AITA for showing texts to my roommate that his girlfriend sent me?

A cozy Star Wars movie night turns sour when a roommate’s girlfriend unleashes a digital tirade. Picture a living room filled with pizza, wine, and the glow of a TV, only for the OP to discover a barrage of texts accusing her of flirting with her roommate. The audacity of the demands—down to banning her Disney+ account—sets the stage for a showdown.

This Reddit AITA post dives into a tangle of jealousy and boundaries in a shared home. Readers are hooked, debating whether the OP was right to share the texts or if she stirred the pot unnecessarily.

‘AITA for showing texts to my roommate that his girlfriend sent me?’

I rent a room in a house with my boyfriend and his best friend, Eric. We are all in our 30s and have lived in this home since college. Eric has a girlfriend, around six months, who stays over named Amanda. (Amanda doesn’t live with us) Last night we were all Star Wars fans, so we decided to binge-watch some episodes and get pizza.

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Amanda wanted to use her Disney+ account, but mine is already logged into the tv in the living room. We get our pizza, snacks, wine and beer. I left my phone in my bedroom because I like to unplug after work.

After movie night, I go see my phone before bed, and there are pages of text about how Amanda wants me to stop doing things for her “man,” including start using her Disney+ account on our tv. I’m not allowed to cook or grab him things. The list goes on to where she accuses me of flirting with “her man.”

The thing is a ridiculous wall of text, and I’m showing this to my boyfriend before we go to sleep. He said Eric needed to see this, so I screenshot page after page Amanda sent while we watched the New Trilogy.

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I hear them argue, and Amanda slams the door to leave around 3 am. I told my coworker today, and few thought I was being petty because Amanda has insecurities she needs to work through, and I bullied her about them by sharing her texts with her boyfriend.

Jealousy in shared living spaces can ignite like a spark in dry grass. The OP’s decision to share Amanda’s texts with her roommate, Eric, exposed a rift that needed addressing, but it also raised questions about handling personal insecurities.

Psychologist Dr. John Gottman, in a Psychology Today article, notes, “Unaddressed jealousy can erode trust and lead to controlling behaviors” (source). Amanda’s texts, dictating the OP’s actions in her own home, reflect this toxicity. The OP’s choice to share them was less about pettiness and more about transparency in a shared living situation.

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This ties to a broader issue: navigating boundaries in roommate dynamics. A 2021 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that clear communication reduces conflict in cohabitation (source). Amanda’s approach—texting demands rather than discussing—broke this principle.

For solutions, experts suggest open dialogue. The OP could propose a house meeting to set boundaries.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit didn’t hold back, dishing out humor and support for the OP. Here’s the community’s take, spicy and unfiltered:

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KryoChamber − NTA-. The fact her breaking point was disney+ is wild.. But let's be fr, you probably saved him from a possessive gf. I told my coworker today, and few thought I was being petty because Amanda has insecurities she needs to work through, and I bullied her about them by sharing her texts with her boyfriend.

You definitely weren't petty. She sent you a long ridiculous message, an you and your bf thought this was something he needed to see.. She definitely has insecurities, but she went about that soo badly to send some bs like that.. Wasn't a bullying situation, I'd be wary of those coworkers if thats truly their opinion.

Tootie0 − NTA The only thing crazier than Amanda is your coworker's ridiculous take on the matter.

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C_Alex_author − NTA - Wouldn't you want to know if your partner was acting like a l**atic and alienating your friends? You didn't cause this, she did - so don't feel bad that he wasn't willing to tolerate her behavior. Most sane people wouldn't.

GlesgaD2018 − If Amanda has insecurities to work through then she can do that *but they’re HER insecurities*. She doesn’t get to dictate how you interact with a friend when that interaction is completely appropriate and you have a boyfriend anyway.. EDIT FOR VERDICT. NTA.

TaliesinWI − NTA. Speaking for all of guy-dom, Eric needs to know this about his girlfriend.

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okayish_22 − NTA I had to re-read the ages here twice. Perfect case of not your circus, not your monkey. She involved you so you took it to the person who needed to fix the issue.

airpillow − NTA Seriously... your disney account is an issue. Your disney account on your tv.. SCANDALOUS! clearly you're trained in the arts of seduction!

PNWPainter02 − NTA. People don’t get to “work through their insecurities” by dictating what someone else can do in their own home, with a roommate they had longer than she’s been the girlfriend. The actual nerve of some people blows my mind.

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throwaway798319 − NTA. Pfft you bullied HER? She tried to dictate how you should act in your own home. She's trying to control her boyfriend.

therandomfunone − NTA. If I am Eric, I am thanking you the next time I see you for getting me away from the crazy.

These hot takes light up the drama, but do they nail the real issue? Let’s discuss.

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This saga of texts and tantrums highlights the chaos of jealousy in shared spaces. The OP’s move to share Amanda’s messages sparked a fight but also exposed a truth Eric needed to see. Have you ever dealt with a roommate’s partner crossing lines? What would you do in this messy situation? Share your stories below and keep the convo alive!

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