AITA for sleeping with my soon to be ex-wifes friend?

A 36-year-old man, reeling from his wife’s affair, texted her friend two months after their breakup, sparking a fling that turned into feelings—only for the friend to confess to his ex, igniting a firestorm. His wife, now living with her affair partner and introducing him to their kids, calls him the jerk, threatening to force-sell their house, while he defends his actions as fair play in a messy split.

This tangled tale of revenge, romance, and hypocrisy dives into the fallout of a broken marriage and the kids stuck in the middle. Was the man right to pursue his ex’s friend, or did he stir a toxic pot? Let’s unpack the drama and see what Reddit had to say!

‘AITA for sleeping with my soon to be ex-wifes friend?’

The drama began with a marriage-ending affair:

My wife cheated on me two months ago with a guy she met while we still were together and working on the relationship. Now almost two months later I texted...

The OP met this woman through his wife:

I met this woman the first time in our home because my wife invited her and her kid to play with our kid, they got along decently from what I...

This woman told my wife and I that she was single and had left the father. Now mind you this is ALL I knew about my wifes and her relationship...

A fling turned serious, complicating things:

Fast forward I text this woman after two months of our breakup because why not, I thought she looked good and that we could probably just have a good time....

The woman I met then proceeded to text my soon to be ex-wife that she has feelings for me and that she is sorry but she cant really ignore them.

His ex’s reaction and ongoing actions fueled the conflict:

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All the while my wife is spending every other week with the guy she cheated with on me and have said she loved him just 2-3 weeks after we broke...

introducing our kids etc to him, posting pictures on facebook where he is holding my kids hands etc.. Now she has the balls to say that Im the a__hole?. Reddit...

He added context about the escalating fallout:

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Edit #1: As the situation stands now she has threatened to contact the court to basically force sell the house to lowest bidder. This could mean our entire 10 year...

And any hopes in putting any of the money from the sale of the house into savings for the kids will be gone. I havent received any calls or letters...

This story lays bare the raw emotions and ethical quagmires of a post-breakup revenge fling. The OP’s decision to pursue his ex-wife’s friend, while technically within his rights as a single man, stirs a volatile mix of hurt and retaliation, especially given the friend’s confession to his ex. His wife’s hypocrisy—condemning him while moving on with her affair partner—doesn’t absolve the questionable timing and choice of partner, particularly with kids involved.

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The OP’s actions reflect a desire to reclaim agency after betrayal, but targeting his ex’s friend risks escalating an already tense co-parenting dynamic. Family therapist Dr. Gary Chapman notes, “Post-breakup decisions driven by hurt can complicate children’s stability if parents prioritize personal battles over co-parenting” (The Five Love Languages). The OP’s ex’s rapid integration of her new partner into their kids’ lives is equally reckless, and her threat to force-sell the house suggests vindictiveness that could harm their children’s financial future.

Both parties are neglecting their kids’ emotional needs. The OP’s quick leap into a new relationship, especially with someone connected to his ex, and the friend’s choice to confess to his ex, add layers of dysfunction that could confuse their children. The ex’s public displays with her new partner and threats about the house sale further destabilize the family. All adults need to prioritize the kids’ well-being over personal vendettas.

Moving forward, the OP should focus on stabilizing the divorce process and protecting his children’s interests. Open communication with his ex about co-parenting boundaries, possibly through mediation, could de-escalate tensions. He should also reflect on whether this new relationship is worth the added drama, especially so soon after the split. Both parents need to shield their kids from adult conflicts and prioritize their emotional and financial security.

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Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit dove into this messy breakup with fiery takes, some cheering the OP’s freedom, others slamming the immature behavior of all adults involved. Here’s every comment, grouped by perspective!

Most supported the OP’s actions:

Glum_Craft_4652 - “NTA, Your wife is a bigg ass h__ocrite.”

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Material-Dot7684 - “Lol, NTA your wife shouldn't have cheated if she wanted any say in who you see. Tell her it's none of her business at all anymore. Eta Bonus...

OkTumbleweed1705 - “Here is what I am thinking: Your ex wife is HOPING that the Chad she threw your marriage in the garbage for sticks around. You know, so she...

Something tells me though that she isn't all that confident in Chad's ‘commitment’ to her so she expected you to wait around like a chump in case she fucked up....

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Impossible-Dark7044 - “Definitely NTA. .. After all this you wouldn't be the AH if you dated her mom.”

Many criticized all adults for prioritizing drama over the kids:

Mindless_Dependent39 - “I feel sorry for your kid(s) sounds like all any of you care about is boning. ETA.”

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Beautiful-Ability-69 - “Both of yall are messy.”

Sugar_Kowalczyk - “ESH - and these folks are parents acting like high schoolers. Two months? A mutual friend you met together in a shared home? Yeah, wife is a h__ocrite...

But also, one person's bad behavior doesn't make your own s__tty behavior less s__tty: texting a mutual after two months was CLEARLY attention seeking/s__t stirring behavior.

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You developed feelings for each other after meeting a few times (or less) two months ago, while you were working on your marriage? That's not working on a marriage, that's...

sneakinsnake - “I feel bad for all the kids.”

Ok-Somewhere911 - “What a messy load of highschool nonsense. Your poor kid, having two parents who can't keep it in their pants for five minutes. Imagine growing up in an...

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Puzzled-Plane-4480 - “ESH. You dont justify unethical behaviour with ‘but they did it first!’. And you fell in love two months after a break up where you were cheated on?...

jessie783 - “Shouldn’t you be concentrating on your kids and the life changing event they’re suddenly going through? Not diving head first into a messy rebound a few weeks after...

tatertraitor - “YTA because you’re putting yourself above what’s best for your kid.”

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Some questioned the friend’s motives:

zaritza8789 - “Why is this woman reaching out to your soon to be ex and discussing what’s happening between the two of you? What exactly was the goal?”

Others saw the fling as a risky move:

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sovereigncookies - “Revenge s__, yeah, sounds like something that ends well for everyone and definitely won't come back to bite you eventually. Personally, I've never used other people's bad behavior...

No-Maybe5997 - “What's the hurry? slow down get your life straight before bringing another women into it? Do it you your kids sake. She's still be there after your divorce...

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This post-breakup saga is a wild ride of hurt, revenge, and messy choices, with kids caught in the chaos. The OP’s fling with his ex’s friend may feel like sweet payback, but it risks fueling more drama, while his ex’s hypocrisy and house-sale threats only deepen the mess. Should he embrace his new romance, or focus on his kids and a cleaner split? What’s your take on this tangled drama? Share your thoughts below!

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