AITA for sleeping with my soon to be ex-wifes friend?
A 36-year-old man, reeling from his wife’s affair, texted her friend two months after their breakup, sparking a fling that turned into feelings—only for the friend to confess to his ex, igniting a firestorm. His wife, now living with her affair partner and introducing him to their kids, calls him the jerk, threatening to force-sell their house, while he defends his actions as fair play in a messy split.
This tangled tale of revenge, romance, and hypocrisy dives into the fallout of a broken marriage and the kids stuck in the middle. Was the man right to pursue his ex’s friend, or did he stir a toxic pot? Let’s unpack the drama and see what Reddit had to say!

‘AITA for sleeping with my soon to be ex-wifes friend?’
The drama began with a marriage-ending affair:

The OP met this woman through his wife:


A fling turned serious, complicating things:


His ex’s reaction and ongoing actions fueled the conflict:


He added context about the escalating fallout:


This story lays bare the raw emotions and ethical quagmires of a post-breakup revenge fling. The OP’s decision to pursue his ex-wife’s friend, while technically within his rights as a single man, stirs a volatile mix of hurt and retaliation, especially given the friend’s confession to his ex. His wife’s hypocrisy—condemning him while moving on with her affair partner—doesn’t absolve the questionable timing and choice of partner, particularly with kids involved.
The OP’s actions reflect a desire to reclaim agency after betrayal, but targeting his ex’s friend risks escalating an already tense co-parenting dynamic. Family therapist Dr. Gary Chapman notes, “Post-breakup decisions driven by hurt can complicate children’s stability if parents prioritize personal battles over co-parenting” (The Five Love Languages). The OP’s ex’s rapid integration of her new partner into their kids’ lives is equally reckless, and her threat to force-sell the house suggests vindictiveness that could harm their children’s financial future.
Both parties are neglecting their kids’ emotional needs. The OP’s quick leap into a new relationship, especially with someone connected to his ex, and the friend’s choice to confess to his ex, add layers of dysfunction that could confuse their children. The ex’s public displays with her new partner and threats about the house sale further destabilize the family. All adults need to prioritize the kids’ well-being over personal vendettas.
Moving forward, the OP should focus on stabilizing the divorce process and protecting his children’s interests. Open communication with his ex about co-parenting boundaries, possibly through mediation, could de-escalate tensions. He should also reflect on whether this new relationship is worth the added drama, especially so soon after the split. Both parents need to shield their kids from adult conflicts and prioritize their emotional and financial security.
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
Reddit dove into this messy breakup with fiery takes, some cheering the OP’s freedom, others slamming the immature behavior of all adults involved. Here’s every comment, grouped by perspective!
Most supported the OP’s actions:





Many criticized all adults for prioritizing drama over the kids:










Some questioned the friend’s motives:

Others saw the fling as a risky move:


This post-breakup saga is a wild ride of hurt, revenge, and messy choices, with kids caught in the chaos. The OP’s fling with his ex’s friend may feel like sweet payback, but it risks fueling more drama, while his ex’s hypocrisy and house-sale threats only deepen the mess. Should he embrace his new romance, or focus on his kids and a cleaner split? What’s your take on this tangled drama? Share your thoughts below!
