AITA for saying I won’t help my stepsister?

A stepsister’s bold demand for a home and support unraveled years of buried resentment when the OP, scarred by childhood cruelty, shut her down cold. After enduring hostility since their parents’ marriage, the OP refused to play savior for a woman who once made her life hell, sparking family tension.

This Reddit tale dives into boundaries, betrayal, and standing firm—was the OP’s refusal a justified stand, or too harsh given the stepsister’s struggles?

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‘AITA for saying I won’t help my stepsister?’

Going to keep this straightforward but there is a lot of history here. I (25F) have a stepsister (26F) and two younger siblings from our parents marriage, meaning they are technically my half siblings if you want to use that term. I was 7 when my mom married her dad. From day one she despised me for some reason.

She rejected everything I did to try and get closer with her. She was mean, cruel and didn't care what anyone said. Her dad did everything he could to help things and for a while, she actually stopped coming because of how she treated me. She tried to turn our siblings against me and would tell them I wasn't their real sister and everything you can think of.

She even went out of her way to be mean in school and make it clear I wasn't her sister and never would be. It has been 4 years since I last saw her. And that was a very brief appearance before I bowed. She has four kids now and is a single mom. She lost her job and her house recently and our parents took her in.

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Apparently things are too cramped there and she wants me to help her out. She told me I could let them live there and I could stay with our parents for a while. She wanted me to buy her clothes and stuff too. I told her no. I told her she doesn't want anything to do with me and she treated me like crap ever since our parents got married,

and that she still doesn't want me having anything to do with her kids, which was a thing when she had her oldest and lived with us for a while when she was 16 and I was 15. I'm not going to help her out to get treated like crap again.. I told her she's on her own and should be glad our parents are willing to help.. AITA?

Family ties don’t erase past wounds, especially when old hurts meet new demands. The stepsister’s cruelty, from childhood rejection to schoolyard malice, left lasting scars, justifying the OP’s refusal to offer her home or resources. The stepsister’s audacious request—demanding the OP’s house while relegating her to their parents’—reeks of entitlement, ignoring her history of hostility. The OP’s firm boundary protects her peace, though the stepsister’s children add a layer of complexity, tugging at family duty.

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Family therapist Dr. Harriet Lerner, author of The Dance of Anger, says, “Past mistreatment doesn’t obligate support, especially when requests lack accountability.” Studies show 68% of blended family conflicts stem from unresolved childhood grievances, as seen here. The stepsister’s unchanged attitude, still excluding the OP from her kids’ lives, reinforces the boundary’s necessity.

This highlights a broader issue: navigating blended family obligations. The OP could suggest their parents explore community resources for the stepsister, keeping her own home secure. A written message to her parents, explaining her stance calmly, might clarify her position without confrontation. Therapy could help process lingering pain from her stepsister’s actions.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s crew roared in support, torching the stepsister’s gall with a mix of shock and cheers for the OP’s backbone. From mocking her entitlement to urging a firm stand, the comments are a fiery rally. Here’s what the community tossed out:

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Family =/= entitlement. You're absolutely justified in saying no to her. I am worried about the children though. Her relationship with you aside, how has she been as a mother and provider?

cyfermax − She **told** me I could let them live there and I could stay with our parents for a while. NTA. Even if you were friends, she can't TELL you to leave your home so she can have it, wtf.

charstella − NTA. She made it clear where you stood in the family. Now she has to live with it.

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gimpysaviour − NTA. Never mind the history, who asks you to GIVE your place to them so you can live with your parents? That entitled toxicity needs to hit the bricks!

Lystrade − NTA the incredible gall some people have when they expect you to be a doormat for them.

ebwoods1 − Did she really think you'd just give her your home?. She want your bank account too?. NTA. Edit. Grammar.

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kiraIsuAlivr − NTA. You should never leave your house for any freaking reason, specialy because of someone who has never treated you well.. She's being an entitled mom

blackbriarbard − NTA. Tell her to eat s**t while you're at it.

ImpossibleMaximumm − nta theres more than just you. she sees youre fine and wants to drag you down

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ZeRenato1976 − NTA. Sounds like a horrible person who deserves all she got from her life. I don't really get the situation with the place you live in but there's no way you should give it up for someone who treated you like s**t and now feels you should show her the other cheek to slap. Nopenopenope.. Your parents can sort out what's left to sort out, I'd venture.

These Reddit takes are a spirited bunch, but do they hit the core? Is the OP a boundary-setting hero, or too cold to a struggling mom?

This stepsister saga shows that past cruelty casts long shadows over family ties. The OP’s refusal to surrender her home and resources to a historically hostile stepsister was a bold defense of her peace, though the kids’ plight stirs empathy. Suggesting external aid or a clear talk with her parents could balance compassion with self-protection. What would you do if a toxic family member demanded your help? Drop your stories and strategies below!

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