AITA for sending two of my kids back home?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Picture a dreamy beach vacation with a blended family of ten, only for it to crash when two kids sneak onto the forbidden sand. That’s the storm Mark, a dad of three, ignited when he caught his 16-year-old and 9-year-old sons defying his “no beach” rule while the adults dined out. Furious, he vowed to ship them home on a plane, leaving his ex-wife stunned and his sons begging to stay. Was Mark’s tough love justified, or did he overplay the strict dad card?

Mark’s Reddit AITA post is a turbulent tale of co-parenting, teenage rebellion, and a punishment that’s got everyone reeling. With Reddit slamming his parenting like a tidal wave, this beachside blowout is sparking debates hotter than a summer scorcher. Let’s wade into the drama and see who’s sinking or swimming.

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‘AITA for sending two of my kids back home?’

I organized a family vacation with my ex-wife, our three kids, my wife, our two kids and my ex's husband and their son. So 4 adults, and six kids (all boys BTW) from age 5 to 16 (5, 7, 7, 9, 14 and 16). We arrives on Wednesday and are staying at a house by the beach.

The four adults decided to go to dinner together and the number one rule was NO beach. Pool, video games, etc yes. NO beach. I said if they did then they're done. We went out to dinner and I see two of my kids at the beach. The worst part was that one was my eldest (Chris) who was supposed to be watching the other kids.

The other one was my 9 year old. I was livid. I told my ex that I was sending them back home. She asked me what I was talking about. I said they're done with being on vacation. I'm going to put them on a plane and her parents can pick them up and we'll see them on Monday when we fly back.

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She told me that was crazy. My 9 and 16 are begging me to let them stay. I'm just waiting to see if I can find another flight. Edit: Why would I hire a sitter to watch a 16 and 14yo? BOTH boys were the designated sitters. The youngest three were a couple of hours away from bedtime.

Mark’s threat to send his sons home is a parenting misstep rooted in anger, not reason. Leaving six kids, aged 5 to 16, under a 16-year-old’s watch was a setup for chaos—teens aren’t equipped to manage five younger siblings, especially with a tempting beach nearby. The “no beach” rule was valid for safety, but his extreme punishment—exiling minors without parental consensus—escalates a teachable moment into a family fracture.

Child psychologist Dr. Laura Markham says, “Discipline should teach, not alienate; consequences must fit the crime” . His 16-year-old’s lapse reflects typical teen impulsivity, not malice, per developmental research.

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Mark should cool off and replace the plane ticket with a proportional consequence, like a day without activities, as Dr. Markham suggests. He needs to apologize to his ex-wife for unilateral action and discuss rules as a team. Hiring a sitter for future adult outings is a must. Mark’s heart was in safety, but his temper risks lasting resentment.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit squad surged in like a riptide, dunking Mark’s parenting with fierce critiques and a splash of snark. It’s a virtual lifeguard tower where everyone’s blowing the whistle, and the shade’s relentless. Here’s the raw scoop:

JSzos − YTA. You left 6 kids unattended. You expected one 16 year old to be able to chaperone 5 other children whilst the adults went out to play.

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mysisterscotland − Yta you expect a 16 year old to watch 5 young kids. It's hard enough one but FIVE. Also you are sending them home without a parent. A NINE year old and SIXTEEN year old. I get it sucks when kids dont listen but seriously what's wrong with you.

Morallta − YTA. It's true that they directly disobeyed you, but this is a disproportionate response, and not worth it in the long run. Your kids WILL remember this, and not in the way you're thinking. They went on the beach -- so f**king what? Do not ruin the vacation (or your relationship with them) because you can't handle your own temper over something this trivial. If you want to be taken seriously as a parent, this is not how you do it.

unusualamountofloam − YTA. Why couldn’t your kids go to dinner too? Why just the adults? Did you bring the 16 and 14 year olds just as babysitters?

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[Reddit User] − You left six kids alone. YTA. If one had drowned, whose fault would it be and who'd be arrested for leaving 6 minors with no adult supervision? YOU.

Peasplease25 − YTA. I bet your ex-wife is thanking her lucky stars she's your ex.. The kids, well your ex's new son is over the moon your not his Dad. If you want a holiday when you don't have to watch your own children you PAY someone who isn't on holiday to look after them. Barely there and you've already decided to make you minor children parents for the night.. WTF! You need to apologise and get some therapy because you have no idea how to parent.

FloppyEaredDog − Don’t do it. You’ll regret it forever as your kids will feel rejected from the family even more so because they’re from a fractured home. It will create a distance between you and them and even when they’re a 100 they will remember when dad excluded them from a family vacation.

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Cool down and find a more proportionate punishment. YTA. If anyone should be going home on a plane it’s you. Who leaves a 16 year old boy in charge of 5 kids? Info: The adults went out to dinner. Did your kids get to eat too?

bists − YTA. In a way it would be hilarious to send the eldest kid home, and you might actually have to look after the children rather than buggering off out.

onesmallbite − YEs, your kids disobeyed you and did something that you very rightly said was off limits for obvious safety concerns. Having a 16 and 14 year old present should be ok to leave them alone for a short period of time without incident.

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And it sounds like you weren’t that far away if you could see them on the beach from where you were eating. And good on you all for being able to vacation together as a big family. The kids do need to have consequences but your discipline is over the top.

It’s important for the kids to all spend this time together and bond and you don’t want to throw that out. Make them stay home without electronics for a day instead of going out to do activities with the rest of the family is appropriate punishment.

Making them fly home as minors and making your ex in laws take care of them without notice is unfair to everyone. Taking matters into your own hands without conversation or compromise with the other parent is totally disrespectful to her and terrible co-parenting.. YTA

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Highland_dame − YTA, ALL THE ADULTS.. GET YOUR LAZY A$$ AND GO LOOK AFTER YOUR CHILDREN.

Redditors branded Mark a neglectful dad, slamming his reliance on teens as babysitters and his over-the-top penalty. Some questioned why the kids were excluded from dinner, others foresaw lasting family rifts. Do their takes keep the peace, or just stir the surf?

Mark’s beach ban blowout is a stark reminder that parenting demands balance, not ultimatums. His sons’ rule-breaking deserved consequences, but banishing them risks scars deeper than a sunburn. This saga resonates with anyone navigating blended families or teenage defiance. What would you do if your kids broke a vacation rule? Share your thoughts and stories below!

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