AITA for sending my sister to live with our parents?

Jonathan Hours
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A dream vacation turns into a nightmare when a 21-year-old homeowner returns to find her townhouse in shambles—beer bottles strewn about, a shredded couch, and glass shards everywhere. Her 19-year-old sister, Layla, left in charge, shrugs it off as a “small get-together.” This isn’t her first offense, and with trust shattered, the homeowner draws a hard line: Layla must go live with their parents.

Layla’s tears and her friends’ accusations of being a “bad sister” sting, but the homeowner stands firm, demanding 100% done with disrespect in her own home. Readers will feel the weight of her frustration and debate: was kicking Layla out a fair consequence or an overreach? This story dives into boundaries, accountability, and the cost of second chances.

‘AITA for sending my sister to live with our parents?’

I, 21 F, have been living with my younger sister Layla, 19F for about a year now. Our parents are in another city and she wanted to stay here with me. I own the house, it’s a somewhat small town house with three bedrooms. One my boyfriend and I share, hers, and a spare room.

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A week ago my boyfriend and I went on a short vacation while we had time off of work (our office was being fixed up due to severe water damage from floods). And it was an amazing time. When we got home a few days ago, the entire house was destroyed.

Beer bottles everywhere (legal age for drinking is 18 here), couch was torn to shreds and shattered glass all over the floor. I asked her what the hell happened and she claimed she had a “small get together”. I told her she needs to clean everything up and pay for the couch, and that I don’t want her living with me again until I can see a solid change in her attitude and respect for my house.

She started crying and begging for me to give her another chance but I told her I’m done. She asked how she was supposed to pay for the couch without a job and I told her to find a way. After she cleaned up everything she locked herself in her room and didn’t come out for a few hours. This isn’t the first time she’s done this, she did a similar thing a few months prior but not to this extent.

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I figured I’d let it slide since it wasn’t too bad to clean, but told her if it happens again she’ll need to find somewhere else to live because she can’t keep having parties here. I called my parents and told them everything, and they said that she could live with them while she looks for a job and place of her own.

I let her know that she needs to leave because I can’t trust her anymore and she started screaming at me. My boyfriend eventually had to step in and tell her she needs to leave or he’d call the police, and that got her to calm down and start packing. Eventually she had a bag packed with basic necessities and i told her I’d box all her stuff and drive it up to our parents for her.

She hasn’t spoken to me since but her friends have come to my house to tell me that I’m an “awful sister” for not letting her have fun. I understand that she an adult and can have fun, but she can do that while being respectful of other people’s properties and belongings.

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A trashed house and a broken trust can test even the tightest sibling bonds. The homeowner’s decision to send Layla to their parents’ reflects a need to reclaim her space and enforce accountability. Layla’s repeated disregard for rules, coupled with her lack of remorse, pushed her sister to a breaking point. Was it harsh? Maybe, but it was also self-preservation.

Psychologist Dr. John Townsend notes, “Boundaries are about protecting your own well-being, not punishing others” . The homeowner’s stance aligns with this, prioritizing her home’s sanctity over Layla’s pleas. A 2023 study found 35% of young adults living with family struggle with respecting household rules, often straining relationships (source).

She could maintain open communication with Layla, offering support from a distance while keeping firm boundaries. Installing security cameras, as some Redditors suggested, might prevent future surprises.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit rallied behind the homeowner, dishing out support with a side of shade for Layla’s party crew. Here’s the community’s take, as blunt as a broken beer bottle:

jcoop982 − NTA She disrespected your property and boundaries. She isn't a child. She is an adult. Why doesn't she have a job at 19? I'm assuming it's because she is in school? She needs to decide if she wants to have these mini-ragers or be a responsible adult.

If she did this at any other place she was renting, she'd be out on her ass. Sounds like your parents have your side. Her friends are immature AH too. They were most likely there destroying your home as well, so why would their opinions matter?

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Agitated-Score365 − NTA- it’s your home and you were kind to let her live there. It’s bare minimum that she should treat your home respectfully and respect your boundaries. Anywhere she went she would have to replace what she damaged.

A hotel would charge, a landlord would charge. She doesn’t get a free pass because it’s inconvenient. Her friends are not really her friends because they trashed where she lives. They are mad they can’t have fun and trash the place she lived, that you own. Once is a mistake, twice is deliberate. She’s just mad that she got called out.

CoverCharacter8179 − Obvious NTA, not sure why you needed to ask. You're concerned because *her friends* are calling you a bad sister? As in, I can only assume, the same people who helped her destroy your house? If you hear anything further from them, just tell them what they owe you for the couch.

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IAMIMPOSSIBEAR − NTA. Your house, your rules, and she’s an adult, who can deal with those adult consequences.

mslisath − Pack her up and drop her at her friends' house. Or better yet, invoice those friends for the damages to your property.. What these so called friends were saying: you are mean for taking our party house away. Oh and go through your jewelry and clothes, 10 bucks says something is missing

PBnSyes − She already knows she has to leave. Her performance is merely a hail mary to save her sweet deal. Don't let her back ever.

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Organic-Date-1718 − Absolutely NTA. Good for you on setting boundaries and following thru. She did this to herself. 

DJfromNL − NTA. She got a second chance and blew it. That’s on her, not you.

donname10 − Nta, but stranger coming to my house telling me imma bad sister? Time to record everything and make use of the police.

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NinjaHidingintheOpen − She can have fun at her friend's houses. Get a camera that sends notifications to your phone if people come by. Send them all to the friend's house.

These Reddit roasts are fiery, but do they miss Layla’s side? Maybe she’s just young and reckless, or perhaps her friends egged her on.

From a trashed townhouse to a sister sent packing, this tale is a masterclass in drawing lines and sticking to them. The homeowner’s choice to evict Layla sparked drama but also reclaimed her peace. Was she a tough-love hero or too quick to boot her sis? It’s a question that cracks open family ties and tough calls. What would you do if your sibling turned your home into a disaster zone? Drop your thoughts in the comments—let’s keep this party (respectfully) going!

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