusal to leave the show or cover costs marked a reclaiming of autonomy. As noted in Psychology Today, entitlement often stems from unmet needs, but projecting those onto others breeds resentment.

This scenario reflects broader social pressures to assist struggling acquaintances. A 2023 American Psychological Association study found that 62% of Americans feel obligated to help, often to their own detriment. The coworker’s actions—inviting herself and demanding financial support—crossed reasonable limits, forcing the OP into a defensive stance.

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Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne emphasizes, “Healthy boundaries protect mental well-being without guilt”. The OP should restrict interactions with the coworker to work-related matters and document any harassment if necessary. Readers can practice assertive responses, such as “I’m not comfortable with that,” to safeguard personal space.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and shade. From cheers for the OP’s final clapback to gentle jabs at her initial people-pleasing, the comments were a virtual popcorn fest. Here’s the unfiltered scoop:

[Reddit User] − NTA, but you really need to grow a damn spine. You are allowed to have a nice outing to a show with your daughter. So I would say you were the AH to your daughter, who had her Broadway show experience ruined because you couldn't stand up to a dumbass.

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BonjourCheriex − My gosh you are NTA here this other mom is a terrible mother raising a potential a**hole of a child

sunfloweries − ESH. and my daughter just doesn't enjoy her daughter's company. So I decided not to force her into more playdates. So when she heard us talking about the show she decided her daughter and her will be joining us, I didn't want her or her daughter to feel bad so I didn't decline. i mean you're talking about her bad decisions when you obviously made a really bad one yourself.

you already know your daughter doesn't like the other kid, so why would you just passively accept this person butting in on your personal time with your kid? learn to say no. the other mom's behavior was obviously dumb af but you bear some responsibility for not just saying no in the first place.

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BroadwayThrowaway1 − Thank you everyone, I do feel bad for those kids and didn't have space to explain. Before my husband passed we knew we wanted one more child and because I'm 35 and he would've been 36 we froze our embryos. After talking with my in-laws I had started the process and I'm 4 months pregnant. So I'm extra sensitive, specially to kids.

ed_lv − NTA. You just need to cut any contact with her to 100% work related. She is a nightmare, and I would wanna have nothing to do with her. Oh and by the way, you absolutely shouldn't give her any money.

[Reddit User] − NTA Every bit of this is her own fault. Every. Last. Bit. Her financial situation is her own fault, as is wasting money on tickets if she knew she needed to buy groceries. Give her nothing. I doubt her kids are actually going hungry, rather that's just her way of manipulating you into paying even more for her.

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It won't end if you enable her. I'm tempted to say that the next time she says her kids are starving, you should suggest she report herself to CPS for n**lect, so at least someone could take care of her kids if she won't.

Offer to call for her. I bet she'll stop claiming her kids are starved real quick. But as satisfying as that would be though, the drama might not be worth it.. Best to just ignore her. If she continues to harass you at work, go to HR.

Intelligent_Stop5564 − YNTA, but if she ever overhears your partial plans and wants to horn in again, refuse. Don't tell her what your seat assignment is or the date/time of your show. Decline invitations they issue. Don't offer to pay for them.

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paul_rudds_drag_race − I’m going to go with ESH. The other adult for obvious reasons and soft YTA for subjecting your child, who has told you that why don’t like being around the other kid, to this nonsense just because you didn’t want to speak up and set boundaries. This could’ve been a cherished experience for your child had you prioritized her.

confusedtryhard − NTA. For your sake, just keep it strictly business with her going forward.

WiseBat − Lmao wait a minute. She invited herself to your outing and then complained when she couldn’t afford to do any of it? You know what would’ve solved that problem is her not inviting herself along without knowing details in the first place.. NTA and you know it.

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These Redditors rallied behind the OP’s right to her night out, though some wondered if a firmer “no” early on could’ve saved the drama. But do these hot takes nail the full picture, or are they just fueling the fire?

This Broadway debacle shows how quickly a kind gesture can turn into a boundary battle. The OP’s story reminds us that generosity has limits, especially when someone else’s choices crash your plans. Her refusal to cave, despite guilt over hungry kids, sparks a debate about responsibility and entitlement. What would you do if a coworker turned your special day into their personal soap opera? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s keep the conversation going!

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