AITA for screaming at & banning my SIL & niece from my home after they DESTROYED my houseplants?
In this account, a dedicated houseplant enthusiast is left devastated after her carefully curated collection is deliberately mangled and partially sold by her stepmother-in-law (SIL) and 14-year-old niece. Over the years, she had grown passionate about her plants—nurturing and collecting up to 70 of them at one point, before paring down to the 35 she truly cherished.
When she left town for work, she trusted her SIL and niece to care for her beloved plants, even offering a few cuttings as a trade. However, upon her return, she found that not only had they watered and provided proper light, but they had also taken it upon themselves to give the plants drastic “haircuts,” resulting in the destruction of several prized specimens. Overwhelmed by anger and heartache, she exploded in fury, banishing them from her home and vowing never to let them return.
‘AITA for screaming at & banning my SIL & niece from my home after they DESTROYED my houseplants?’
Family psychologists and property experts alike acknowledge that when personal belongings hold significant emotional and financial value, violations of trust can lead to extreme emotional reactions.
Dr. Karen Mullins, a family therapist specializing in property disputes, explains, “For someone who has invested years in building and caring for a collection, seeing that work disrespected and even commodified by family members can trigger a profound sense of betrayal. In cases where the violation involves not only physical destruction but also the unauthorized sale of valued items, it is understandable for the emotional response to be intense.”
Furthermore, experts note that clear boundaries must be maintained in any caregiving arrangement. “When a caretaker oversteps by altering or selling property without consent, it’s not only a breach of trust—it’s a form of emotional theft,” adds Dr. Mullins. This perspective reinforces the idea that while the reaction may seem severe, it is rooted in a deep commitment to protecting one’s personal treasures.
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
The Reddit community has largely rallied behind the plant enthusiast, with many commenters expressing sympathy and admiration for her fierce stand. One user noted, “If anyone messes with your plants, they deserve every bit of your wrath—those plants are not just decorations, they’re your heart and soul!” Others emphasized that the deliberate nature of the damage, combined with the attempt to profit from her hard work, leaves no room for a mild reaction.
Comments such as “NTA – you trusted them, and they betrayed that trust in the worst possible way” have been echoed repeatedly. Some users even criticized her SIL for not understanding that plants require careful, knowledgeable care, and that a 14-year-old who has a history of theft should not be given free rein.
In conclusion, the incident raises important questions about trust, personal property, and the responsibilities of family members when entrusted with someone’s cherished belongings. While some might argue that the reaction was over the top, many believe that when one’s passion and investment are so blatantly disrespected, extreme measures may feel justified
What do you think—was her reaction warranted given the circumstances, or could there have been a more constructive way to address the betrayal? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below, and let’s discuss the balance between emotional investment and familial forgiveness.
