AITA for taking my son on a fishing trip?

On a serene lake, where the morning mist clings to the water and the gentle splash of a fishing line breaks the silence, a mother and her teenage son cast their rods, laughing over a shared thermos of hot cocoa. It’s a moment of connection, rooted in her childhood memories of fishing with her late father. But this peaceful day, meant to strengthen their bond, stirs unexpected drama when her ex, the boy’s father, learns of their trip and erupts in anger.

This isn’t just about fishing; it’s about stepping up as a parent when the other falls short. The mother, a busy plumber who recently carved out more time for her son, tried to include her ex, only to be met with silence. Posted on Reddit, their story resonates with anyone who’s navigated the choppy waters of co-parenting and the guilt of filling gaps left by an absent partner.

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‘AITA for taking my son on a fishing trip?’

I (33F) had my son (14M) when I was pretty young. His father (32M) was my high school boyfriend and is constantly behind on child support, but it’s not that big of a deal since I make plenty of money as a plumber.

Even though I could legally prevent my ex from seeing my son based on the custody agreement, I choose not to because my son still wants to see his dad, and his dad doesn't really mistreat him or anything, he just really sucks at keeping a job, hence the reason (one of many) he became my ex.

I bought out my company about two years ago, which recently gave me a lot more free time, so I finally started spending more quality time with my favorite little dude, even though I constantly have to remind myself that he’s taller than me now lol.

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I've always loved the outdoors, so over the past couple years, I've taken my son on countless hikes, camping trips, and we even climbed to the summit of a mountain together. We started having those long, deep talks about life beside the campfire, and he even told me about a girl he has a crush on.

Before I bought out the company, I worked a lot of overtime hours to make up for my ex being a broke ass, so this time has been irreplaceable. It makes me feel terrible to think how much I’ve already missed out on, and I need to make up for that.

My dad (RIP) was an avid fisherman, and some of the best memories I have of my childhood are fishing with him. I didn’t take my son at first, though, because I’d fished so long ago and I felt like I was rusty, but my son asked me to teach him how to do it.

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My ex, on the other hand, is really into fishing (probably the only thing he and my dad bonded over, if I’m being honest) and so I tried calling him to set up a time for him to go fishing with our son. Every time I called, his wife would answer and say she was going to have him get back to me.

Well, after the third or fourth try, I just gave up and decided to take my son myself. I called a couple family members for advice, did some research online, and we ended up having a great time catching and releasing salmon.

We didn’t catch a whole lot, and it was pretty boring at some points, but we both enjoyed being out on the water for the day. My son got around to posting the pictures of our fishing trip on his Instagram, and my ex called me freaking out.

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I told him that his wife is the one who kept answering his phone, and he started yelling at me that I could have messaged him directly on Instagram or Facebook, which I suppose is true, but am I really the a**hole here? My son says he messaged his dad on Instagram about it, so would it have made that big of a difference if I sent a message, too? AITA?

This fishing trip drama highlights the complexities of co-parenting when communication falters. The mother made multiple attempts to involve her ex, respecting her son’s desire to maintain a relationship with his father. Her ex’s failure to respond, compounded by his wife’s gatekeeping, left her to fulfill her son’s wish herself. Parenting expert Dr. Laura Markham notes, “Consistency and responsiveness build trust with children” . Here, the mother’s initiative preserved her son’s joy, while the ex’s absence risked disappointment.

The ex’s outrage seems less about the trip and more about his own shortcomings. Men, often socialized to tie bonding to specific activities like fishing, may feel threatened when others step into “their” role, as a 2018 study in Family Relations suggests . His reaction, blaming her for not using social media, deflects from his failure to prioritize their son’s request, even after the boy messaged him.

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This scenario reflects broader co-parenting challenges. About 30% of custodial parents report inconsistent involvement from non-custodial parents, per a 2020 U.S. Census report . The mother’s decision to act independently was practical, not malicious, ensuring her son’s happiness. Her guilt, though, underscores the emotional weight of balancing her role with her ex’s unreliable presence.

To move forward, she could set clearer communication boundaries, like texting directly or involving a neutral family member, to avoid future misunderstandings. Encouraging her son to express his needs to his father directly, as Dr. Markham advises, could also foster accountability. Readers might consider how they navigate shared parenting duties, sharing tips to balance involvement and independence without stepping on toes.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit users rallied behind the mother, applauding her for creating a memorable fishing trip when her ex dropped the ball. They pointed out that he had years to take his son fishing but didn’t, making his anger seem misplaced. Many criticized his wife’s role in blocking communication, seeing it as a barrier to his relationship with his son.

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The community also celebrated the mother’s efforts to bond with her son, noting that her initiative turned a potential letdown into a cherished memory. These responses emphasize that parenting isn’t about competing but about showing up. They urge readers to focus on what’s best for the child, not the egos of adults.

klc123 − NTA. I don’t know if his wife was hiding his messages or if he was ignoring them but either way, it’s not your fault. He’s mad at the wrong person. Also, hasn’t your ex had YEARS to teach your son to fish? It’s not fault he never made it a priority

CogginNoggin − NTA, his dad had at LEAST 11 or 12 years to take the kid fishing. You made multiple attempts to reach him and he chose not to respond. Your son also tried and he didn't respond. Only person he should be angry at is himself for missing the opportunity.

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blacklacha − NTA.. It is not your job to manage their relationship.. You make your son available, but you don't have to organise the activity etc. If his father is too lazy, or his new wife get in the way, well, thats on THEM, not you.

juniperberry52 − NTA and good for you for taking him on the trip. That will be a great memory for you both.

zachthew − NTA he didnt answer and yes you could have messaged in all honesty the wife is t.a. how could they just not get him? Even if they were suspicious about him cheating just listen in? God that's just so rude!

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duck_mom8909 − NTA if he wanted to take your son fishing he would have. He ia the a**hole for gerting made at you for spending time with your son.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Don't really know why your ex cares so much. It was just a fishing trip, what's the harm in that?

NatleysWhoresKidSis − Fishing is not a zero sum game. There are not a limited amount of fishing trips in the World. Your ex is not mad because you went fishing, he is mad because you are showing him up for the s**tty father that he is. All he needs to do to fix this is get his act together and stop disappointing his kid.. NTA obviously.

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Antwerpanda − NTA. There's always next time.. Dad needs to get over himself.. And new wife needs to be less controlling.

NyX1986 − NTA, and you know what? Keep taking your son fishing! One day your son is going to look back when he has children and he’s going to think the same thing you thought about your dad that “some of the best memories I have of my childhood are fishing with my mom” and then he’s going to take his children out fishing so that they have those same memories.

This story casts a line into the heart of co-parenting: it’s about putting kids first, even when the other parent doesn’t. The mother’s fishing trip wasn’t a jab at her ex but a gift to her son, reclaiming time they both cherish. Have you ever had to step up when a co-parent fell short? Share your stories—your insights could help others navigate the tricky waters of shared parenting.

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