AITA for shutting down future “game nights” with my BF and his friends because they expected us to just sit around watching them play video games?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Picture a living room buzzing with the glow of a TV screen, controllers clicking, and a group of guys lost in their virtual world. Now imagine their girlfriends, parked on the couch, stifling yawns as they’re expected to cheer like it’s the Super Bowl. That’s the scene our heroine, let’s call her Mia, walked into during her boyfriend’s so-called “game night.” When the guys planned an encore, Mia slammed the brakes, demanding actual group fun, not a spectator snooze-fest.

Mia’s Reddit AITA post is a zesty mix of relationship drama and gendered expectations, with a side of stubborn boyfriends who don’t get why watching them game isn’t a party. Her bold move to nix future game nights has the guys fuming and Redditors cheering. Was Mia right to pull the plug, or did she overstep? Let’s level up and dive into this pixelated feud.

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‘AITA for shutting down future “game nights” with my BF and his friends because they expected us to just sit around watching them play video games?’

My boyfriend and his friends like to play video games together. I have little to no interest in video games. The issue is that for some reason he and his friends think that them playing video games is the most interesting thing in the world.

And you know how guys who are into sports will have their girlfriends come watch their games? He and his friends kind of expect us, the women, to do the same. I’ll admit that we tried it once. It was boring and a huge waste of time. None of us had any interest in just sitting there watching them play games.

But for some reason the guys like, expected that somehow this counted as a “group hangout” and thought it was a great time. They started to make plans to do it again, and I stepped in and said “Hey you guys can play but we aren’t going to just sit around watching you play video games?”

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They didn’t get why we didn’t like it, because THEY like sitting around watching people play games and are always watching “streamers” play. I said if we’re going to hang out as a group, we all need to be like… doing stuff together? Interacting?

They argued back that we could always join them playing the games, and I just said that I know I have no interest in that, and a few of the other women chimed in to say so. Well, the guys are pissed at me now because to them, I ruined “game” night, which to them was something that everyone could enjoy.

I don’t get why they can’t just play games together without dragging bored girlfriends along for the ride? My instinct is that some of them were using it as a way to pretend they were “spending time” with their girlfriends so they don’t get pegged as being s**tty boyfriends.

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EDIT: Sorry all I'm about to log off and go to happy hour w/ my friends, plus the comments are getting repetitive so I figured I'd answer some q's before I go. 1 - He plays with these friends multiple times a week already, it's not about not wanting him to game. His hobbies are his hobbies, and he's not some loser with an unwashed ass.

Like I have no issue with him playing. They're also not his only friends. 2 - No, the women don't know each other outside of this. These are not friends in the making, this isn't some cutesy little sitcom, we're not trying to make a friend group out of this.

3 I don't like playing board games, and something like D&D is of no interest to me. This applied to most of the other women as well. So please stop with the recommendations lol. ALSO WHAT IS EVERYONE'S OBSESSION WITH WINE!?!?? Like every other comment keeps saying that we should get wine. WHY LMAO STOP

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Mia’s game night shutdown is a classic clash of expectations. The guys’ assumption that their girlfriends should spectate their gaming—mimicking outdated “watch your man play sports” vibes—smacks of self-centeredness with a sexist undertone. Mia’s push for interactive group hangs was a stand for mutual enjoyment, not a rejection of their hobbies.

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman notes, “Successful relationships thrive on mutual attentiveness to each other’s needs” , and Mia’s case mirrors this, amplified by the gendered framing of “women as spectators.”

Mia’s next step? Experts suggest a candid chat with her boyfriend, proposing activities everyone enjoys, like movie nights or trivia. Dr. Gottman’s “bids for connection” principle encourages framing it as a team effort: “Let’s find something we all love.” If the guys dig in, Mia’s instinct about “credit for spending time” might be spot-on, signaling deeper relationship cracks worth addressing.

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Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The Reddit crew stormed in like a raid party, slinging support and snark for Mia’s game-over call. It’s like a virtual tavern where everyone’s got a quip and the shade’s free-flowing. Here’s the unfiltered scoop:

Turqouise_sunset − NTA. That sounds boring. Is there another room in the house or one of the other ladies house where you can hangout and do whatever you want to do ... Pamper evening, board games, etc?

Lurker_the_Pip − “Something everyone could enjoy”. Except is wasn’t.. Sound like they don’t really care if their partners are enjoying it or not.. Selfish boys.. NTA

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Away-Caterpillar-176 − NTA. This post is dripping with sexism which I'm having a hard time ignoring, but... Still NTA. I am a woman who plays video games and I still have never understood why anyone would want to watch someone else play games (twitch is the WEIRDEST concept to me.)

No one has any reason to be upset with you. You must be right about the other boyfriend's thinking they were getting credit for socializing. No one is stopping them from playing games, you just don't want to be a forced captive audience. None of the women liked it. End of story.

Edit: 'twitch is the WEIRDEST concept to me.' 'To me' as in -- I don't enjoy it. It would not be successful as a platform if other people did not enjoy it. I understand many people enjoy it, and that's cool too.. Edit 2: To everyone asking 'what is sexist here?'

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'And you know how guys who are into sports will have their girlfriends come watch their games? He and his friends kind of expect us, the women, to do the same.' The story would have read exactly the same without this line. 'They wanted us to watch video games and we did not want to' is all the justification/explanation she needed.

Her situation is ubiquitously relatable. We've all given a show a shot cause our friend likes it, and decided it wasn't for us (see above edit.) You can think I'm a snowflake for being miffed about that, which is fine because it's def not that serious -- I just think the less we can inject irrelevant gender norms into basic activities and hobbies, the better.

Captain_Bubble_Beard − 'My instinct is that some of them were using it as a way to pretend they were “spending time” with their girlfriends so they don’t get pegged as being s**tty boyfriends.'. You hit the nail on the head there. NTA.

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Jdpraise1 − You absolutely nailed it.. the guys are thinking that if everyone is In the same room it’s a group activity and thus spending time together. It’s not, it’s them selfishly gaming while their partners stare at a screen. Get better boyfriends..

Suitable-Cod-1381 − My ex used to do this. I have no idea why I put up with it, I guess my standards were just lower back then. When I look back I'm amazed by how much time I spent bored out of my skull while he was blissfully uncaring because he was doing something that was fun for him and that's all that mattered. That attitude was reflected in other aspects of our relationship as well.. Your free time is valuable and you get to decide how to spend it. NTA

criticalgraffiti − NTA. This is funny though. Sounds like the guys are trying to normalise the guy stuff. Try planning a spa day and then get confused when they aren’t enjoying getting their nails done. They’ll figure it out quickly enough.

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Kurra − NTA - if half the group isn’t interested in the activity, it’s not really a group hangout. They can still do their game night, but they’re also still on the hook for doing things you all like too. If they don’t agree, tell the boys to come over for a group hang out session and force them all to watch makeup tutorials on YouTube, since it must be sooooo fun for everyone watching people stream!

RosesBrain − My instinct is that some of them were using it as a way to pretend they were “spending time” with their girlfriends so they don’t get pegged as being s**tty boyfriends.. Yeah probably. NTA for having boundaries about how you want to spend your time.

UrDadsFave − NTA. This is hilarious to me because I like playing games but I understand where you are coming from. Do you actually like the other girlfriends enough to actually hang out with without the guys?

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Redditors gave Mia a high score for calling out the guys’ selfish setup, with some spotting sexism in the “watch us play” vibe. Others suggested petty counters like spa-day hangouts. But do their hot takes level up the drama, or just respawn it? One thing’s clear: Mia’s story has the internet buzzing like a console on overdrive.

Mia’s game night takedown is a reminder that “group fun” should mean everyone’s in the game, not just watching. Her stand against being a bored spectator struck a chord with anyone who’s felt sidelined in a relationship. Whether the guys reboot their hangout style or not, Mia’s story is a win for boundaries. What would you do if your partner’s hobby became a mandatory watch party? Share your thoughts and stories below!

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