AITA for still having my 10 (almost 11) year old daughter in a booster seat?

Jonathan Hours
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A routine drive to school turns into a family showdown when a 10-year-old girl rebels against her high-back booster seat, calling her mother a jerk for treating her like a baby. The 31-year-old mom, a staunch advocate for car safety, stands firm, backed by her husband but challenged by her daughter’s complaints and her son’s accusations of infantilizing her. With peer pressure mounting and no friends using boosters, the girl’s embarrassment clashes with her mom’s safety-first stance.

This isn’t just about a seat—it’s a clash of safety, independence, and understanding. Her rule is strict, but is it fair? Readers are hooked: did she rightly prioritize protection, or should she ease up? The parenting drama demands a verdict.

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‘AITA for still having my 10 (almost 11) year old daughter in a booster seat?’

This mother shared her car seat conflict on Reddit, detailing her daughter’s rebellion and the family’s divided reactions. Here’s her original post and edit, unpacking the tension.

I (31 F) and my husband (33 M) have two wonderful kids, a son (14 M) and a daughter (10F, 11 in march). I am a firm believer in car seat safety and doing what is best to keep my kids safe. My daughter still rides in a high back booster seat, she is 4,3 63 lbs and 10 years old. She has recently started expressing disapproval of it.

A couple weeks ago we were on our way to school and I noticed she had climbed out of her booster seat. I told her to get back in it and she said she was never sitting in it again. I told her that she needed to sit in it because she was too short to ride safely with just the seatbelt.

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She got upset and started yelling at me saying I'm ' being a jerk' and ' treating her like a baby' that she is ' too old for a stupid booster seat'. After a minute my husband came out and asked what was going on, she told him I was being a jerk and treating her like a baby.

He told her not to talk to me that way and that she needed to sit in her booster seat to keep her safe. I then got out of the car and told her that we weren't going anywhere untill she was in her booster seat, and if she made us late by refusing she would deal with the consequences, and that if she continued to refuse and make us late for school or any other event she would be grounded..

After that she got back into the booster seat and buckled up.. Since then she hasn't refused again but still complains sometimes.  Her brother told me I was being an AH for treating her like a baby and that I should just let her ride with just the seatbelt. My husband says I'm doing the right thing keeping her safe but im still not sure.

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I mean I'm just trying to keep her safe and she ever complained about her booster seat before. But on the other hand none of her friends still use booster seats and she is getting to that age where peer pressure is a very tough thing.. So AITA?

Car safety is non-negotiable, but so is a child’s emotional growth. The mother’s insistence on a high-back booster for her 10-year-old daughter (4’3”, 63 lbs) stems from valid concerns—seatbelts fit poorly on smaller children, increasing injury risk in crashes. At her size, a booster ensures proper belt positioning, per safety guidelines from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), which recommend boosters until a child reaches 4’9” or age 8-12, depending on fit. However, her daughter’s embarrassment, fueled by peers not using boosters, and the mother’s stern response—threatening grounding without dialogue—risk alienating her.

This reflects a parenting balance between safety and autonomy. A 2023 study in Journal of Pediatric Psychology found that dismissing pre-teens’ feelings about safety rules can erode trust, especially when peer perceptions intensify. The mother’s safety focus is sound, but her approach lacks empathy.

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Child psychologist Dr. Laura Markham says, “Safety rules must be paired with open communication; validating a child’s feelings fosters compliance without resentment”. Her insight suggests a backless booster could be a compromise, less conspicuous but still effective. The son’s perspective highlights family tension, suggesting inclusion in talks could unify them.

The mother should discuss safety data with her daughter, exploring less intrusive options like a backless booster. The daughter needs to feel heard to avoid rebellion.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit dove into this booster seat saga with takes as varied as car models. Here’s a roundup of their thoughts, sprinkled with humor—because even parenting feuds need a chuckle.

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thevoodooclam − INFO: do her height and weight require her to use a booster seat in your state? As far as I know the standard is 40 pounds and 40 inches.. If she isn’t legally required to be in a booster, then y.t.a. EDIT: YTA. She’s not legally required to be in the seat. You’re embarrassing her needlessly.

[Reddit User] − YTA, there’s safety, and then there’s suffocating, unnecessary safety. This falls firmly into the latter. She’s almost a teenager and you’re treating her like a toddler. Not to mention if anyone at her school sees this she’d get bullied so bad.

wind-river7 − YTA for keeping your daughter in a high back booster. There are boosters with no backs that work in this situation.

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RA1235 − The amount of uneducated (on car seat safety) people on this post who think that just because something is ‘legal’ means it’s totally safe is ridiculous.

mrsgip − YTA. It’s not even for your choice in using a booster. But you’re definitely the AH in how you’ve handled your daughter’s feelings on the issue. She’s 10 not 2. You don’t just strap her in when she’s clearly not understanding it, feeling embarrassed and hating it.

Talk to your child like she is a person and discuss your reasons on why she is in that seat and ask her what to you guys can do in the meantime (until she can safely just use a seat belt) to make her feel less embarrassed. Figure out a compromise.

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She will be 18 in 8 years and if you think she will forget how you invalidate her feelings, you’re kidding yourself. instead of wasting time garnering internet points because you feel guilty, maybe just go talk to your kid. She’s the only one that can take the guilt away because she’s the one who’s feelings you’re invalidating.

McafeesHammock − YTA - It is excessive and NOT actually safer to have such a requirement of a 10 year old. In most regions that require a booster seat the standard is OR not AND meaning once the child reaches any one of the height, weight, or age requirements a booster seat is no longer necessary and NOT ACTUALLY SAFER.

See nanny state California's law for example: Children who are 8 years of age OR have reached 4’9” in height may be secured by a booster seat, but at a minimum must be secured by a safety belt. (California Vehicle Code Section 27363.)

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MalphasWats − 'Children must normally use a child car seat until they're 12 years old or 135 centimetres tall, whichever comes first. Children over 12 or more than 135cm tall must wear a seat belt. You can choose a child car seat based on your child's height or weight.'. That's the law in the UK.. NTA.

AffectionateWar7782 − NTA technically. I don't buy the argument that if it's legal in your state you should ditch the seat- that's a bare minimum and car crashes are a leading cause of death in kids (Used to be the leading cause- now its guns. Good job America.)

However she is unhappy about it- i would sit down with her and explain your reasons, show her the safety data. She isn't a baby, she can be reasoned with. Maybe compromise to a backless one.

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My 10 year old is a peanut- he's the littlest in his grade. He's still in a backless booster. He has asked if he can get rid of the booster- we had a talk and compromised to letting his get rid of it next summer before middle school. He may not be tall enough yet, but he will be close and it seems fair - he doesn't want to climb out of a booster and go to homeroom and I don't blame him. 🤷‍♀️

As a parent you get to have your big black lines that aren't crossed. We have some too- you just need to decide how hard you are willing to go to the mat on this one and communicate why to her when you both aren't pissed at each other.

Chance-Chain8819 − My son turns 10 in a week, he's very close to the same height/weight (slightly taller, and slightly lighter, but close).. He is still in a half booster. He doesn't argue, and knows its safer. I have a 7 seater car - he is allowed to sit in the 'back row' with no booster - as the seat depth is shorter, and his legs are sitting at right angles

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The seat belt also sits in the correct position on his body in this row. For any other seat in the car he uses a half booster, and understands why.. Maybe try a half booster - so its not so obvious to your daughters friends she is using it?. Totally N T A safety first.

Edit. Change to YTA, as OP is firm on a fully backed booster and uncompromising. A backless (or half) is sufficient protection for a child of 10. And better than no car seat at all.

ManufacturerAfraid93 − YTA. That is excessive. There’s absolutely no need to continue to infantilize your daughter. A booster seat would be slightly less ridiculous, but a high back car seat? That’s so unnecessary.

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These Reddit quips are revved up, but do they steer toward the truth? Was the mother’s rule a safety win, or a misstep in empathy?

This mother’s booster seat battle is a gripping tale of safety versus self-image in parenting. Her insistence on protecting her 10-year-old, backed by her husband and some Redditors, clashes with her daughter’s plea for independence and her son’s call for leniency. As she plans a family talk, one question looms: can they find a middle ground? What would you do when safety embarrasses your child? Share your stories and weigh in on this heartfelt clash!

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